Racist, Barner Cops Entrap Simeon Castille

Tuscaloosa Police Department Hates America

Castille, 21, was charged with disorderly conduct and booked into the Tuscaloosa County Jail at 3:30 a.m. He made $500 bond and was released at 4:25 a.m., according to jail records.

What could possibly explain this rash of recent arrests under the Nick Saban regime? 4 football players in 5 weeks?!? Certainly, this is not just a lack of discipline or good judgment on behalf of some overly-entitled college kids. No, this is much, much more...

As one enlightened tider said on The Opening Drive this morning, "Simeon is a model citizen...Them Tuscaloosa police need to get they priorities straight...I ain't tryin' to say anything, but there may be some other schools involved in this..."

Ya Damn Right! These so called "officers" are certainly not "protecting and serving" Alabama football.

Let's set the record straight before we attemt to taint a highly decorated member of the pre-season All-SEC First Team. He's got a Crimson Tide All-American preacher of a daddy in Jeremiah Castille...A good Tider brother in Tim...He went to Briarwood CHRISTIAN school...he's a team leader. He's even a founding father of Saban's groundbreaking, and completely not bullshit "Peer Intervention Group." Simeon would never do anything to hurt UAT.

Surely Simeon just took a break from his study group at two in the morning to offer Designated Driver services to some of his morally ambiguous teammates. That's the only explanation that makes sense here.

Obviously, there is a Big Blue hand in all this. What better way to hurt the tide than send undercover Barner fans to infiltrate the elite forces of the Tuscaloosa P.D.? It might take years to earn the Tider's trust, but it'll be worth it. Those Auburners knew they couldn't beat Saban in a fair fight, so I guess they'll just try and bring him down from the inside. It's genius. Who here hasn't seen "The Departed?" Surely the flagship university's highly educated fanbase will piece together this nazi-esque plot. (Tuscaloosa is to Occupied France as the football team is to the Juden) Case in point:

An eye witness account (that was told to somebody who posted it on a messageboard which was then intercepted by rolltideroll.com. Good as gospel)...

Simeon and Rashad were at a club with their girlfriends. As they were all leaving Simeon and Rashad were wrestling with and trying to pull BJ and Caldwell out of a car. Simeon was pretty loud and two cops came running up and grabbed him. They cuffed him and pulled his wallet out and while Simeon was trying to tell them he was only playing. The cop with the wallet looked at the other cop and said sarcastically "should we call the coach"? The informant said the other cop stated "nah, let him find out through the newspaper." They arrested him for disorderly conduct. None of the other players or girlfriends, who were all black, wanted to talk to the cops, both white, for fear of being arrested too. So Simeon was carried off to jail and held for about four hours.

And I thought we had made so much progress as a state and a conference. These evil, racist, cartoonish Auburn sympathizing police officers have set our state back decades and should be castrated. I'm surprised Saban hasn't dropped the charges and at least fired these two rogue, barner honkies.

Next thing you know it's gonna be,

"Hey there's a Football player conversing with a white woman...here, plant this dime bag that boy's pocket...Oh, and War Eagle."

Related:

AL.com Coverage
Tidefans Messageboard Meltdown!

Bama Fan of the Week

Donnie Ingram

This is an amazing expose. It is a view inside what appears to be a Crimson Tide themed, manufactured tree house. Professional investigative journalist, Daniel Baker takes on the unenviable task of interviewing known Bama fanatic and sidewalk alum Donnie Ingram in his natural habitat or "Tide Trailer."

Please let Bammer Donnie make parallels between The Bible and Alabama Football.


Nevermind the bare studs and visible insulation...Donnie's remodeling


Daniel Baker's Archives

Les Miles: Poet Laureate

As you know, Les Miles isn't the boastful type. He's not one to toot his own horn, if you will. Even so, some of his lesser known qualities need not go without laud. It seems that we may have underestimated the brain behind the hat. Les Miles is not only a noted football strategist and prevayer of hip-hop joints, but apparently he has also been known to "bust a few rhymes" in a more traditional sense.

In this recent Superprep interview with a rising Mississippi running back, I feel that we get a little bit closer to understanding the genius that is Les Miles...

Who is coming after Johnson the hardest?

"Alabama and LSU. Alabama has been sending me a lot a letters about how their athletes get to live in their own apartments. LSU keeps sending me a lot a poems."

Wow. And I thought Poetry was a lost art in Deep South College Football. What a lucky young man this Johnson! I bet you readers would like to get your greasy little hands on a Les Miles original wouldn't you? Well...Today is your lucky day.

Bloggers Note: Some edits have been made to protect the innocent.

To A 5 Star Recruit:

Come Ball With Me

As I cruise through the swamp with its shadowy grass,
I dream of the gridiron and whoopin' some PAC-10 ass.

For your crazy skills, I impart mad props.
To have you on board, we'll pull out the stops.

Be it a Lexus, a 'Sclade or a Hummer Truck,
This is Louisiana. Nobody gives a F**k.

Your Momma like Ice? Don't throw them bows!
We'll even take care of yo chickenheaded hoes.

LSU is the s**t, of this I am certain,
You F with a Tiger, Yo ass I be hurtin'.

We play with the best, and dress you in styles.
So come ball with me, Les Mother F**cking Miles.

"Haha!" - Les Miles - Renaissance Man

Happy Fourth from Hillary

If This Doesn't Get Your Vote...


I'm thinking Rosanne would make a fine running mate

Chadd Scott Tees Off on The Tide

I'll Say This About Chadd... He's Thorough


I just recently received an email alerting me to this post. It may be a little bit old (I'm not sure), but it seems to be more and more relevant every day.

If you don't know, Chadd Scott is the producer of ESPN's Colin Cowherd radio show, but Colin's not the only one with some strong opinions. No Sir. Scott did not leave any rounds in the clip with this take.

Chadd on Saban and Alabama Fans in general:

He is a liar and a coward and a quitter and maybe by being all of those things, that will put him in good standing with Alabama fans because I lived in Alabama for 10 years and I've never met a bigger group of narrow-minded, ignorant, boastful, obnoxious jerks in my life.

I'm painting with a broad brush here and I have every intention to. I've met dozens of Bama fans and alumni and the honest, decent, moral, trustworthy ones I could probably count on one hand.

Ask yourself this, after all his vehement public denials, how did Alabama Athletic Director Mal Moore and the Tide cronies know Satan could still be lured to the Capstone?

They knew because it takes one to know one. It takes a liar to know when another liar is lying and from the generally low level of dignity that Alabama fans have, they must have been able to see in Satan one of their own. A guy who'd turn his back on people he'd made a commitment to, a guy whose word meant nothing....

...This, however, I'm not wrong on: Nick Saban is a liar. Nick Saban is a coward. Nick Saban is a quitter. Nick Saban is all of those things and he couldn't be rewarded with a more likeminded group of fans than the one he's about to inherit in Tuscaloosa.

Check here to Join The Auburn Chapter of The Chadd Scott Fan Club.

Wow. And you can't really say he's an ignant, ESPN homer. The guy lived in Alabama the Beautiful for 10 years (matching my tenure). He must be a genius.

Link
Again, Chadd Doesn't Like UAT

Hat Tip: Burt

This Just In...

Arkansas Fans be Crazy as Hell

You know what's crazier than an Arkansas fan? A Hog fan that lives in Alabama.

Roger Wooley of Tafford, Alabama wants your money. He wants your money to support his Razorback Fan Poll. What does Ole Rog offer in return? The Truth! The Damn Truth! The truth about what the state of Arkansas thinks about it's head honcho, Coach Houston Nutt...

We have contracted with an established, respected professional (wow - all three?) polling firm in Arkansas, to take an opinion poll of Razorback fans. Primarily about the state of the football program, plus a couple other topics (fragment). There are 2 topics that we primarily would like to see researched:

(1) The assertion that only a small portion of fans, such as 5%, are dissatisfied with Coach Nutt.

(2) The assertion that a "small, vocal, organized minority" is behind all the discontent; and that this minority is concentrated in NWA.

These questions will be answered both by the poll results, and hopefully by the number & geographic distribution of those who contribute to the fund raising (sold!).

We are shooting for 150 fans in each of the 4 Congressional districts. This will avoid skewing the data by a heavy concentration of responses from places like Little Rock or Springdale (commie bastards!).

Genius, Roger!

See, Roger and his constituency are concerned...concerned that the public opinion of Nutt may be "different" than what the vocal minority of "Houston-Haters" would have you believe. Gasp!

Here's a few examples of this groundbreaking poll questions, just to wet your appetite (and open your pocketbook):

Qualifier:Are you an employee of the University of Arkansas? If no, proceed.

1. How often do you watch, listen to, or attend Razorback Football games?

a. Every possible occasion b.Occasionally c.Rarely.

2. What is your primary source of Razorback football information?

a. TV b.radio c.newspaper d.internet e. family and friends f.all

3. What is your secondary source of information?

4. How many people do you speak with about Razorback sports on a regular basis?

5. When speaking before a group in Texas earlier this year, Frank Broyles said that the Arkansas football team has the potential to be the 7th best football program in the SEC. Do you agree with that statement, or do you think the program can do better?

a. agree b. the program can do better

Don't sit on the sidelines and let misinformation about Arkansas Football go unpunished. You too can support this important effort to bring some truthiness to The Natural State!

Just send your paychecks to:

Roger Wooley
345 Doe Trail
Trafford, AL 35172

Seriously. Roger doesn't trust free, online polling, and stamp prices just went up again, asshole. Oh yeah, don't worry. He'll give any excess funds to Charity*.


Hilariously unrelated, crazed Hawg fan


Hat Tip: Bob/River
Roger's Site: Razorbackfanpoll.com
More Info: TheHogBlogger

* Charity is employed by Wesley's Boobie Trap in Dora, Alabama