Friday, February 5

Blogging: My Evil Temptress

I've been meaning to do this for a while. Previous readers have inquired, "what has happened?"

some light background music while this post melts your face

As I browse through the frivolous, detached good times I've enjoyed at this URL since 2006, there are many things I will miss about blogging.

The creative outlet, the cordial back-and-forth amongst fans, the ivory tower from which to objectify coaches wives, embarrass young athletes and shed a penetrating light on the glut of chromosomally-challenged Tiders. Wow. That stuff was a veritable Jelly-o-the-Month-Club (the gift that keeps on giving, all the year round. AKA: comedic gold), but I digress.

I started this gig, a young buck of 25. I was recently unemployed and some might say rudderless. I was looking for an avenue; a reason to get up before 11am. Blogging was my full time job, and I pumped out one, maybe even two blog posts a day, mind you. We're not talking, "Here's a funny youtube clip of another drunk bama skank". We're talking in-depth opinions, actual thought and a lot a "Top Ten" lists. (always a crowd pleaser)

Then things took off. Finebaum took notice, Matt Stafford happened, Alana Collete Connell, Saban, BFOTW, etc. Business was good. Real good. I even earned a few psychotic, comment stalkers and over 1K hits per day.

Did I say good? Actually business was not good, because minor-league blogging doesn't pay.

Call me the "Crash Davis" of the Blog-o-sphere.

Yeah, I was in the show. I was in the show for 21 days once - the 21 greatest days of my blogging life. You know, in the show you never ask to come on Finebaum's show, somebody calls and asks you. It was great. You get linked on deadspin like every other day, your comment threads take on a life of their own, the hotels all have room service, and the women all have long legs and brains.

Ok, those last two don't apply. Even so, it was time to move on. My life was changing and the blog suffered. But instead of putting DSS out of its misery, signing the DNR and getting on with life, I drug things out. Clinging to the good ole days, like some pseudo-journalistic Brett Favre type asshole.

To do this thing right, it has to be your calling, your lifestyle. Unfortunately, that lifestyle doesn't play nice with the non-internet world: A career, a wife, a kid, not being fat. Something had to give. It was fun while it lasted, but as you know, all good things...

So here we are, saying "good bye". Let's be honest. We've all seen this post coming. It's a mere formality now. Some call it "closure".

Don't think you've heard the last of me though. I'll be around. While you're here, visit the "Best of" DSS to your right and remember me fondly.

In closing: The original BFOTW Stud, looking not awkward

Wednesday, September 9

Bama Fan of the Week

As if this party wasn't already white-trashy enough...


Thursday, August 13

Who's the Freshman?

Shots from Ole Miss Two-A-Days

courtesy of the fine photographer at

One of these massive gentlemen is a true-freshman OT hopeful while the other is a senior, first team All-SEC OT. Who's who? No cheating, a-hole.

Greg Hardy (86) motions as if to say, "Come hither, young quarterback...for this day, I dine on your soul!" In the background, Jerrell Powe (57) looks on as if to say, "Note to self: I heart Twinkies."

"Wonder what would happen if I ate my mouthpiece?"

Many douchebag cajuns seem to be taken aback by the supposed homoeroticism of the simulated QB/Center exchange prominently displayed on the cover of the SI CFB preview. WTF? Cause LSU fans are so manly and all...

I guess you could call that "manly," in a way

Wednesday, August 12

The Kige Party

Phil Steele's Daddy Gives His SEC Picks

Wow, Kige. Don't ever let anyone tell you those dramatic, mind-numbing pauses aren't killer! And just for the record, I believe Alabama likes to be called "the Crimson Tide"...there was no need for a dramatic pause right there, but you pulled it off beautifully.

Damn you, Kige! Just when I thought everything was going The Rebels' way (Phil Steele's pick, the SI cover, Massie and Tig are in, ) you throw the old wet blanket Ole Miss' season. Talk about locker room material.

Tuesday, August 11

Stud Bama Fan of the Week

A reader submission, captured in the wild...

Daniel says, "note the hair"

How could I not note the hair? An impressive specimen indeed. RTR!!!!1

Two posts in one're welcome.

"More Hype, Please"

Sports Illustrated - click for a better version and more regional covers

I'm thinking it's time to just embrace the hype with open arms. There's no use fretting over stuff like this anymore ("Does the SI Curse apply to regional covers, or is that the Madden curse?") Be it the top 10 Coaches/SID ranking, the Houston Nutt cover or the reality show. At this point, does it really matter? When does the law of diminishing returns take hold? Maybe Ole Miss goes all "Princess Bride" on that ass. Rebs are to Hype as Westley is to iocane powder.

Bama Fans: "Another cover for Ole Miss? Inconceivable!?!"

["Inconceivable?" Who am I kidding. In the interest of authenticity that caption should read something like "Ole Pi$$?!? Bauuull-****!!! Hey, shut dat damn baby up, I's tryin' to cook meth in here, ya b***h!"]

Saturday, August 8

Phil Steele: Pre-Season God Of Obsure Stats

Steele brings the funky knowledge that Lindy's and Athlon can only fantasize about. What I love about Phil's mag, is that in this day and age of extreme CFB oversaturation, where we pretty much know 5 minutes after our favorite safety prospect blows a .114 in a stolen car while driving without a license, and the mugshot is subsequently hitting 112 different blogs within the hour...In days where we get constant videos and in-depth reports of every spring practice and at least two first-hand accounts detailing any situation where a 4-star recruit may or may not be scratching his balls.

"Could it be Crabs?! Does his baby's momma know??"

In days such as these, I love that Phil Steele actually manages to tell me stuff I don't know about my team. You know...The one I'm obsessed with. The one I already spend countless hours wasting productivity senselessly studying and dissecting meaningless BS. And he does that for all 119 fanbases out there. Plus the neanderthal followers of Ohio State.

You gotta respect that.

I was at Publix yesterday picking up some bacon, and I happened upon Steele's SEC Preview. (I tried to finagle a copy a couple months ago "as an SEC blogger/promoter" but Steele's email Nazis weren't buyin' it...something about actually updating the site???)

Anyways, In his "Best Case/Worst Case" stat he talks about close wins and close losses from 2008.

I find it interesting that last season, Ole Miss' best case scenario was 13-0 (because the Rebs never got beat by a large margin) and our worse case was 7-6 (because they only won two close games: Ark and Florida)

On the other hand, Alabama's best case is 12-2 (their actual record) because they had two big losses to close the season. Their worse case was was 9-5 as they had three close wins (Kentucky, LSU, OM).

What are the chances of Alabama achieving their best case scenario again? Usually the truth lies somewhere in between worst and best. These people calling for Alabama to go 12-0 again (#5 in the coaches? how so?) are effing crazy. In my mind, they're like Mississippi state in 2008: The year before, all the breaks went their way, and they made the Liberty bowl. Well, the next year, the ball didn't bounce their way near as often. (4-8)

Ole Miss won 2 of 6 close games last season. Lets say win conservative 4 of 6 (.667) this season. I'd be ok with a 10 win regular season.

Again, if you want real insights into college football, look no further. If you want to rely on a bunch of glorified PE Teachers who don't watch the games, don't do their homework and most of the time don't even do the effing voting, check out the new pre-season USA Today Poll.

LSU at #9 above Ole Miss, really??

Monday, August 3

"The Blindside" Trailer - Don't Cry at Work

I'm somewhat impressed. I thought it would be a trainwreck, considering Orgeron is directly involved. He doesn't exactly have the Midas touch when it comes to acting or, well talking. Who knows though. Trailers can be very deceiving.

The director and producers didn't seem too overly concerned with messy details like authenticity and realism since they filmed the "true story" of a kid from Memphis and Ole Miss in Atlanta and GA Tech. However I'm sure the ghettos of Atlanta are pretty much interchangeable with crapholes of Memphis. The only part of Briarcrest Christian School (my high school's rival/bitch) that comes through on the big screen is their colors ("Crusaders" or "Saints"...same thing).

I'm wondering what Michael Lewis thinks about the fluffization of his best selling novel, other than "Dolla, dolla billz, yall" cause no matter what, it's gonna make some serious cash...a la Paul Blart, Mall Cop "We are...Marshall."

Alright, count me in, and bring the Kleenex.

Thursday, July 23

Man of the People

"F%$& that, lady. No, I will not shake your icky, nicotine encrusted, yellowy hand. Although, I looove that purse...where did you get it!?!"

"Welcome to The Nicest Hotel in Birmingham, AL"

"Congratulations...You've got lice."

hat tip: Team Speed Kills

Overheard in the lobby of The Wynfrey at Media days:

"Is you still a virgin if you sex ur sister?"

Need more pictures of unemployed media day groupies.