Who Wouldn't Want to Spend 5 Years With Nick Saban?

When Saban doesn't get a recruit, he in no way acts (or looks) like a spoiled seven-year-old, deprived of his "woobie."

As few may know, yesterday was the first day of spring practice for the Ole Miss Rebels, which was open to the public. It just so happens that somehow Beast/Child 5-Star Hargrave recruit, Bobby Massie was in attendance, on the sidelines with the Rebel proletariat.


cameraphone-o-graphic evidence of the aforementioned beast (provided by crazed Rebel fan)

Naturally, Bobby was assaulted with fanboy questions. However, one question in particular yielded some interesting bits of tid:

He was asked to give a good Nick Saban recruiting story, and he had a pretty good one to say the least. Bobby said he called Coach Saban the night before signing day to let him know that he was going to sign with Ole Miss. Bobby did not even inform the Ole Miss staff that he was going to be a Rebel until the night before signing day, per Bobby, but he did say, "I had a pretty good idea where I was going in December."

Anyway, Bobby calls Nick and Coach Saban stops him before he tells where he is going and said this, "Bobby, do not even tell me where you are going, because if you are not going to Alabama I am turning you into the NCAA. You know you have a chance to start at Alabama at right tackle as a sophomore, and nobody would turn that down unless they did something illegal."

Bobby was stunned. He said he just listened to Coach Saban rant and never said another word about it. He was offended to say the least. That is why he made such a scene at the press conference when he threw the Alabama hat on the ground and put on an Ole Miss hat.

"A chance at starting Right Tackle as a Sophomore with the ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDE"!!! Excuse me while I soil myself. How did Massie ever resist that tricky little leprechaun?

Damn it's a great time to be a college football fan in the South. Especially with Dr. Evil living and working just down I-20/59. Even though Nick closed out with one of the strongest signing days in the nation, apparently the world is not enough to satisfy the Prince of Darkness.

[Note: I've confirmed the validity of this "rumor" with the source, as it was told, by Bobby, to a dozen or so fans/media at the first spring practice.]

Update, March 3: According to Ian Rapaport, Bobby denies it...Kinda. He admits he's read the post, but he doesn't go into detail about what is true or false. He does admit talking to Saban the night before signing day (like it says above), and he does admit that he never told Saban he was going to Ole Miss (like it says above). He just says "my words got switched around," so take that for what it's worth.

Sounds to me like someone at Ole Miss asked Massie to kindly "shut up" and put this in the past. I'm thinking young Bobby just learned a valuable lesson in fan/media relations.

Bama Fan of the Week

The Ad Wizard that came up with this new "Got Recruits?" tee...



[bamafever]

Apparently, I've got "the bamafever," because my skin is crawling, my head hurts and think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. I don't even know where to start with this sad shit. Who are the assholes that think this up so their fellow sick, dumb assholes will shell out $20 that we all know should be going to delinquent child support payments?

Long Overdue Public Service Announcement: Decent Bama alumni and fans...We all know one or two of you. People with jobs, morals, direction, an ego that's not based on the merits of a long dead football coach and a foundationed home...this is why your fanbase gets made fun of. It's not you...I'm not attacking you. I'm attacking the redneckery, the ignorance, the tardedness (if you will) that causes every damn resident of this state to be perceived as an extra in My Name is Earl. They are why this state is bottom five in obesity, infant mortality, gross income, chromosomes...damn near every gosh damn measurable imaginalbe. It just so happens that 99% of these half-wit, chain smoking, hairy assed, child molesters root for your team. Do not take offense...enjoy it with us. (we laugh to keep from crying, friend)

Back to the shirt...This is a classic trait of the Bama fan. They don't have a damn thing "on the field" to brag about. But they do. They can't help themselves. It's part of their redneck entitlement of being born in "Alabama the Beautiful" during Bear Bryant's living years. They just know they're better than you. (They don't let just anybody drive a fork-lift, you sum-a-bitch)

Ok, so they're bragging...about recruiting. It's one thing to be excited about the future...but to attempt to tell your rival, who has knocked your dick in the dirt 6 years running..."Fear The Future"? That's impressive. Future smack is my favorite kind of smack. "What you gonna say when we beat that ass, huh?" "Hmmm...we'll cross that bridge if/when we come to it, Douchey Doucherton."

This type of back-talk runs rampant on the interwebs and message boards...mostly perpetrated by recent pubescents who are experimenting with ill-advised, and utterly pointless "nut-flexing." However, white trash of all ages is certainly not immune to this form of vicious smack.

Tee shirts that brag are bad enough...Tee shirts that brag about how many 17 and 18 year old boys that a coach of some team you "claim" can attract is a whole nother level of "dumb as hell." The really sad part...this BS probably makes money.

So, Bama alumi and fans, when you see your favorite "friend of the university" git'n-er-done on gameday in one of these turdulent tee-shirt, don't hang your head...just laugh along with the rest of us.

Better yet, take a picture and sent it in. Join the team. Email's on your right.


These gentlemen pre-ordered that ass


[HT: Makeitblue and Someonestolemyusernamedamnit]