Bama Fan of the WTF?

So she's no Alana Collette, but that sure is a Bama "script A" (see: the Atlanta Braves original) on this young perpetrator's right cheek. Thanks to the keen eye of reader Joe Blow, we get this perplexing young lady, fresh from The Smoking Gun.

The website gives no real explanation, but we all know that a Bama tattoo, no matter how temporary, is considered probable cause for Meth abuse in 7 states and West Virginia. Ask a lawya.

If you're drunk, don't blow...and if you're tweakin' on hillbilly heroin, tell that pig "I'm obviously a Vandy alum and will have your badge if you continues this backtalk. And get your effing hands off my Trans-Am."

It's common sense really. RTR!!!

By the way, had to give credit to this stud from the same series...


Bama's sleeper linebacking sensation, LaPervis Griffin looks on

Saban Frees Up Another Scholarship, Process Continues

Johns, Jimmy Wesley

Warrants

ID Number Issued Charge 100081495 TR0716971 03/04/2008 Seat Belt Required 100081496 TR0716972 03/04/2008 Driving While Suspended

Arrests

Agency BondType BondAmount Sequence Charge TCSO $20,000.00 1 Poss of Cocaine TCSO $20,000.00 5 Unlaw dist. cont. substance {13A-12-211} {Class: 2F} TCSO $20,000.00 6 Unlaw dist. cont. substance {13A-12-211} {Class: 2F} TCSO $20,000.00 2 Unlaw dist. cont. substance {13A-12-211} {Class: 2F} TCSO $20,000.00 3 Unlaw dist. cont. substance {13A-12-211} {Class: 2F} TCSO $20,000.00 4 Unlaw dist. cont. substance {13A-12-211} {Class: 2F}

[tuscaloosa county sherrif's office, arrest database]
[al.com story]
[ESPN - Bama linebacker Johns charged with selling cocaine, possessing Ecstasy]

Saban sits in his home-office tapping his finger-tips together, Mr. Burns style, as he unleashes a maniacal, Napoleonic laugh.

"THOSE IMBECILES! I told those newspaper imbeciles that these scholarships were taken care of, DIDN'T I! Ha Ha Ha! What's the loss of a few bricks from my personal stash? There's more yayo where that came from. Don't worry your pretty little head, Ter-Bear. And to think, he was so easily and seamlessly framed. What can I say? I'm THE KING OF THIS STATE!!! I'm the f&%king 4 Million Dollar Man! I'm Nick Saban, Bitch. Ha ha!

WHOOPS! So Sorry, Jimmy. Sorry you had to go down like that, but selfish, thuggish backups such as yourself are a-dime-a-dozen and clearly...so easily disposed of.

TERRY...WHERE'S MY F*&KING GREY SPORT COAT!?! F%$k! I've gotta go do some "damage control"...you know trot out my classic "Relative to Character and The Process" speech and blame it on Shula. HA HA HA HAAAAAA! I F*$KING LOVE MYSELF!"

UPDATE: "And poof. Just like that, he's gone." via ESPN...

It didn't take Alabama coach Nick Saban long to react; he dismissed Johns immediately.

"This type of behavior obviously will not be tolerated, and he is no longer a part of our program," Saban said in a statement.

Johns is the 10th Alabama football player arrested within the last year. (Not including "The Snake" RTR!!!!!1)

Saban's Character Recruit Arrested?

Luckily, It's Just a Two-Star


Photocredit: Tuscaloosa County Jail - Jeremy Elder - DE - Tide

Clearly the Barner presence on the Tuscaloosa and University police force is stronger than once thought. Because we all know that Saban only recruits character players, and redshirt freshman, Jeremy Elder was very clearly one of Nick's first non-Shula related commitments. It appears that former 2-star Elder, of beautiful and completely safe College Park, GA, has been arrested and charged with two, 5-star quality felonies...

TUSCALOOSA | University of Alabama football player Jeremy Elder was arrested Sunday and charged with two counts of first-degree robbery, The Tuscaloosa News has learned.

According to state law, first-degree robbery involves either a “deadly weapon or dangerous instrument” or someone causing “serious physical injury to another.” Both charges are Class A felonies.

I'm sure Saban will have a few strong words with all the attorneys, judges and police involved and quickly straighten out this obvious case of mistaken identity. The fact that Elder was recruited by a high-character guy like Nick Saban should certainly be alibi enough.

In the off chance that these charges are legit, Welcome to the thick of the Fulmer Cup Leaderboard, Bama (6 points). Recruiting isn't the only prestigious off-season National Championship. Just another reason why Bama's that much closer to being back.


[HT: Brian]

Update: Elder admits to the burglary and a lack of character [al.com]

Separated at Birth?

Blake Mitchell Edition

Mitchell has been in the blog news a good bit lately, and after seeing his mugshot from last season's bar fight, I knew I'd seen his likeness somewhere before. Hmmm, Yes.

Meesa thinks we have a match...



It's Jarring