Tuesday, October 30

Erik's SEC Power Poll Ballot

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Tebow wept when he saw this must have bumper sticker

1. LSU - The only consistently high quality team in this FUBAR conference.

2. Auburn - Offense is still a little pussified with Cox at the helm, but the the defense is outstanding. I'm not yet sold on the genius that is Will "M. Effing" Muschamp, but I will say that he has earned his effing pay this season.

3. Georgia - I was wrong about dem Dawgs. That's right, I said it. They are a perfect example of this ass backwards league. Dawgs get up for the big game, but only beat Vandy by a field goal? I'll say that UGA's final tally certainly got some Auburn fan's attention. Way to get that rabid gorilla off your back, Richt.

4. Arkansas - Nutt's boys haven't beat anybody with a pulse, however the Hawgs could easily win the next three over UT, USC and MSU. Does 8-4 save Nutt? Doubt it. "Does Erik know something that we don't about Arkansas?" Yes.

5. Alabama - What happens when you take the most talented team in the country at damn near every position and give them a crazy-assed, huge-headed coach and a legitimate reason to hate you? You get some VIOLENCE Going down in T-town! This weekend, will we see the Bama team that lost to Florida State or the Bama team that owned Tennessee? I'm pretty sure I know what Bengal Tiger team we're going to see.

6. Florida - Urban's boys look downright human. Has Yahweh forsaken Tebow? Did all those ungodly Florida funbags finally cause Tim to sin? The Gates Defense seems like a unit that lost damn near every starter from 2006. As they should.

7. Vanderbilt - What the hell do we know about Vandy? Um...They're pretty good I guess. You could easily interchange any team from 3 to 10 on the ranking without raising any eyebrows. If you didn't know any better, you might say "Holy Crap. Vandy is 1 win away from a bowl eligibility!?!" On the not so bright side, 3 of those last 4 teams are ranked and the other is Kentucky (UT, UF and Wake). Ouch.

8. Tennessee - The SEC East insanity cycle is complete. UF murders UT, UT bloodies UGA, and UGA shocks UF. FUBARific.

9. South Carolina - "Mr Fulmer, would you like to donate to the 'Thank you Ryan Succop for missing that relatively painless overtime Field Goal and therefore allowing for me to retain my position as Head Football Coach at the University of Tennesee along with my all expense paid membership to the Jelly Donut of the Week Club Fund?' Ok...Will you be giving one million or two?"

10. Mississippi State - Getting "Croomed" starts to lose its meaning when Coach Crooms is on the verge of a bowl season. I hear Shreveport smells beautifully in mid. December.

11. Kentucky - Losing to Mississippi State by 17 kinda puts a damper on your Heisman Campaign (as does 3 INTs).

12. Ole Miss - Brent Schaeffer comes off the bench in Jonathan Moxon-esque fashion to lead the Rebs down the field in the second half for the tying score!?! Not quite... Schaeffer moves the ball brilliantly for sixty yards only to throw a boneheaded m. effin' pick in the endzone. Haha! Touchback. Auburn touchdown. Game over: 17 - 3. Status Quo. Moral Victory??? You're damn right. Auburn didn't cover the spread did they, a-hole?

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CONFIDENCE: When You've Got It, It Shows (photocredit: James Bryant)


  1. which bengal tiger team is that?? the one from the first half of the tulane game?? or the one from the first half of the va tech game???

  2. Obviously, I was talking about The Bengal Tiger team from the 3rd quarter of the Middle Tennessee game. Try and keep up.