Friday, September 29

Fotoshop Friday and The National Blogpoll

A Twofer!

This one took me a second - Classic! - Found on

- The ACC finally gets a team in the top 10...Yep, it's the Hokies (who knew they would dominate this league?)

- It's been nice, TCU. Maybe next year you'll play in a pseudo-meaningful bowl. (losing a single game, when outside of the Power conferences, is a death sentence. If you're Notre Dame, you can lose at least 3 games and make a BCS bowl. Them's the rules)

- Another great weekend of SEC action. I'd take anything after last weekend's girly little lineup.

UT @ Memphis - 11am on ESPN - Memphis won this game for the first time eva, a decade ago at the Liberty Bowl. Will lightning strike twice?...No. UT covers big.

LSU @ MSU - 11:30am on JP/LF - MSU lost to Tulane, 32-29 and Tulane lost to LSU, 49-7 = Fugly day for The Black Coaches Association of America. LSU covers.

Bama @ Florida - 2:30pm on CBS - The Big Rematch! Two offensive masterminds: Urban Meyer and Mike Shula. Well, I thought Florida would kick there ass last year, but we all know the drill: 31-3 and Bama's Back! This is the first bowl elidigble team (from 2005) that Bama has faced, and by far the best defense. F it, I'm still gonna say that this will be the second signature loss for Shula in as many weeks.

Georgia @ Ole Miss - 8pm on ESPN2 - Georgia wins pretty big but doesn't cover (-19). Ole Miss will bench Schaeffer in favor of his walk-on, back up, Seth Adams who actually has decent showing.

Central Time Zone (the official time zone of SEC football)

"Cliiick Claack"

You ever noticed when someone is just out of their element?

For example: A rural...lets say...Arkansas born, 52-year-old, white guy in a commercial targeted toward hip, urban athletes and semi-pubescent, suburban douche bags.

Sweet, Tell me more!

Well, it's not like George Dubbya was asked to present at the BET awards with Kanye or anything, but it still makes us (Southern Honkies) look really awesome!!!

That might be why Under Armour seems to have pulled this Tubtastic version of their latest footwear promotion.

You know what would be a cool new tradition for Auburn (Kinda like "The Jungle"). Fans could start greeting each other with "Cliiick, Clack," instead of that silly "War Eagle." It's only fitting since Auburn sold their soul to Satan. They pretty much shat on tradition and the community (Russell Athletic is based in nearby Alex City, AL) to embrace the latest fad.

Moving on...Everybody thinks I made this Tuberville thing up when I tell them how awesome this advertisment is. ('They' didn't even play it during last night's big Auburn game. WTF?!?) I saw it once during the Wazzu game and ESPN has shelved it ever since. Well, I did alittle research (surfing youtube) and I hit the jackpot!

All you doubters, put this in your pipe and smoke it:

One of these things is not like the others!

Wednesday, September 27

Coach O: The Song


I have to give credit where credit is due, and this little ditty has Grammy written all over it.

Some might say that Orgeron is an easy target, but this song...well, I can't do it justice... You'll just have to listen for yourself. I present to you...

O - The Song

Credit: Memphis' own, Chris Vernon

And for no additional charge...

Here's Orgeron's nearly world famous Hummer ad. (if you need a basis for comparison)

Erik's Blogpoll

Week 5

The last thing Angelina Jolie will see, if she births another white baby

1 Ohio State 25
2 Auburn 24
3 Southern Cal 23
4 West Virginia 22
5 Michigan 21
6 Louisiana State 20
7 Florida 19
8 Louisville 18
9 Virginia Tech 17
10 Texas 16
11 Iowa 15
12 Clemson 14
13 Georgia 13
14 Oregon 12
15 TCU 11
16 Cal 10
17 Tennessee 9
18 Florida State 8
19 Notre Dame 7
20 Oklahoma 6
21 Nebraska 5
22 Rutgers 4
23 Missouri 3
24 Boise State 2
25 Georgia Tech 1

I don't know what happened to my "Delta," but this is my poll, dammit. I think I may have submitted it too late. doh! Sorry, MgoBlog.

Not much changed up top, mostly becuase we were forced to endure such a turd of a football weekend. (Read: Florida vs Kentucky was the #2 SEC Game/ESPN Game)

Tuesday, September 26

SEC West Grades

Week 4

Whiffin' Tiffin's New Dorm - "See, Honey...It's not so bad!"

Alabama: C+ (previously B-)

For all the breaks that Bama received last season (See UT, Ole Miss), they were paid back in spades against The Hawgs. However, a lot of the Bama faithful have said, "We beat ourselves," while the Arkansas fans are saying, "We tried to give that game away." That makes for a fun game. Especially if you're not emotionally invested!

Here's what I say: Both teams played like ass.

Mustain seemingly completed three consecutive passes to Alabama DBs while Leigh Tiffin did his best John Vaughn impression (circa 2005). (Note: Only at Bama would they start a kicker because his Dad did something cool to beat Auburn a quarter century ago. "What a Classy guy Van was...And he played for The Bear...Sheit, I'll bet his boy is classy too...Leigh Tiffin deserves the start!")

Think for a second about Leigh Tiffin, an 18 year old freshman, walking to class this week... I ain't got the words, son. I will say this. If any Bama player over the years, ever needed to be admitted to Bryce State Mental Hospital, Leigh Tiffin would have to be him. But hey, think about the reality show we could make about his troubled life.

"Laces Out, DAN!!!!" (wish i knew who to credit for this. The worst MS Paint job eva)

JP Wilson looked as good he needed to be. To bad Shula wouldn't use him when it counted. The run game was a joke (2.3 per carry) as Darby looked about as effective as the rhythm method.

Bama obviously has some issues on the offensive line, the running game and special teams, but the biggest problem is confidence and coaching. Does any staff in the SEC coach with less emotion and/or balls?

Attitudes are contagious...Is Shula's worth catching?

Arkansas: C+ (previously C+)

That has to go down in the history of Hawg sports as the ugliest victory on record (and that's actually saying a lot). Just as Bama was down 10-3 to Vandy at the Half, I just knew Arkansas would rally and win after their 10-3 halftime deficit.

Mustain played like a true freshman. (7-22, for 97 yards, with 3 picks, but one crucial, redemptive overtime TD). He is getting priceless experience and will be a force in seasons to come. I give Gus Malzahn credit for pulling some wild and crazy crap out his ass. That Quasi-Pseudo-Swinging-Gate-Thingy was Beautimous!

Even though, all in all, this game was about as ugly as Jenn Sturger's personality, round 1 goes like this:

High School Offensive Coordinator - 1, NFL Offensive Coordinator - 0

Auburn: A (previously A-)

Auburn is one of those programs that can beat you soundly, even if they don't bring their "A Game" or start their first team. They've earned that status. At least against average to poor competition. Since it's been two weeks since your last installment, I have to mention the SEC West Championship game that took place a few weeks back.

Auburn certainly brought its A game to Jordan-Hare (especially on Defense) last weekend when the purple and gold Tigers came to town. I'm pretty sure everyone in the War Eagle Nation understands how fortunate they are to squeak that W out.

Some might say that home field was the deciding factor, which it most likely was. Just as it was last season when the West was decided over 5 missed field goals down in Red Stick. It's a damn shame that LSU and Auburn can't meet again in Atlanta, cause this blogger is fairly certain that this pair of Tigers is still the cream of the SEC.

LSU: A (previously A-)

Well, after falling short on the big test, The Drunks went home to whooped up on the wife and kids (Tulane). That a way, LSU! Take it all out on somebody smaller than you. It'll make you feel better. it won't.

Sad thing is, LSU is going nowhere fast. Their fate was sealed after week three. Which is not unlike three other teams in the SEC West (Arkansas is technically "in control of its destiny"), however nothing less than a BCS game was going to satisfy The Louisiana State University.

If LSU loses another game this season, it will not be for a lack of talent. If Florida (their only potential, remaining regular season loss) pulls one over on the Tigers, It will result from flacid play calling (read: not letting JaMarcus deploy his Howitzer) or just plain lack of effort.

JaMarcus and his support staff seen here warming up on the sidelines

Ole Miss: D (previously C-)

Could the Five Star QB Recruit Shaeffer be supplanted by a Walk-on? Is Offensive Coordinator Dan Werner the second coming of No-Redzone (Noel) Mazzone? Is the issue really just youth, inexperience, injuries and confidence (and every other tired excuse), or is it coaching?

These are the typically tough questions that need to be answered during the remainder of the season, cause the Plantationsmen aren't playing for much else. Wake f'n Forrest???!? 3 f'n points???!?!

Right now, I think the Rebs would settle for a few cute little moral victories or a hard fought, close loss. It's a sad time in Oxford, but is there a light at the end of the tunnel?

Orgeron is still recruiting like the madman that he is (18 committed for 2007 and a #4 ranking in the Rivals Team Ranking Debut). He is also holding true to his promise of early playing time (Recruits seem to like that for some reason). 15 true freshman have seen action thus far, and that's...a hem...not really a good sign if you like winning football games.

Mississippi State D+ (D-)

An embarrassing loss to Tulane followed by somewhat surprising overtime win over my hometown (and employer) UAB Blazers.(UAB was -10)

State fans know to thank their stingy defense and athletic turd third string WR/QB Omarr Conner who, after a key pick, danced his way into the endzone for the clutch "W."

If this stellar trend continues, you could be witness to a 2-9 Ole Miss battling a 2-9 Mississippi State in The Battle For The Golden Shower Egg.

I Dedicate this Remix To Ole Miss and Mississippi State

Friday, September 22

National Blogpoll

Week 4

- Ohio State, Auburn and Southern Cal...Just like I've been sayin' for weeks.

- LSU and Florida need to swap places. I don't care if the Fighting Tigers have a loss. This is supposed to be about who's the best, right?

- SEC = 4 teams in the top 10 - The New/Improved ACC = Nada!

- The Shula and Rader Circus rolls into Fayetteville to play the fourth straight non-bowl team (from 2005). A slight twist: Arkasas is favored, but Bama is ranked. I think the voters just go: "So who do I put in my bottom spot? Hmmmm.....Bama's 3-0. I've heard of them...I'll put them in my poll. de da...."

- It seems The Coaches thinkthat USC has earned the #2 spot over Auburn. It makes sense. The Trojans beat Arkansas like a drum (Must mean the SEC is down), and the Pac-10 is the strongest conference and USC is undefeated. Oh, I get it now.

- Could TCU be the most underrated team in the country behind Alabama? The Horny Toads held Mike Leach and the Red Raiders to single digits. That's right, I said it!

Thursday, September 21

The Auburn Experience

LSU Game Eve

IM000098, originally uploaded by Derek Kennedy

Cause everybody knows, half the fun of the big game is the build up

The loveliest village on the plain can hardly be described as simply a village these days. This town of nearly 50,000 is the largest piece of the most populous metro area in East Alabama. While, relatively speaking, that's not saying much, it has come a long way.

Your first sign of progress is the four lane highway (280) that leaves Birmingham and takes you, without interruption, all the way to the outskirts.

Well, would you expect any less from a school that boasts The National Center for Asphalt Technology?

My Auburn Grad Girlfriend and I left Birmingham at 3 pm. For those uninitiated, Highway 280 traffic runs deep from 2-7 in the afternoons, and it's especially rough on fall Fridays.

Why? Because 280 runs dead through the heart of Auburn Grad Country here in Birmingham. Every Auburn fan I know lives or has lived somewhere along the 280 corridor. It's just a right of passage.

In the spirit of the Old West, it's almost like the Auburn folks get their diplomas and start the wagon ride back to Birmingham on the highway. Only to pullover at the first available subdivision here in "The Big City."

"We'll call this Valley, 'Inverness!' It has a Sak's, Logan's Roadhouse and Home Depot. It's Perfect!"

Anyway, despite my best efforts (leaving work early and driving straight to Alison's place) we still spent a good 45 minutes in gameday/rush-hour traffic here in Birmingham. Once we got over the second mountain ("New Money Hill") and down into Chelsea, it was smooth sailing, and I preceded to sleep the rest of the trip away.

As we got close, something awoke me from my gentle slumber.

Was it the spirit if Shug Jordan welcoming me...

or could it be the potholes in the rural back-road that only an experienced Alumni (like Alison) would traverse?

Either way, I was starting to get an uneasy, almost nervous, feeling in my gut. One that said, "You're askin' for it this weekend."

After a little more gameday traffic, we made it downtown to our destination. Our friend, Chris, had offered us a place to rest for the weekend at his condo in the building above Buffalo's (or as he described it "half a block from Toomer's").

While Chris' condo was in the center of it all, it would also prove to be a double edged sword. We were forced to drive around for about 15 minutes on Gameday Eve, just to find a place to leave our car for the weekend. Four blocks away! (A $50 dollar ticket would not be money well spent)

Being a good host, Chris was kind enough to pick us up at our estranged vehicle and shuttle us to his bachelor pad. This is necessary because parking was at a premium and the parking deck Nazis were in full effect on this biggest home game of the year.

Ok, Auburn is known, stereotypically, as a small, agricultural, college town. However, I felt like I was in New York or Chicago when I walked into the lobby of Chris' Condo. The only thing that gave away our location was the deep orange and blue, decorative carpeting in the hallways (much like a grand old hotel...but with an Auburn flavor). When Chris turned the private key and pressed the button for the 4th floor, I knew Alison and I were in for something special.

This was certainly not your typical college housing. Marble counter tops and all stainless fixtures. Not bad! The condo's forth floor vantage afforded us some incredible views. Laid out before us was the downtown landscape as well as the campus, with classically styled Samford Hall and a sleepy Jordan Hare rising ominously in the distance. A chill ran down my spine.

"It'd be nice waking up to this" I said to Alison.

What good Auburn fan wouldn't be jealous of this gameday hideaway!

After settling in, the three of us took the elevator down to the lobby where Buffalo's American Grill awaited us. Hot Wings, cool ranch and Beer. A fan can't ask for too much more. Soon, old friends were coming out of the woodwork. First they found Chris, then Alison, then myself.

It's amazing how folks, you would never just run into at home in Birmingham, miraculously appear when you're hanging out in Auburn. I didn't even go to Auburn!

After sharing a few drinks and memories about the good old days, we went back up to the condo to prepare for the nights festivities.

Alison's good friend and former roommate had married a few years back and returned here with her husband to live the Auburn dream: An alumni couple, living in their college town with a contending football team. Summer and Gary's stock is way up!

They were having a keg. How thoughtful!

What better time and place for a party? Everybody you know is here (or they wish they were).

Being the safety first kinda folks that Alison and I are, we called the "Tiger Taxi" to transport know, just in case!

After about thirty minutes, our driver rang. I was immediately surprised to hear the lack of accent on the other end of the phone (can't understand a damn word in Birmingham). He told us to meet him down by "Moe's" on the other side of Toomer's.

I agreed, even though I wondered why he couldn't just pick us up in front of the building. This was fine, because it would give us an excuse to walk around downtown a bit. So we filled our Buffalo's Go-cups with a little extra flavor and took the elevator to the street.

East Magnolia was alive with fans of all shapes, sizes and affiliation. The LSU faithful were everywhere. They had sniffed out the local watering holes and seemed to be traveling in large, rowdy packs along the downtown streets, like hyenas looking for prey. It being early (8pm), I didn't witness an altercations.

The Auburn crowd showed much patience and understanding. Like parents with a small child...In this case, a small child that smells of corndogs and exhibits unacceptable body hair. And you should see the men.

As we crossed College street, go-cup in hand, we were accosted by a Super-Christian. You know the kind. The guy/girl that is out spreading The Word in front of the bar at 8pm (They would be much more effective if they'd come find us at 11am the following day when we're hating life... "Yes, I'm ready to change!")

What a Debbie Downer this guy was! I couldn't manage to grab his pamphlet because I had my cell in one hand (talking to the driver) and my Rum and Coke in the other. Thanks for making me feel like dirty rotten P.O.S., dude.

Hey, there's nothing wrong with evangelism, but standing out in front of the bar on a game weekend trying to help people, is much like going to Talladega on raceday and preaching on the evils of Chevrolet.

Bad place, bad time.

So, after having my moral compass recalibrated, we were finally able to find our Cabbie in the alley on the other side of the Bar formerly known as "The Blue Room" (huge landmark of note).

This wasn't your typical cabbie, but he was your average college student working his way through school. The traffic was light. Everyone must be eating dinner or already at the bar. After a good chat about life, love, and happiness, we bid our driver farewell.

The damage: $8.00, tip included.

Score one for the home team!

We step into the house and grab yet another cup, only to find your typical, family-oriented Auburn tailgate-type party. Multiple generations were present. I would say there were almost as many parents (baby boomers) as their were folk my age (and some of us are parents too). Even my roommate from back in Birmingham was present with a few of his degenerate, man-whorish friends. It was quite a reunion, especially for Alison.

We even had a token LSU fan with requisite mustache.

One of the Auburn boomers who obviously knew the LSU guy, was giving his cajun friend some crap on the "LSU fans smell like corndogs" tip.

If this group of older people were anything like my folks, I needed to be on my best behavior. you know, keep it clean.

Not wanting to offend any of these older gentlemen, I played along and jokingly leaned over to see if I could smell corndog.

As soon as I did, the 50 year old LSU fan asked me if I wanted to, in fact See... his corndog.


Touche, Coon-Ass dude. Touche.

All was fair game after that.

The party started to wind down relatively early, around 11pm. It seems that everyone knew that this was merely a prelude to the big day, and some restraint was in order. That didn't keep us from doing a few celebratory Keg stands, however. A surprising first for myself.

For you virgins out there... it's not as bad as it looks.

After further defiling ourselves, we called the Tiger Taxi hotline and were assigned the very same driver for our return trip. How nice.

When we returned to The Villa, we were surprised to find 4 additional housemates! Big game weekends certainly bring friends out of the woodwork (us included). So, we joined the air-mattress inflation party, had a few more laughs and fell asleep to the latest Harry Potter movie. (Thanks, Alison)

As I lay on my reinforced plastic foundation, I thought about how beautiful it is to be downtown - ground zero - for one of the biggest, badest and most passionate sporting events of the year.

Like a little kids at Christmas, I would usually have trouble sleeping given the magnitude of the situation...Not this time, however...Thanks, Budweiser.

All Auburn, All Orange - by mollye mo

Wednesday, September 20

Lest We Forget

This is a story that really hit home with me. Personally, I get so wrapped up in College Football this time of year that I seem to ignore the truly important things going on. Words don't mean much at a time like this, but I'll say Thank You to all our Troops and their Families, especially the Knox family. These young men and women are the greatest of our generation.

From Deadspin:

You might remember back in June, when Deadspin reader Tom Knox sent us this picture of his brother Sgt. Adam Knox, of Whitehall, Ohio, spreading the Ohio State love in Iraq.

Well, some tragic news, reported to us from Tom: Sgt. Knox was killed in Iraq over the weekend when his patrol "came under fire from enemy forces." Sgt. Knox was a member of the Army Reserve 346th psychological Operations Company based in Columbus, and he had been deployed to Iraq in February. He was 21 years old.

Our deepest sympathies to Tom and the rest of the Knox family during this unfathomable time.

Here is a copy of another picture Tom sent Deadspin of his brother Adam:

Prayers, Thanks and Respect

Pretty Damn Cool

I've been to many big Auburn games in my lifetime, but for one reason or another, I've never seen "Spirit" in person.

This is the next best thing.

Traditions like this are what separate Deep South College Football from the rest of the pack. Plus, it's what I'm all about:

Sports from the fan's perspective...

HT: Stephen

Monday, September 18

Erik's Blogpoll

Week 4

1 Ohio State --
2 Auburn --
3 Southern Cal --
4 West Virginia 1
5 Michigan 5
6 Louisiana State 2
7 Florida 1
8 Louisville 1
9 Georgia --
10 Virginia Tech 2
11 Texas --
12 Iowa 7
13 Oregon --
14 TCU 7
15 Cal 3
16 Notre Dame 8
17 Clemson 9
18 Arizona State 7
19 Oklahoma 3
20 Tennessee 5
21 Florida State 7
22 UCLA 1
23 Michigan State 3
24 Nebraska 2
25 Missouri 1

Dropped Out: Miami (Florida) (#17), Texas Tech (#20), Boston College (#24).

Now that's a great poll. Let me know where i'm "wrong."