Sunday, December 31

The Dreaded "Inside Trout"

Kines Looks To Replace Shula as UAT's Head Football Joke Coach

Here, Joe Kines seals the deal. He may have lost his Bowl game Debut, but Kines would make a beautiful, understated addition to the SEC Coaching Fraternity.

He's certainly got DeepSouthSports vote:

Lock up your daughters...Joe Kines for Head Coach!

HT: edsbs

For more in depth football knowledge read Joe Kines Says

Tuesday, December 19

Snead...Jevan Snead

The Future is for Ole Miss

Biggest transfer eva? The #6 rated High school quarterback of the 2006 class plans on spending the next four years in Oxford. Of course he'll sit out next season while Brent Shaeffa tries to salvage his dignity.

That leaves Snead three years (2008-2010) to run the Big O's O.

Werner, Snead and The Orgeron share a laugh and a smile

The Snead Profile

The Grainy High School Video

"I think Brent Shaeffer and Jevan Snead need to swap names"

- Drake and Zeke Morning Show (Memphis)

Sunday, December 10

Patrick Willis - The Best Of College Football

You can't Help but Love this Guy...Unless You're an Offensive Coordinator

Sometimes, the best players don't play on the winningest teams. You may not know that from some of the recent award shows. However, it was very satisfying to see that Patrick Willis of Ole Miss was recently recognized for his outstanding talent and hard work with the Butkus award for the nation's best linebacker.

Out of all the outstanding SEC linebackers playing in the pros, Willis is only the second to take home the award (Derrick Thomas, Alabama).

Willis is going to give you 110%...every day, every down.

He will be a game changing asset to any NFL Defense, not just because of his freakish athletic ability or ball hawking instincts, but for of his uncommon attitude about football and life...

"Each day that we wake up we have a decision to either have a good day or have a bad day," Willis said. "I pray to the lord and I know that he's with me each step. I just try to have the best day possible, but I know it's up to him how my day turns out."

Reason # 1762 why I love College Football in the South. Thanks, Patrick.

2006 Butkus Award:

Darren McFadden (ARK) vs. Willis:

"When I saw (Willis) him run down Darren McFadden from Arkansas basically from behind with no angle, I knew he had pretty good speed," the Auburn coach Tommy Tuberville said.

Justin Vincent (LSU) vs. Willis:

"Patrick is as good a player as there is in the country in my opinion," Kentucky's Rich Brooks said. "He's a guy who goes from sideline to sideline and plays as fast and as violent as any linebacker we've seen this year."

Saturday, December 9

Whoops...Crapper's Full

Bama Gets Dumped on, Once Again


Rich gave Bama the Rod...heh

Who's Bama's 4th choice?

How many Coaches will they have to go through before they fire the Ignant Douche hiring the coaches?

"Who's got two thumbs and Sucks at his Job?...THIS GUY!"

Friday, December 8

One More Bottle Blond In T-town?

Forget Rich...How's The Bama Nation's New First Lady?

Out With Shari Shula.......In With Rita Rodriguez

Other than 10 years, some Mystic-Tan and a few cans of Aqua-Net, they're one and the same. Wonder if Rita was a professional dancer too?

In our year round southern soap opera that we lovingly refer to as SEC Football, it seems we have a few new characters to follow.

Now, obviously, Shari will not be defending her title as Top SEC Wife, but this also begs the question...Where does this fiery new contender, "Rita Rod", fit in the highly competitive hierarchy of SEC Coaches Wives?

Yes, we all know that the SEC is the pinnacle of The College Football Universe, but that standard of excellence doesn't just apply to the field of play.

The fans, players, facilities, coaches, support staff and most importantly the wives must all send a consistent message, and that message must be awesomeness.

So, with that in mind, here is the DeepSouthSports file on Rita Rodriguez:

- A native West Virginian, Rita quickly made her distaste for this move more than public:

A very reliable Internet rumor said that Rita even called a West Virgina sports talk show and cried at the thought of moving to Tuscaloosa. Obviously Rita's hasn't heard of Tuscaloosa's world renowned Bear Bryant Museum, the many breathtaking Flea Markets or the towns proximity to prime deer huntin' land.

- Here's a recent quote from Rita further exhibiting her sassy nature:
"It was an informal meeting," Rich Rodriguez told

When asked how long the meeting lasted, Rodriguez turned to his wife, Rita, and said, "25, 30 minutes. How long did it last, Rita?"

"Ninety minutes," Rita said.

"Oh," Rich said.

Good luck with all that, Coach.

Like Coach Rod, I think I'll give Rita a while to get her feet up under her before I pass judgement.

So dry those eyes, Rita! Alabama can't be worse than West Virginia.

If I had to move to Tuscaloosa, I'd just play this song and (Much Like Bama Fans) think about the good old days...

The early 90's

This natural blonde isn't too sure about Rita either

Tuesday, December 5

BlogPoll - Erik's Fair and Balanced Pre-Bowl Poll

1 Ohio State 25
2 Florida 24
3 Michigan 23
4 LSU 22
5 Oklahoma 21
6 Auburn 20
7 Arkansas 19
8 Louisville 18
9 Southern Cal 17
10 West Virginia 16
11 Wisconsin 15
12 Virginia Tech 14
13 Boise State 13
14 Houston 12
15 Rutgers 11
16 Notre Dame 10
17 Wake Forest 9
18 Tennessee 8
19 Nebraska 7
20 Texas 6
21 Brigham Young 5
22 Texas A&M 4
23 Boston College 3
24 California 2
25 Oregon State 1

Note: The 16 team playoff should start next weekend, but instead the moronic bowl season starts with a whimper on Dec. 19 with (I kid you not) The San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl. Cause nothing says big time college football like the killer combo of poisonous flora and prime-plus-1 auto loans.

Also, what's up with The GMAC bowl being played on Jan. 7th? I thought the bowls were always gonna be organized from crappy snoozers up to the National Championship?

Now, it's like we're going throught the holidays and games are get better, better, better, Oh, and SEC team!...Cotton, Gator, Rose, Fiesta and Orange, YES, YES, YES! ... then we get force fed a turd sandwich with the GMAC and "International Bowl" just days before the National Championship game.

Maybe it's a last ditch effort to make us appreciate good football and ultimately the Bowl syster.

(said with skeezy french accent) "Hey guys...Look at this steaming stinker between Western Michigan and Cincinnati! So what you don't even know what Western Michigan's Mascot is! Bet you can't wait for The BCS Title Game! Everything is fine."

Thanks, but no thanks, Bowl Season.

The end of the College Football season has become a sad disgrace to intelligence and civility.

You can take The San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl and shove it up your pooper.

Here's the Bowl Schedule (try not to vomit on your keyboard)

Bowl Season, I. DON'T WANT. YOUR LIFE!!!

Monday, December 4

The SEC Gets Payback for the '97 Heisman

Respect for the SEC - What a Concept!

Sucks Doesn't it Michigan? Kinda like the '97 Heisman...That's right, We're still bitter! - Credit: MZone

I could hardly believe my own eyes as I logged on to yahoo sports (I don't support the evil empire) to see that The One and Righteous SEC Champion, the Florida Gators, would represent us in the National Title Game.

Holy Frijoles!!!

For what is often hailed as the Strongest Conference In the land, the SEC routinely gets shat upon by the National Media (read: ESPN/ABC/Disney) so I expected no less.

If you witnessed the gratuitous ESPN bro-mance leading up to the pseudo-championship game of USC vs. unranked, 5 loss UCLA on Saturday (it was mentioned right next to the SEC, ACC and Big XII Championship like we gave a damn) then you know the kind of suck-fest I'm referring to.

Alas, USC was exposed by yet another mediocre talent in the PAC-10.


Cry Me a river Hippies! (Note: They don't care about College football anyway...All they care about are doing drugs/abortions and/or acting like skanks...That's right, I said it.)

Whoah, didn't mean to get all political, but the concept of the PAC-1o disgust me.

The Case for Michigan:

1. The Wolverines only lost to the consensus #1 team in the nation, Ohio St, by 3 on the road

2. They beat an otherwise undefeated Wisconsin Team

3. They beat an otherwise one loss Notre Dame Team

The Case Against Michigan:

1. Ohio State relaxed in the fourth and let Michigan back in the Game (it wasn't as close as it appeared)

2. Wisconsin switched schedules with Boisie St and didn't beat a single ranked team on the way to 11-1. Wait, that's a fact. How's about this: Wisconsin didn't do a damn thing this season, except expose those ignant new clock rules for what they are...Which is crap...Which is nice.

3. Notre Dame is not a quality win.

"But they play such a strong schedule!"

No...No they don't.

Notre Dame Tangent...Irish, it's time for you to join a conference. You're not that special. Beating all the service academies is not as cool as it was back in the 1930's. Don't look now but you haven't won a bowl game in over a decade because you're constantly overmatched. Why? Because you rely on your name to get you in the door (sound familiar, Shula?) then you precede to crap the bed... every time.

And you thought Miami got reamed by LSU last Bowl Season? Just wait until Catholics Vs. Cajuns down on the Bayou. Yet another match up of SEC Might Vs Media Hype. Brady Quinn has a 45% chance of getting ripped in half (you ever seen Not Another Teen Movie?...Kinda like that Special kid). If you hate overblown BS and hype, you'll love this game. Enough about the Irish.

Back to Michigan...

4. My final point: If you don't win your conference, you don't deserve to dance (much like the Big XII Championship losers of the past)

The Case For Florida:

1. The Gators only loss was to a 2 loss Auburn team on the road

2. They beat three teams in the top 15 (UT, LSU, Ark)

3. They beat 9 Bowl eligible teams (6 wins or greater)

4. They Won the SEC

The Case Against Florida:

1. Tim Tebow Envy

2. Hair Gel (I'm not a Dapper Dan Man)

3. Florida isn't technically considered "Deep South," however Gainsville is somewhat North Florida so i guess they're cool. They aren't quite like the rest of The Family, but we love them anyway.

The choice is clear...Go Gators!

Friday, December 1

Your Semi-Annual Fotoshop Friday

We all knew Mike would land on his feet

HT: Dirty D.

Actually, Mike Shula may not be able to coach worth a damn, but under the terms of his contract he gets...

$63,492.06 A MONTH starting this Thursday and lasting through January 31, 2012

Unless he gets another job...then his UA pay would be adjusted. (no need to worry about this provision)

And I thought Jeff Bowden got a sweet deal.

Nice Investment, Bama!

LSU Fans: Ain't Nothin' Like Em Nowhere

I believe this LSU Tailgate is off the Crunk-o-Meter

Nothing says SEC Football in the South like a coonass rave, complete with 2003's hottest rap junt. Don't worry, y'all! Louisiana's future is in good hands:

He Also Does Weddings!