First off, I can handle "Mark", "Marc" or even "Marcus", but some of these baby's mommas is going too far! And we've all heard the stories about the girl named "Africa" (pronounced a-freak-a) and that unfortunate soul named "Shithead" (known as Sha'thead).
Gentlemen, I feel your pain. My parents wanted to be different as well and went with "Erik" instead of the obvious choice, and I don't think anyone has ever got it right. Ever.
To try and help these new players out, we are going to dive head first into this mess. These are the very special names you will hear everybodies favorite, Dave Rowe tripping over for the next 4 or 5 Years on JP. I've tried to find at least one from every SEC school and they're in no particular order. Enjoy.
Labronski Hutchins - LB - Alex City, AL - He's the Polish Labron James...of Football
DeMarcus Love - OL - Dallas, TX - Our first variation on Mark plus yesterday was V-day, how cute
JerMarcus Ricks - DT - Leighton, AL - The Tigers didn't have much but it's Mark-tastic
Wondy Pierre-Louis - DB - Naples, FL - Somehow i don't think Wondy is French
Markihe Anderson - DB - Ft. Myers, FL - We are all now dumber for having read that (edit)
Kiante Tripp - OL - ATL - Hmmm, I'm guessing Momma's Drink of Choice?
Jo'Dane Craigman - DL - Ukiah, CA - Jo'Momma did what?
LaRay Foote - ATH - Memphis, TN - In Spanish we learned that "La" is feminine, Mrs. Foote must have skipped that day
LaShun Watson - WR - Greenville, GA - LaWhy?!?
LaZarius Levingston - DL - Ruston, LA - I feel like I'm taking Crazy Pills
Shomari Clemons - DB - West Monroe, LA - I liked it the first time when it was called "Jumanji"
Markeith Summers - WR - Olive Branch, MS - Screw Double names! Just Mash 'em together
Chasman Davis - LB - Fort Pierce, FL - Cause Jasmine would have been too girly
Captain Munnerlyn - DB - Mobile, AL - Better than "Boss", "Champ" or "Mister"
Vandaral Shackleford - LB - Riverside, GA - Vandal? Shackle? Are you Related to Marcus Vick?
LaMarcus Thomson - LB - Stone Mountain, GA - I'm Starting to see a pattern develop
Marquez Hall - DB - Tuskegee, AL - pronounced "Mar'quwez" It's Spanish
Kikko Logan - LB - Elba, AL - All of this starting to make perfect sense!
My Final Thought: It doesn't matter the prefix or the spelling, cause Mark and Marcus are winners! Hook your fetus up with one of these gems (all found in the Class of 2006) and don't even bother saving for college:
Marckus, DeMarcus, JaMarcus, JerMarcus, LaMarcus, Markieth, Markihe and Marquez
Wednesday, February 15