Instant Classics

[NC Tigah]



[sawfiddle]

Saban just got back from one of those Tacky Christmas Sweater parties

Note: You can blame AL.com video for the craptastic formatting eff ups...hope you had a merry Christmas



Yeah, I know Tiders.

"That sweeter cost more then yure life, barner!"

Even so, lil' Saban looks like my kid nephew at the candlelight Christmas Eve service.

Except my nephew wouldn't look so gosh damn nervous, and pissed all the damn time. Even after Nick's 12-1 season, he still looks as verbally constipated as ever in front of the assembled media...with hate in every shrug of his shoulders, smerk of his evil mouth and repeated utterance of "relative to."

How could you not love this guy? RTR.

By the way, this video was taken on the 28th, so maybe the yet to be disclosed Andre Smith decision was weighing heavily on Saban's alleged soul. Hey, but who gives an eff about that guy? "Andre the Giant" was one of Shula's no-talent recruits, right? On to bigger and better things.


Tider Porn - Happy New Year

SEC: Still the Best

So, the SEC was a little "top heavy" (much like your mother) this season with Florida, Alabama, Georgia and Ole Miss leading the way, but is that necessarily a bad thing? The SEC's about to embarrass the best of the rest (The Big XII) on a national stage this January. Enjoy yo-self.

If You'd Like to Play Ole Miss in A Bowl Game, Please Stand Up

This is what you have to look forward to...




Yeah, the music gets a bit repetitive. Who knew little Ole Miss could play with such swagger?

Bowl possibilities:

Capital One (in Orlando) vs. Ohio State or Michigan State: I would love for Ole Miss to be the third SEC team in as many years to embarrassed that sweater-vested douchebag from THE Ohio State. This is a dream scenario. Michigan State isn't sexy in the least, but they could say goodbye to that running game (The SEC's MSU had negative 51 yards rushing in the Egg bowl)

Cotton Bowl vs. Texas Tech: This would also be a fun matchup. Tons of effeminate Ole Miss fans are skeerd of the likes of TTU, because pass defense is not exactly the Rebs specialty, but I say Peria Jerry would eat a piece of that dainty little Graham Harrell's soul every time he dropped back and jumped around the backfield. I say bring it. Land Sharks, baby.

This Just In: The BCS Blows Ass

I Say Screw 'Em

With apologies to The Lloyd Carr Retirement Party, what a turdtastic New Years Day of College football. Wow, Bowl Gods/BCS Gurus... thanks for putting together such titillating match ups of top tier talent and teams. Behold the once meaningful Sugar Bowl (UGA 41, Hawaii 10) or the has-been respected Cotton Bowl (Mizzou 38, Arkanas 7) or the "Grandaddy" (of poop?), Rose Bowl (Southern Cal 49, Illinois 17). Yes, BCS, directly or indirectly thank you for another huge, steaming pile of crappy dung this holiday season. I needed that.

Maybe we blogging types should spearhead a nation-wide, post season Bowl boycott. Hmmm... Don't watch and don't attend the bowl games for a year?!? Interesting.

Hit those effers in the wallet! Screw them for thinking they can force feed us this processed, punchless excuse for a post-season. College football is the people's game, and these scrote sacks are trying to tell us how it's gonna be. Nonsense! But who is this proverbial "they?"

Contrary to popular belief, the NCAA is nothing more than an organization governed by the combined university presidents. Those same university presidents who constantly beg us alumni and fans for donations, support and attendance.

I don't think I've ever met a fan who can say with a straight face, "No, I think the BCS is the right way to go. It just works. Can't you see?" No. That's total balls and ass, and it was hard to even type.

Why can't the presidents see this as clearly as we fans? I'll tell you why...Those jackholes are thinking "What is better than guaranteed money in hand?" Basically, "Why change...We gettin' paid, son!" Yeah, you'll see this kind of backwards, short sighted, ignant behavior in all aspects of life.

That why so many dumbass are out there buying Certificates of Deposit at their local bank... "Well, I may only be earning 3% interest but it's guaranteed, bitch!" Who cares that the stock market is averaging 12% returns over say the last...forever. Who wants to put their dick out there like that?..."Mutual funds ain't guaranteed and they kinda confusing, right?"

In The SEC, the biggest opponent of a playoff system (proposed by The Florida President at the SEC meeting last spring) was Vanderbilt President (And Founding Tri-Lam), Gordon Gee. Obviously, Vanderbilt (a school that hasn't been bowling since The War of Northern Aggression) potentially has the most to lose from a change. Vandy's struggling pseudo-athletic department gets a much needed kick in the pants after every bowl season when the (oft unearned) pooled bowl payouts are spread evenly among the 12 SEC member institutions. The prospect of no more SEC welfare must be a chilling possibility to these "have nots."

However, if we can somehow guarantee that the Vanderbilts of the world will continue to get their government check on the first and the fifteenth, the sky seems to be the limit (example: guarantee each conference at least one spot in the playoff and spread the money around like normal - What's the difference between that and the BCS?). The NCAA would be printing money.

Just imagine, right now, January 2...after a few rounds of the intensely exciting and lucrative college football playoff, we'd be looking at the most amazing final four in sports...

LSU vs USC and Ohio State vs. Georgia

or

USC vs Georgia and Mizzou vs West Virginia

or who the hell knows...That the beauty of a playoff.

My question is this: Why do we support this crapass system, only to complain about it for the other 11 months of the year?

It's 10am and I'm Already Sick of Mack Brown's Step Son

This Video is So Hot Right Now


[HT: Awful Announcing]

Hope you had a wonderful christmas. Chris Jesse and ESPN can bite my ass. He didn't even touch the damn ball. Why do we care? It's not like that non-touch changed the outcome of the game. By the way, it was the freaking Holiday Bowl. It was not the Super Bowl or the NLCS. Don't compare this douche-nozzle to Bartman (like The World Wide Leader did). Don't be a prick. Lets move on to more important matters...

Oh wait. I forgot. The days between Christmas and the weekend seem to be the sweaty taint of the space-time continuum. Taint here, and cetainly taint there. Absolutely nothing worth noticing transpires in the days after Christmas...especially in the world of sports, much less, college football. Maybe that's why this "incident" headlines all the blogs and "legitimate" media outlets.

Yeah, It was dumb...but dumb stuff happens all the time. I actually think, as a coach, you should be able to jump in and infulence at least one play a game...if you dare. When I watch this old clip of the 1959 Ole Miss/LSU "Halloween Run" game, I often hope that Rebel coach Jonhny Vaught will jumped out from the shadows and straight roundhouse kick LSU's Billy Cannon square in the larynx! (Thus preventing his game winning TD and preserving Ole Miss' outright mythical National Championship).

I mean, what would the officials honestly do about it? They're not going to award the guy a touchdown or anything. That'd be ridiculous (Unlike my sideline roundhouse kick to the throat) Yeah, if only we could witness a play like that...that would be something to blog about.

Note: The First SEC bowl game kicks off tomorrow (Praise Allah!), then we get an roman orgy of SEC games on 2K8 Eve + 2K8 Day. 6 to be exact. I'd be OK with this if they weren't overlapping (Two SEC games start during the 11am hour on January 1?!?). Anyway, here's your clear, concise, foofery-free Bowl Viewing Schedule. Enjoy yo-self...

[USAToday Bowl Schedule]

Another Note: Here's an extra special youtubes for those hooked on cocaine this holiday season...


[HT: Jim Halpert]

PWNED!

All-star reader and contributor, Darren hooked us up with another sparkling, Bama-related Gem. ("hot damn! more Tider content?")

Word on the street is the below billboard was erected by a bunch of studly University of Louisiana-Monroe Alumni. The fact that these boys (with the help of Hixson Ford, of course) ponied up 12 grand to stick it to Alabama is credit enough...



...but Major Credit for making every single die-hard Tider drive beneath this billboard on the way to their "bowl game"...




[HT: Darren - Verified by Hixson Ford of Monroe]