One of these massive gentlemen is a true-freshman OT hopeful while the other is a senior, first team All-SEC OT. Who's who? No cheating, a-hole.
Greg Hardy (86) motions as if to say, "Come hither, young quarterback...for this day, I dine on your soul!" In the background, Jerrell Powe (57) looks on as if to say, "Note to self: I heart Twinkies."
"Wonder what would happen if I ate my mouthpiece?"
Many douchebag cajuns seem to be taken aback by the supposed homoeroticism of the simulated QB/Center exchange prominently displayed on the cover of the SI CFB preview. WTF? Cause LSU fans are so manly and all...
Steele brings the funky knowledge that Lindy's and Athlon can only fantasize about. What I love about Phil's mag, is that in this day and age of extreme CFB oversaturation, where we pretty much know 5 minutes after our favorite safety prospect blows a .114 in a stolen car while driving without a license, and the mugshot is subsequently hitting 112 different blogs within the hour...In days where we get constant videos and in-depth reports of every springpractice and at least two first-hand accounts detailing any situation where a 4-star recruit may or may not be scratching his balls.
"Could it be Crabs?! Does his baby's momma know??"
In days such as these, I love that Phil Steele actually manages to tell me stuff I don't know about my team. You know...The one I'm obsessed with. The one I already spend countless hours wasting productivity senselessly studying and dissecting meaningless BS. And he does that for all 119 fanbases out there. Plus the neanderthal followers of Ohio State.
You gotta respect that.
I was at Publix yesterday picking up some bacon, and I happened upon Steele's SEC Preview. (I tried to finagle a copy a couple months ago "as an SEC blogger/promoter" but Steele's email Nazis weren't buyin' it...something about actually updating the site???)
Anyways, In his "Best Case/Worst Case" stat he talks about close wins and close losses from 2008.
I find it interesting that last season, Ole Miss' best case scenario was 13-0 (because the Rebs never got beat by a large margin) and our worse case was 7-6 (because they only won two close games: Ark and Florida)
On the other hand, Alabama's best case is 12-2 (their actual record) because they had two big losses to close the season. Their worse case was was 9-5 as they had three close wins (Kentucky, LSU, OM).
What are the chances of Alabama achieving their best case scenario again? Usually the truth lies somewhere in between worst and best. These people calling for Alabama to go 12-0 again (#5 in the coaches? how so?) are effing crazy. In my mind, they're like Mississippi state in 2008: The year before, all the breaks went their way, and they made the Liberty bowl. Well, the next year, the ball didn't bounce their way near as often. (4-8)
Ole Miss won 2 of 6 close games last season. Lets say win conservative 4 of 6 (.667) this season. I'd be ok with a 10 win regular season.
Again, if you want real insights into college football, look no further. If you want to rely on a bunch of glorified PE Teachers who don't watch the games, don't do their homework and most of the time don't even do the effing voting, check out the new pre-season USA Today Poll.
Who knew LSU students stopped listening to techno, drinking gasoline and gelling their hair long enough to come up with such an outstanding idea as this? LSU Nerds play Quidditch...
LSU offers many sports other than just football. Some involve a track or a court, but one unique sport requires a broomstick.
Quidditch was invented by British author J.K. Rowling in her Harry Potter book series. However, fans of the movie have taken this sport into their own hands— or, rather, feet—and made it come alive.
Last May, several students in the Honors College started an LSU Quidditch team. The original members were mainly Harry Potter fans, but the team has grown and includes a diverse crowd of about twenty members.
The LSU team hasn’t let the lack of flying broomsticks or a snitch stop them from a season of success, they’ve merely adapted to the muggle version—the game for non-wizards and witches. They run with broomsticks between their legs, but are still chasing after the snitch and heading toward the goals.
“Aside from the lack of flying, not much else is different than wizard Quidditch,” said Dustin Harless, Quidditch team president. “Muggle Quidditch has an additional bludger and the snitch is an actual person who evades the seekers.”
The snitch is picked based on his endurance and ability to run fast—he or she dresses in yellow and has a long sock with a tennis ball inside it tucked into the back of his or her shorts. The seekers must pull the sock out of the waistband without knocking the snitch off his or her feet.
“Since the snitch technically is not a person [in the original game], the snitch cannot be fouled, “said English senior Sarah Berard. “We do not have flying broomsticks…yet. We just keep the broomsticks between our legs at all times to keep the wizarding feeling a part of the game.”
Wow. It's all fun and games until someone gets a magical broomstick in the ass. Watch your cornhole, Tigers. Or maybe I'm missing the point.
WTF? Wait, LSU has an "Honors College"? I think that should be the real story here. Apart from the blatant nerdery mentioned above, this is far more disturbing. Honestly...What is required of an LSU student to gain entry into said honors college?
"Your academic marks and community service are unparalleled, Mr. Babineaux. Kudos to you, sir! However, before we can recommend you to the Honors College here at Louisiana State, we must have you, shotgun this pint of SoCo and slide tater-first across those Abita soaked tables..."
so expressive these Tigahs. Now here's some white lady goes all Emily Dickinson on yo ass...
An Ole Miss win? Who'd a thunk it? Looks like LSU just decided to chunk it! They booed Jarrett Lee And Jefferson wasn't the key- LSU clearly did flunk it!!
I'm looking for someone to blame I want no excuse that is considered lame. The whole game was bad Tiger fans are mad Cuz now Mud has to be our name.
Saturday Ole Miss played the best. I hate losing, it makes me depressed But you can book it that Anne Is a true Tiger fan- And next year will be a Tiger success!!!
- Anne S.
I feel your pain LSU fans. Mine was called "Ed 'The Shrimper'Orgeron."
At first, I thought this was one of those dumbass Buffalo Wild Wings commercials, but It's not...It really happened...
Suddenly, I'm hungry for some corndog nuggets
Yeah, there's really no way to shrug that off as "an accident," "the stupid new guy" or "a flashback to Nam." Watch it again.
Don't throw a forearm shiver to my chest and tell me you're "just doing your job," assface! Damn the man.
This play will go down in history as a rallying cry for all those who truly believe the officials are out to get their team. (like myself) That, or you'll forget about it tomorrow. Either way, it's awesomely bad.
Note to Self: Cancel vacation to Lake Maurepas, Louisiana then punch thyself in the face. Damn, this video gives me the willies. Nice mullet, Mom and equally excellent parenting. Also, who's the horn-dog creepster-trash working the camera? Hell. I wonder what the urine content of the water is near that sand bar. At least they're "keepin' it real" with the LSU flavored Rebel Battle Flag.
LSU's returning talent...Almost as scary as their returning fans
Highlights can always be a bit misleading because they're...well, highlights. But this video featuring the Tiger's returning talent is pretty convincing. Everything seems to hinge on the thug-life, Ryan Perrilloux and his status with the team, but all the other pieces seem to be in place for more stupid carnage this fall. (look at Byrd leave Castille in the dyst)...
Related: From The BCS Champs Trip to Washington...
President Bush poses with some random accountant?
Rumsfeld was no Demetrius Byrd
Miles is either not a fan of White House Architecture, or he's attempting to read
Drake Nevis contemplates what he will do to O-linemen next season
notice gun in hand as he hops the counter to get that meth money!
MOBILE, Ala. -- The Mobile County Sheriff's Office is seeking information on the whereabouts of a man wanted for Robbery First Degree.
At approximately 3:00 a.m., last Thursday, an unknown subject entered the GMart Shell Station at 6960 Theodore Dawes Road, brandished a handgun and demanded money from the clerk. After the subject obtained an undetermined amount of cash, he fled the scene on foot towards Sperry Road.
The subject is described as a white male in his mid 30’s, approximately 6’1’’ weighing 180 pounds, and was last seen wearing khaki cargo shorts and a purple Louisiana State University sweatshirt.
We've always known that LSU had the most "interesting" fanbase in the SEC, but I'd dare say that a certain segment of LSU fans are among the most horrendous athletic supporters on the planet.
Some LSU fans i've met are great (read: older, surviving LSU fans) however a ton of these young sidewalk types scare the ever living shit out of me! There's not a decent bone in their bodies. It's like they were born and raised literally on Bourbon street by ravenous wildebeests. Brought up on a steady diet of death metal, tatoo ink and methamphetamine. Like southern skinheaded vagabonds, these's zombies roam the streets of Louisana, seeking out innocent, unsuspecting flesh. You think I'm kidding? While I've never attended a game in Red Stick, for obvious reasons, every game I've attended that's involved LSU (whether it be a Sugar Bowl in New Orleans, Oxford or Auburn) I have nightmarish memories of these so called "fans." It's kinda like...you ever seen 28 Weeks Later?
Just watch it...then you'll know what it's like when "infected" LSU people take over your town.
This guy asked some locals for directions to Tiger Stadium
JaMarcus and His Amazing Technicolor Dream-Sweater
An up close photo of the Bama themed hubcap from a previous occasion - Apparently the "BAMA BOY" elephant went over so well, he decided to wear it again...to an LSU game...his Alma Mater [Hat Tip: Dave]
What the hell? Way to rep your state, Russell. Lesson #1: Just because it's expensive (as i'm sure the sweater was) doesn't exactly make it good. Hey, next time why don't you wear a Faberge egg on a chain around your neck? That would look just about as "gangsta" as your current get up. Damn, even Troy Smith is laughing at him, and that guy sucks.
Anyway, somebody finally uploaded the "interview" of Russell and Smith from the BCS Championship Game where JaMarcus attempts to speak English and rep his Crimson Tide...
"I haven't thought anything about what I might study," she has said. "I'll have to look more into that. But if I went anywhere, I think it would be fun to go to LSU."
Is anyone else confused? I guess confused is what being 16 and pregnant is all about. That or dumb (maybe that's where the GED comes in). Little Jamie Lynn is damn right "it would be fun to go to LSU," if by fun you mean conducting The Train at the DKE house. The last thing this girl needs is "fun."
Stick to Ole Miss, Jamie Lynn. You never seem to see pregnant girls at Ole Miss.
Maybe next time K-Fed and his 4 kids could do the Jumbo-Tron Hotty Toddy for the Rebs, or possibly Lindsey Lohan could "get caught" at Bungalow 8 snorting a line of blow with Eli. The promotional possibilities are endless. What better way to reach America's youth? Forget "US News and World Report"...Ole Miss is all about "US Weekly."
Cause sometimes you just need to honor a classic message board post that seems to capture the moment, and, ever so eloquently, sum up the thoughts of a fanbase. I'll never look at Bebe (The Orgeron's Cajun nickname) the same way. This post comes to us from an Ole Miss fan in anticipation of the "big CBS game" this weekend between his 3-7 Rebels and #1 LSU...not to mention the huge Egg Bowl coming up in Starkville.
Pissin' In The Hot Tub
We were drinking one night at an apartment complex in Starkville. One toolbag drunk kid who was friends with someone we were staying with has brought home a classic Starkville skank. She’s got a beer gut (with belly-button piercing), a bad blonde dye job, acne covered with caked on make-up, all the intelligence and charm of a cow patty and dresses in a manner that can best be described as 10 lbs of meat in a 5 lb sack. The guy has been talking s**t all night, trying to start fights, taking fruity shots and talking endlessly about how much of a badass he is and how much tail he can pull. He owns at least one windsuit and wears it on a regular basis, guaranteed.
They disappear from the apartment together. Later, we discover that they’ve stripped down and are getting down in the apartments’ hot tub. Upon seeing this display, my friend RW (smoked out of his brain) stumbles down to the side of the hot tub, largely unnoticed by the happy, naked couple. When the guy finally comes up for air, it’s too late. RW has dropped his pants and is taking a piss into the hot tub. They both freak out, jump out of the water and scurry off. RW shakes, zips up and goes back upstairs to puke in the bathtub and pass out.
LSU is the douchebag guy. The delusional legend of his own mind, drunk with his own perceived greatness (and lots of Hot Damn), but mostly just a pain in the ass to everybody else. State is the girl who lives with constant self-esteem issues, but covers it up with make-up and wine coolers. Every now and again, she stumbles upon someone whose beer goggles match her self-image. She sees such drunken hook-ups as validation of her beauty and the start of long-lasting happiness. However, it always ends in tears when everybody sobers up.
And then there’s us. Stumbling through life only half awake with nothing in front of us other than a fade to black until all the self-inflicted poisons wear off, so we can start the road to recovery. But, before our time is over, we can do the rest of the civilized world a great service by putting the annoying couple in their place.
For the rest of the season, it’s all about pissing in everybody else’s hot tub of love. It's time for Bebe to crank the shrimp boat up to ramming speed and take some of these assholes down with us.
- An Old Standard
Wow. It's like a suicide note and a Lou Holtz pep Talk all in one. It's a thing of beauty. Major credit, Mr. Standard. I'd start a slow clap, but I the whole slow clap thing is pretty gay these days (NTTAWWT).
For some ungodly reason, I don't record the local nightly news, cause it's a goldmine of blog fodder. Fox6 here in the Ham does my job for me. They go down to Tuscaloosa and seek out the most outstanding fans the SEC has to offer.
This video is noteworthy for many reasons. It's noteworthy because for one, the camera crew seems to overestimate LSU fans. The news crew actually stands next to a busy intersection in T-town and invites the inevitably foul interaction with those fans of battered, cased multi-meats-on-a-stick.
Sure enough, a Tahoe full of Tigers rolls by sporting the dreaded finger and a cordial "F*CK YOU!" to the live FOX6 viewership.
Not to be outdone by LSU, we are then introduced to a Tider aptly named "Cracker Waldrup" (I couldn't pretend to make that up) who communicates with LSU fans via paper plates. Yep...That's par for the course.
Then the classiest fanbase alive gets a strangely unneeded pep-rally on acting classy?!? All this thanks to a proud and tradition-rich youtube producer who goes by "Bama_12NC." Just perfect. Enjoy...
"We respect the other team's players and coaches. We support the Tide in positive ways for the entire game...or else we will lose nap time privileges."
I'm still trying to find a clip of Matt Flynn (or "Quinn" as some say) faking a knee injury give his equipment manager time to find him a new chin strap. Genius! Here's some other "action" from the weekend. Wait...LSU just got another penalty for "Actions Characteristic of a team Attempting to Prevent Bama From Being Back - Thirty Yards and Loss of Down"
Bama/LSU - Some great raw footage from The B-ham News...
What did I say about Arkansas? Them Hawgs is real son! Could Felix Jones (9.3 ypc) be better than McFadden (5.9 ypc)? The numbers seem to think so. (I know, I know hard to compare the different kinds of runners, blah blah, but still) Even so, maybe you should just check out this "Oops, I Crapped My Pants" 80 yard DMC touchdown run...
And to be fair, here's Felix Jones' equally shartastic Touchdown run...
Apparently the fourth Brady Bunch brother and his band of merry men have an opinion on this weekend's big LSU/Bama game. They decided that their opinion can best be expressed in song.
Most of the lyrics are your standard fare: "Beat Bama," "We're #1 and We're Comin' for you," However, there are some lyrics, frankly I'm gonna need a little help with (seriously, help me out)...
"The Nor-zona Fans In Death Valley...Shootin' Salads, All of Yoooou..."
Has there ever been more emotion and ill-will leading up to a regular season football game than the one about to take place in Tuscaloosa this weekend? I'm thinking there might be a few fights and a little violence in T-town. (Should I go document it?)
Also, I love the switch-a-roo that's taken place. Is it possible that Les Miles is seen as "the good guy" this weekend? Is anybody outside of Tider-nation really routing for Bama and The 4 million Dollar Man? Will Saban claim a victory for himself no matter the outcome? (he is of course the architect of all LSU victories, past, present and future - any recruit knows that)
Speaking of violence, I damn near hate-fisted my printer after watching the below LSU/Bama 2007 promo. It's that good...
1) LSU - Not even the chosen one could stop them! No, these Orcs are born of earth and fire and they feed mercilessly on the sorrows of Southern Cal. Resistance is futile.
2) Florida - Still a complete team...Maybe they just needed a good cry. Do Tebow's tears still cure cancer after two consecutive losses?
3) Auburn - The other Tigers have found their offense. Don't care who you're playing, if you go into half up 28-0, you're doing things the right way.
4) South Carolina - Cocks have the second best record in my top four, but they haven't beat any of the above teams, and they certainly didn't play as well as Florida did down in Red Stick.
5) Kentucky - Woodson looked not good vs. USC last Thursday. Me thinks it was the rain. Even so, the Wildcats dropped a messy deuce for all the college football world to see. It's gonna stink for a few weeks. (ask: Auburn)
6) Tennessee - Where the hell did this come from? The Vols pulled some defense out of their asses and went into the break up 28-0? Could Coach "Does less with more" be turning a corner?
7) Arkansas - 0-2 in the SEC. Lots of Hawgs fans wanna Get Rid of dat, dat...dat Nutt. They're even making signs.
8) Georgia - Why does Georgia always seem to underachieve? Maybe they've got better years ahead with Stafford, but they just always seem to lose a game they shouldn't. Just can't seem to put all the pieces together and play like the top 5 team that their talent suggests. Could it be coaching?!? [/blasphemy]
9) Alabama - Didn't get to watch this Homecoming game with Houston, but from what I've heard, If you put another minute on the clock, Houston spoils the post game trip to the Bear Bryant Museum.
10) Mississippi State - 4 wins. If you stopped the season today, this is already MSU's most successful campaign since Y2K. To bad their's no more cupcakes to snack on. Bulldogs play three straight ranked teams starting this weekend with the newly impressive, but still fairly suspect Vols.
11) Vanderbilt - Got spanked by Auburn. It's looking like another 4 win season in Nashville. Let's face it...If you can't get to the promise land (Shreveport) with Jay Cutler, well...Chris Nickson is certainly no Tee Martin.
12) Ole Miss - The Rebs will remain in this prestigious spot until Orgeron defeats someone with a pulse. By pulse, I mean a team who's sniffed a bowl game in the last decade. The Rebs shutout the Mighty Louisianna Tech Bulldogs...24-0, but it was most likely the ugliest 20 point shutout on record. Rebs threw three picks and La Tech won pretty much ever statistical catagory, other than score of course.
