Showing posts with label NFL. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NFL. Show all posts

Sunday, February 3

That's Right...Eli Manning

18-1*


"Hi, my name's Eli, and I'm your gosh damn Super Bowl MVP"

Simply Brilliant!


Michigan's former backup quarterback seen here pooing himself

Did the SEC just embarrass The Big 10 once again? Congrats to the Giants. Best Super Bowl since Titans/Rams. Wow, Ole Miss' first Super Bowl MVP??? Yeah, pretty sure.

- Check here to see what is coming to be known as "Eli's Escape" (don't forget "Tyree's Trap" or whatever the hell you want to call it) and subsequent Plaxico Burress TD [AwfulAnnouncing]

- Check here for the official NFL Box [NFL]

Thursday, January 31

Mindless Morning Youtubery



It's really cool these days to be so over the media hype of the Superbowl, but I don't care. I embrace hype. Hype brings awesome drunks like Alana Colette Connell into our lives, or in the case of the Super Bowl, some crazed Mexican News-Skank in a wedding dress. Namely, Ines Gomez-Mont.

Yeah, you've all heard the story, but here's the video...



And I thought Peyton was the biggest media-slut in Glendale this week. "Losers" has more on this developing story.

Wednesday, January 23

Was Gregg Doyel Sexually Abused in Oxford?

vs.

It's pretty clear Gregg Doyel of Sportsline.com has a little something against the University of Mississippi, where he spent a portion of his childhood. He rants about Ole Miss' supposed shortcomings quite often.

Well, Dorky Doyel is at it again. This time, he's raking a great man over the coals because he can't think of anything else to write about. This weeks attempted victim is Archie Manning.

Doyel is quick to say, Archie shouldn't be stealing his son's thunder. He should just disappear...fade away...

"Archie didn't go away Sunday. He went front and center. On the biggest day of his son's athletic career, the day Eli Manning led the Giants into Lambeau Field and did what no team in NFL history had ever done -- beat Green Bay at home in a title game -- Archie Manning stole the spotlight. If there was another father in the Giants' locker room, I didn't see him. Then again, how could I? Archie was blinding.

He had accomplices, of course. Only the most brilliant thief does it alone, and Archie Manning, for all his football ability, has never been accused of brilliance. To dominate the room, the winning locker room immediately after the NFC Championship Game, Archie needed help. And he got it from the media, who saw him standing there and couldn't help but seek his opinion."

First off, bullsh*t on Archie "dominating the locker room." I sure as hell didn't even glimpse Archie Manning when the Giants were celebrating and accepting the NFC championship.

Even so, when my young, oft-maligned, NFL quarterback son goes and wins three road playoff games on the way to the gosh darn Superbowl, you better believe I'm gonna be right down there in his mug, getting emotional and patting him on the back. Sue me, toolshed.

I certainly wouldn't give a rats ass what some random bleach blond, pube-hair goatee sportin' scrotum has to say about it on Wednesday. In those crazed moments, when your baby boy just beat living legend Brett Farve...in his house... to win the conference...when it was negative cold as balls, you don't think about what the media might say...you're just there for your boy. Right where he wants you to be.
"Archie has gotten a lot of media mileage out of his kids. If this comes off as armchair psychology, so be it, but I sense something unfulfilled in Archie. He was one of the most talented quarterbacks of his generation, but he was stuck for most of his career on the horrible New Orleans Saints and never played in the postseason. He's not in the NFL Hall of Fame, and it doesn't look like he ever will be. As good as he was, he had disappeared from the NFL conversation."
Wow. Hate to be Debbie Downer, Gregg, but this is a little more armchair psychology for you: Maybe that "unfulfilled something" you sense in Archie, is Archie knowing that his own father was never around to congratulate or applaud when he did good. Archie was 19 when his father committed suicide.

Yeah, maybe he's holding on to his boy a little tight. Maybe he lingers a little long in the locker room. Maybe he cares a little too much. So what? Instead of thinking Archie is somehow envious of his son's successes, try and think about it this way: Maybe Archie's still trying to give his boys another experience he missed out on. Asshole.



To Catch a Predator much?

Tuesday, January 22

Mindless Morning Youtubery

How Bout Dem Nazis?

Click below to enjoy one of the best youtubes of this young year. By the way, congrats to Eli and his New York Giants (why does everybody always say "The New York Football Giants" anyway? Is there any other kind of New York Giant? Nobody ever says "The Arizona Football Cardinals"?!?).

Warning: lots of German cussing and NSFW subtitles, even so, it's worth it...


[kissmesuzy]

Friday, September 28

Wait Just A Gosh Darn Minute

Everybody knows the story of the Bills' Tight End Kevin Everett who had a spinal injury early in the NFL season. Well, thanks to this amazing video, we see that Evertt has made some inexplicable and miraculous progress...and has a police escort?...wait, why are they kicking him?



It's almost like the Station Manager said, "What do you mean you don't have the video?!? Get me some G.D. footage of a Black Man moving his arms and Legs!" Kinda like when they talk about obesity on the news, they just show random closeups of fat people's asses in sweatpants. It's the same thing really.

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Hat Tip: Uncle Rico's Time Machine