Thursday, August 13

Who's the Freshman?

Shots from Ole Miss Two-A-Days

courtesy of the fine photographer at

One of these massive gentlemen is a true-freshman OT hopeful while the other is a senior, first team All-SEC OT. Who's who? No cheating, a-hole.

Greg Hardy (86) motions as if to say, "Come hither, young quarterback...for this day, I dine on your soul!" In the background, Jerrell Powe (57) looks on as if to say, "Note to self: I heart Twinkies."

"Wonder what would happen if I ate my mouthpiece?"

Many douchebag cajuns seem to be taken aback by the supposed homoeroticism of the simulated QB/Center exchange prominently displayed on the cover of the SI CFB preview. WTF? Cause LSU fans are so manly and all...

I guess you could call that "manly," in a way

Wednesday, August 12

The Kige Party

Phil Steele's Daddy Gives His SEC Picks

Wow, Kige. Don't ever let anyone tell you those dramatic, mind-numbing pauses aren't killer! And just for the record, I believe Alabama likes to be called "the Crimson Tide"...there was no need for a dramatic pause right there, but you pulled it off beautifully.

Damn you, Kige! Just when I thought everything was going The Rebels' way (Phil Steele's pick, the SI cover, Massie and Tig are in, ) you throw the old wet blanket Ole Miss' season. Talk about locker room material.

Tuesday, August 11

Stud Bama Fan of the Week

A reader submission, captured in the wild...

Daniel says, "note the hair"

How could I not note the hair? An impressive specimen indeed. RTR!!!!1

Two posts in one're welcome.

"More Hype, Please"

Sports Illustrated - click for a better version and more regional covers

I'm thinking it's time to just embrace the hype with open arms. There's no use fretting over stuff like this anymore ("Does the SI Curse apply to regional covers, or is that the Madden curse?") Be it the top 10 Coaches/SID ranking, the Houston Nutt cover or the reality show. At this point, does it really matter? When does the law of diminishing returns take hold? Maybe Ole Miss goes all "Princess Bride" on that ass. Rebs are to Hype as Westley is to iocane powder.

Bama Fans: "Another cover for Ole Miss? Inconceivable!?!"

["Inconceivable?" Who am I kidding. In the interest of authenticity that caption should read something like "Ole Pi$$?!? Bauuull-****!!! Hey, shut dat damn baby up, I's tryin' to cook meth in here, ya b***h!"]

Saturday, August 8

Phil Steele: Pre-Season God Of Obsure Stats

Steele brings the funky knowledge that Lindy's and Athlon can only fantasize about. What I love about Phil's mag, is that in this day and age of extreme CFB oversaturation, where we pretty much know 5 minutes after our favorite safety prospect blows a .114 in a stolen car while driving without a license, and the mugshot is subsequently hitting 112 different blogs within the hour...In days where we get constant videos and in-depth reports of every spring practice and at least two first-hand accounts detailing any situation where a 4-star recruit may or may not be scratching his balls.

"Could it be Crabs?! Does his baby's momma know??"

In days such as these, I love that Phil Steele actually manages to tell me stuff I don't know about my team. You know...The one I'm obsessed with. The one I already spend countless hours wasting productivity senselessly studying and dissecting meaningless BS. And he does that for all 119 fanbases out there. Plus the neanderthal followers of Ohio State.

You gotta respect that.

I was at Publix yesterday picking up some bacon, and I happened upon Steele's SEC Preview. (I tried to finagle a copy a couple months ago "as an SEC blogger/promoter" but Steele's email Nazis weren't buyin' it...something about actually updating the site???)

Anyways, In his "Best Case/Worst Case" stat he talks about close wins and close losses from 2008.

I find it interesting that last season, Ole Miss' best case scenario was 13-0 (because the Rebs never got beat by a large margin) and our worse case was 7-6 (because they only won two close games: Ark and Florida)

On the other hand, Alabama's best case is 12-2 (their actual record) because they had two big losses to close the season. Their worse case was was 9-5 as they had three close wins (Kentucky, LSU, OM).

What are the chances of Alabama achieving their best case scenario again? Usually the truth lies somewhere in between worst and best. These people calling for Alabama to go 12-0 again (#5 in the coaches? how so?) are effing crazy. In my mind, they're like Mississippi state in 2008: The year before, all the breaks went their way, and they made the Liberty bowl. Well, the next year, the ball didn't bounce their way near as often. (4-8)

Ole Miss won 2 of 6 close games last season. Lets say win conservative 4 of 6 (.667) this season. I'd be ok with a 10 win regular season.

Again, if you want real insights into college football, look no further. If you want to rely on a bunch of glorified PE Teachers who don't watch the games, don't do their homework and most of the time don't even do the effing voting, check out the new pre-season USA Today Poll.

LSU at #9 above Ole Miss, really??

Monday, August 3

"The Blindside" Trailer - Don't Cry at Work

I'm somewhat impressed. I thought it would be a trainwreck, considering Orgeron is directly involved. He doesn't exactly have the Midas touch when it comes to acting or, well talking. Who knows though. Trailers can be very deceiving.

The director and producers didn't seem too overly concerned with messy details like authenticity and realism since they filmed the "true story" of a kid from Memphis and Ole Miss in Atlanta and GA Tech. However I'm sure the ghettos of Atlanta are pretty much interchangeable with crapholes of Memphis. The only part of Briarcrest Christian School (my high school's rival/bitch) that comes through on the big screen is their colors ("Crusaders" or "Saints"...same thing).

I'm wondering what Michael Lewis thinks about the fluffization of his best selling novel, other than "Dolla, dolla billz, yall" cause no matter what, it's gonna make some serious cash...a la Paul Blart, Mall Cop "We are...Marshall."

Alright, count me in, and bring the Kleenex.