It's 10am and I'm Already Sick of Mack Brown's Step Son

This Video is So Hot Right Now


[HT: Awful Announcing]

Hope you had a wonderful christmas. Chris Jesse and ESPN can bite my ass. He didn't even touch the damn ball. Why do we care? It's not like that non-touch changed the outcome of the game. By the way, it was the freaking Holiday Bowl. It was not the Super Bowl or the NLCS. Don't compare this douche-nozzle to Bartman (like The World Wide Leader did). Don't be a prick. Lets move on to more important matters...

Oh wait. I forgot. The days between Christmas and the weekend seem to be the sweaty taint of the space-time continuum. Taint here, and cetainly taint there. Absolutely nothing worth noticing transpires in the days after Christmas...especially in the world of sports, much less, college football. Maybe that's why this "incident" headlines all the blogs and "legitimate" media outlets.

Yeah, It was dumb...but dumb stuff happens all the time. I actually think, as a coach, you should be able to jump in and infulence at least one play a game...if you dare. When I watch this old clip of the 1959 Ole Miss/LSU "Halloween Run" game, I often hope that Rebel coach Jonhny Vaught will jumped out from the shadows and straight roundhouse kick LSU's Billy Cannon square in the larynx! (Thus preventing his game winning TD and preserving Ole Miss' outright mythical National Championship).

I mean, what would the officials honestly do about it? They're not going to award the guy a touchdown or anything. That'd be ridiculous (Unlike my sideline roundhouse kick to the throat) Yeah, if only we could witness a play like that...that would be something to blog about.

Note: The First SEC bowl game kicks off tomorrow (Praise Allah!), then we get an roman orgy of SEC games on 2K8 Eve + 2K8 Day. 6 to be exact. I'd be OK with this if they weren't overlapping (Two SEC games start during the 11am hour on January 1?!?). Anyway, here's your clear, concise, foofery-free Bowl Viewing Schedule. Enjoy yo-self...

[USAToday Bowl Schedule]

Another Note: Here's an extra special youtubes for those hooked on cocaine this holiday season...


[HT: Jim Halpert]

Halftime Shows You'll Never See In The SEC

It's seems the Cal-Berkeley band took a break from its regularly scheduled show-tunes to indulge us in an admittedly kick ass cornucopia of 8-bit Nintendo theme songs and imagery. I have to say, it's quite an enjoyable stroll down memory lane.

This video brings to the forefront countless recollections of a mis-spent youth. Times when I should have been doing my homework, however, like any other young man who grew up on The Legend of Zelda, I could not rest until I made Ganon my bitch! Behold...



Here's another one that Texas put together in 2004 that features Cartoons/Video Games. There must be some pretty laid back band directors/geeks west of the Mississippi...

Sack-Up Saturday

"Hey Matty, guess what? The Trojans lost to Stanford, you got benched and WE'RE PREGNANT!"

Stanford Is Good

No wonder these 40 point Dogs beat the Preseason National Champion USC Trojans. Look at these scintillating Stanford stats (out of 119)...

Total Offense : 62
Scoring Offense : 87
Rushing Defense : 94
Pass Efficiency Defense: 116
Total Defense: 102
Scoring Defense: 102
Punt Returns : 92
Turnover Margin: 84
Pass Defense : 94
Passing Efficiency: 77
Sacks Allowed: 112

Wow, USC went and lost to a program that claims a damn tree mascot, and Stanford seems to care for football just slightly more than I care for blunt testicular trauma. It's not even a cool tree like a Sycamore or a Sequoia, it's just "tree." What a bunch of french fried homos. Way to ruin a USC vs. LSU national championship beatdown. (Amazing Box! 4 Picks for John Parker Wilson David Booty)

Speaking of LSU, Nice effin' game! One of the best I've seen. Everyone here needs to personally thank this 12th-year-senior LSU guy for suiting up and saving the SEC's hopes at a national title and making Tim Tebow cry his own tears of non-joy...


Jacob Hester - a middle aged man among boys

Craziness...Did you know that South Florida didn't even field a team back when Vanilla Ice was rollin' down A1A..."BEACHFRONT AVENUE," now they're gonna be top 5. College football is so fubariffic.


"Toss my Top 5 Salad, Saban!"

Mindless Morning Youtubery

Mascots Gone Wild

Thanks to Larry Brown Sports, we now know that The Oregon Duck mascot will be suspended for this weekend's home game against Fresno St. Apparently The Duck got disrespected by The Houston Cougar and was forced to regulate. No word yet on the involvement of drugs or alcohol. My take: Well, I think it's mighty convenient they waited to suspend this thug until after the big Michigan game. Crazy how he just happens to sit for a non-BCS, WAC opponent. Anyway, here's the incriminating evidence...

USC Honors Fallen Teammate

As most of you remember, Mario Danelo was the Southern California placekicker who died tragically on January, 6 2007, just days after The Rose Bowl. Starting the 2007 season, Pete Carroll and the Trojans found a special way to honor their teammate...



From Wikipedia:

Danelo was a walk-on college football player at USC in 2003. He redshirted his first year and did not have any kick attempts in the 2004 season. He earned an athletic scholarship starting in 2005. During the 2005 season, he set the NCAA, Pac-10 and USC Trojans season record for hitting 83 out of 86 PATs. In 2006, Danelo led USC in scoring with 89 points.^[3] During the 2006 season, Danelo made 15 of 16 field-goal attempts and 44 of 48 PATs.^[2] In his final game, the 21-year-old kicked two field goals in helping USC achieve victory in the 2007 Rose Bowl.^[1]

College Football Comic Strip?

Yeah, I stopped reading "the funnies" when The Far Side got canned or retired or whatever. By the way, The Family Circus can kiss my ass.

It would take something truly amazing to get me back reading that fish wrap they call the Sunday Comics. Much like this feature from The Auburner. Those guys are Hiiilarious. The Birmingham News would be wise to pick this up...

2004 College QB Reunion:

Les Miles: Poet Laureate

As you know, Les Miles isn't the boastful type. He's not one to toot his own horn, if you will. Even so, some of his lesser known qualities need not go without laud. It seems that we may have underestimated the brain behind the hat. Les Miles is not only a noted football strategist and prevayer of hip-hop joints, but apparently he has also been known to "bust a few rhymes" in a more traditional sense.

In this recent Superprep interview with a rising Mississippi running back, I feel that we get a little bit closer to understanding the genius that is Les Miles...

Who is coming after Johnson the hardest?

"Alabama and LSU. Alabama has been sending me a lot a letters about how their athletes get to live in their own apartments. LSU keeps sending me a lot a poems."

Wow. And I thought Poetry was a lost art in Deep South College Football. What a lucky young man this Johnson! I bet you readers would like to get your greasy little hands on a Les Miles original wouldn't you? Well...Today is your lucky day.

Bloggers Note: Some edits have been made to protect the innocent.

To A 5 Star Recruit:

Come Ball With Me

As I cruise through the swamp with its shadowy grass,
I dream of the gridiron and whoopin' some PAC-10 ass.

For your crazy skills, I impart mad props.
To have you on board, we'll pull out the stops.

Be it a Lexus, a 'Sclade or a Hummer Truck,
This is Louisiana. Nobody gives a F**k.

Your Momma like Ice? Don't throw them bows!
We'll even take care of yo chickenheaded hoes.

LSU is the s**t, of this I am certain,
You F with a Tiger, Yo ass I be hurtin'.

We play with the best, and dress you in styles.
So come ball with me, Les Mother F**cking Miles.

"Haha!" - Les Miles - Renaissance Man

Monday, Douchey Monday

Back from the Bachelor party and feeling fine. There's nothing that a sausage-fest in the mountains can't cure: A few dozen beers, trout and Deliverance jokes (do they ever get old? No). Now back to business...

As Orson alluded, this clip (HT: TheSportingOrange) should spread through the College Football Blogosphere like Paris Hilton Approved VD. It's no Diamonds from Glasgow (get out of their effin' way!), but it's got teeth. Teeth like say...vintage DC Talk. If you went to a private, caucasiancentric, churchy high school like mine, you can certainly relate to this esteemed level of turdulence.

I present to you Eastside Catholic High School - Seattle, WA (Cobain would be proud):


Catholic School ROOOOOOOCKS!