Jay Barker Marries Country Star over the Weekend, Works Monday Morning

Jay has obviously enrolled in the Tim McGraw School of Fashion

That's dedication. Jay was a little out of it on the radio this morning. Who wouldn't be, working the Monday after thier wedding on Saturday? WTF? (apparently he came in early and left at 8:30) Here's the best part of the wedding writeup in People...

"It was really very elegant, but Sara wanted it to feel like you were at her house," says friend and wedding planner Traci Phillips of The Perfect Party.

The bride and groom had their first dance to Chris Brown's "With You" and the 145 guests – including Sheryl Crow – boogied beneath a canopy of strung lights to a collection of R&B and pop hits spun by a deejay.

Yeah. Nothing says "elegant," Franklin farm wedding like a first dance to Chris Brown. ("I need ya boo...Gotta see ya boo"...When did Nashville become Hollywood Light?) Seriously, congrats to Jay, but I may not be first inline for his new single featuring Nelly.

Barker and Evans Try for Sloppy Seconds

Recently divorced Country music star (some might say MILF), Sara Evans and Birmingham's own recently divorced super-Christian tider idol/moring radio host, Jay Barker are betrothed to one another!!!! Yeah, Eileen Finan of People Magazine says these two recently divorced kids (with 7 kids between them) appear to be engaged...

A friend of the country singer confirms to PEOPLE that Evans and Jay Barker, a former football star at the University of Alabama who now hosts a sports radio show in Birmingham, are an item. "They are dating," the friend tells PEOPLE.

Evans, who turns 37 on Tuesday and whose divorce from Craig Schelske was finalized in September, appeared as an in-studio guest on Barker's show, "The Opening Drive" on WJOX, the day after Thanksgiving.

"They had been dating for a while, but she hadn't been on the show until then," a friend of Barker's says. "That was the announcement that they were together." Evans (who proudly wore a red Alabama T-shirt to a recent PEOPLE photo shoot) has called in to the show a few times since, and Barker has accompanied Evans on some of her tour dates.

Wait just one G.D. minute, ya dumb People bitch. "a red Alabama T-shirt"?! THE Color is Crimson. Sara bleeds Crimson now....Yankee skank. (First the Tuscaloosa PD and now People Magazine?)

Anyway, it should be interesting to see how this plays out. Why do you think these two recent divorcees were so quick to jump back in the commitment saddle? My guess, well, it's hard to really blame Jay Barker..."NO, I WILL NOT MARRY YOU...YOU ATTRACTIVE, RICH AND FAMOUS COUNTRY MUSIC LADY." As far as Sara goes, maybe Jay's monk like morals are making her a little crazy in the head. (does the whole "true love waits" thing apply to a second marriage?)

I don't know for certain that Jay is as pure as a Catholic priest like he purports to be on air, and exactly why his marriage ended (heard it was his wife's "personal trainer") we'll probably never know, but these skeletons in Sara's closet might be worth hashing out before the big day:

Divorce documents filed in Williamson County, Tennessee by Evans' estranged husband, Craig Schelske, accuse the singer of having close to a dozen affairs. The list includes singer/songwriter Richard Marx, country star Kenny Chesney, Dancing with the Stars partner Tony Dovolani, and the members of the rock band 3 Doors Down.

Yeesh. WTF? Richard Effing Marx? Really?? Of 1988's "Hold on to The Nights" fame? And Kenny Chesney? The biggest little poser douche in fake country? and the members (with a "s") of 3 Doors Down??? Wow.

What, did Michael Bolton pass on you, Sara? Was Kenny G busy that night? Did The Rascal Flatts gang-bang fall through? Obviously these are alleged allegations from her angry Ex, but even so, that's one hell of a random list and might merit a mention over milk and cookies with J-bone.

Edit: Whoops. The article I linked didn't have anything to do with their engagement. Here's that article.

In Honor of SEC Media Days

Stereotypes of The SEC

Thanks to super-badass reader Rocky, we can now cast our very own Deep South Simpsons. Early favorites are Tennessee, UK and of course my contribution with his hot new "got nick?" tee.


click to enlarge


Posting is gonna be damn near non-existent for the next week. Sorry, but we've got a pretty strong excuse. DeepSouthSports is getting married this weekend (I know, I know...I'm not earning any "Man Points"). DeepSouthSports will then be honeymooning in Jamaica.

Consider it the calm before the college football storm.

In the mean time, enjoy some of my fellow bloggers to the right and think fondly of me. I'll be sitting on some far away beach... drinking a "Dirty Banana" and pouring one out for my bachelorhood.

Bama Fan of the Week - Sponsored by "Freebird"

got twelve, mother effer!?!

James Walker and Francis Elizabeth Became of One Tide at Legion Field

If you do anything today, watch this classic video from Fox 6. In it, you'll see more stereotypes than you can shake a crimson shaker at:

• Matching mudflaps
• Crimson from head to toe
  
• Got twelve t-shirt
• Met on the internets (probably surfing at the same public library)
• James' left ear is twice the size of his right
• James has a sweet gold Bama chain
• Best man is wearing black sweat pants
  

It's rollin' baby - some things just can't wait for Gatlinburg

The Real Manning Bowl

Mrs. Manning - Draft Analysis

I would dare say that the football gods have smiled upon both Peyton and Eli Manning. Well, for Peyton it was a big toothy grin, while for Elisha it was more of a half-hearted smirk...Smiles none-the-less.

And yes, everyone in the civilized world has heard the stories of Football's First Family: The cute little pickup games in the front yard, sibling rivalry, the endless cheese-dick commercials. All that without addressing the central issue...

Eli's recent engagement now begs the question that's been on everyone's mind: Which Manning recruited the best Wide Receiver (read: Wife)? The better half? As Dr. Phil says, a quarterback is only as good the one receiving his passes.

Without further ado, here's the talent...

Eli Manning Drafts fiancee, Abby McGrew - Brentwood, TN (Ole Miss)



First Impressions: Ole Miss, Typical Fake-blonde, Cleavage Enhancing Sunglasses are always a plus, Standard Issue Grove Sorority Girl?

Turns out, L.C. Abby is a material girl. She's in the fashion industry, and she lives near/with Eli in New Jersey. She went to High School at the uppity Tennessee, Football Factory, Brentwood Academy south of Nashville, but she seems to prefers Steve Madden to John Madden (huh?). A common disinterest for sports must have brought these two together. But is she more than just arm candy?


Peyton Manning drafts wife, Ashley Manning - Memphis, TN (UVA)



First Impressions: Girl Next Door, Bring home to Momma, Smart, Wholesome

There has to be something wrong with this girl. From this article, you'd think she was mother Teresa, Erin Brockovich and Jessica Biel all rolled into one. This quote was particularly impressive:

"The way I really help Peyton is that I don't demand a lot of his time," she says. "He's willing to give it, but I'm not the type of person that is nagging on him. I think that helps him. He's able to do what he needs to do and I'm very independent. I do a lot of my own things."

That's some big talk, but can she back it up?


Draft Analysis:

I gotta go with Peyton's choice, Ashley. She's what I like to call an All-purpose wife. On paper, she's a can't miss prospect. She makes all the throws, plus she's been able to avoid the off-the-field issues that have plagued so many other big time wives. Not to mention that she's from my neck of the woods. M-Town. Memphis, Tennessee.

Eli's pick, Abby has all the physical tools, however she's unproven in the spotlight. If she can keep her head on straight during her rookie season and improve her technique, she has the potential to become a stable contributor for years to come. Case in point: McGrew has plenty of upside, but on the surface, she appears to be somewhat of a project pick.


experience trumps youth once again

Bama Fan of the Week

Does This Mean She ain't Pure?

Oh she's pure alright. Sheeeit yeah. Pure as the driven snow Crimson...Pure as The Bear...Pure as Conecuh Ridge Alabama Style Whiskey.

Brady of Springville and Carson of Athens are The Bama Fan of the Week. That's right..."Fan" singular. Because when you get married at Bryant Denny Stadium, two Tiders become one.

Don't be confused. They didn't have their reception at the home field of the Tide! That would be silly. They had the ceremony there.

This storybook couple met at Alabama Band-camp. Carson (the girl) played the mellophone (marching french-horn, of course), while Brady (the guy) played the tuba. So, what better place to get hitched than the newly expanded, upper deck luxury boxes of Bryant Denny called "The Zone." (Sounds a lot cooler than First Baptist Church, right?)

After saying their wedding vows, the couple left The Zone for about five minutes (obviously consumating in the mens room). No one was sure what would happen next.

They returned as Alabama's fight song played. The guests grabbed shakers and formed two rows for them to walk through.

Wow. Sounds like they rivaled the Federline wedding in the class department. Even so, it sucks for you. This was the first and last wedding in "The Zone." Mal Moore had to fire the event staff to pay Saban. Yeah, you might be cryin' now, but it'll all be worth it when The Tide wins that 13th Nashnal Champyunship.


I can't put my finger on it, but her dad looks drunk


Source: Decatur Daily

Rock Out With My Cock Out

Blake Mitchell Just Wants To Dance

Spurrier's leading man really likes the sauce. Apparently, he also likes the river dance. What s**t-faced, starting, SEC Quarterback doesn't? Blake Mitchell is seen below getting his swerve on at a recent wedding.

Not only is he set to be "The Man" when it comes to Spurrier's Cock-n'-Fire offense, but from the below photographic evidence, he also appears to be "That Guy." Yeah, Klick-Klack...


Spurrier says antiperspirant is gay



It's not his fault - Blake was entrapped in a "Ring of Dance"



Blake's working it so hard, the girl on the right appears to be removing her undergarments



I'm 95% sure this was the song playing during these pictures - Happy Weekend

Link: The Rant

Bama Fan of the Week

It's Wedding Season

For those of you that don't know me, I'm about to drop some truth on yo ass...

I'll be walking the plank late in July. Yes, I know. I know. Your daughters will just have to find someone else to love. It is time. I've found me a good woman, and she's stuck around even when she found out I was a -cough- blogger (oh, the shame). So I did the unthinkable! I put a ring on her finger.

Having said that, I can only hope that my wedding and/or marriage can rise above the lofty bar set by the below Alabama Fan. Yes, this fine specimen and his totally non-douche son share with us the tale of dad's storybook wedding and subsequent, never-saw-it-coming divorce. (Actually, the BFOTW's son just stands there, on camera with his crimson colored glasses, positively not looking like a douche bag)



Hat Tip: Jeffery at USC

Be sure to shoot me an email if you come across an amazing Bama Specimen. Never forget...You too can bring joy to dozens.