In Case You Haven't Seen It Yet...
He may not have time for your shit, but he does have time to drop it like it's hot, drop, drop it like it's hot. C-N-S Make You drop it like it's hot. What is it about short guys and dancing? By the way, The players who put this on the youtubes are so suspended for the opening kickoff of the Bossier City Bowl.
Friday, December 28
In Case You Haven't Seen It Yet...
This Video is So Hot Right Now
[HT: Awful Announcing]
Hope you had a wonderful christmas. Chris Jesse and ESPN can bite my ass. He didn't even touch the damn ball. Why do we care? It's not like that non-touch changed the outcome of the game. By the way, it was the freaking Holiday Bowl. It was not the Super Bowl or the NLCS. Don't compare this douche-nozzle to Bartman (like The World Wide Leader did). Don't be a prick. Lets move on to more important matters...
Oh wait. I forgot. The days between Christmas and the weekend seem to be the sweaty taint of the space-time continuum. Taint here, and cetainly taint there. Absolutely nothing worth noticing transpires in the days after Christmas...especially in the world of sports, much less, college football. Maybe that's why this "incident" headlines all the blogs and "legitimate" media outlets.
Yeah, It was dumb...but dumb stuff happens all the time. I actually think, as a coach, you should be able to jump in and infulence at least one play a game...if you dare. When I watch this old clip of the 1959 Ole Miss/LSU "Halloween Run" game, I often hope that Rebel coach Jonhny Vaught will jumped out from the shadows and straight roundhouse kick LSU's Billy Cannon square in the larynx! (Thus preventing his game winning TD and preserving Ole Miss' outright mythical National Championship).
I mean, what would the officials honestly do about it? They're not going to award the guy a touchdown or anything. That'd be ridiculous (Unlike my sideline roundhouse kick to the throat) Yeah, if only we could witness a play like that...that would be something to blog about.
Note: The First SEC bowl game kicks off tomorrow (Praise Allah!), then we get an roman orgy of SEC games on 2K8 Eve + 2K8 Day. 6 to be exact. I'd be OK with this if they weren't overlapping (Two SEC games start during the 11am hour on January 1?!?). Anyway, here's your clear, concise, foofery-free Bowl Viewing Schedule. Enjoy yo-self...
[USAToday Bowl Schedule]
Another Note: Here's an extra special youtubes for those hooked on cocaine this holiday season...
[HT: Jim Halpert]
Thursday, December 20
All-star reader and contributor, Darren hooked us up with another sparkling, Bama-related Gem. ("hot damn! more Tider content?")
Word on the street is the below billboard was erected by a bunch of studly University of Louisiana-Monroe Alumni. The fact that these boys (with the help of Hixson Ford, of course) ponied up 12 grand to stick it to Alabama is credit enough...
...but Major Credit for making every single die-hard Tider drive beneath this billboard on the way to their "bowl game"...
[HT: Darren - Verified by Hixson Ford of Monroe]
Bama Fan of the Year?
While browsing the internets this morning, I came upon a "story" that was obviously too awesome to ignore. On the crazy scale (with 1 being that really nice, ostensibly educated and strangely humble Bama grad neighbor and/or relative of yours, 8 being Alana Collette Connell and 10 being Pinson) This Stud is right up there with the best of 'em. Bama should be awarded a 13th Nashnul Chamyunship for merely being associated with such greatness.
To complement this piece, I'd like you to envision this, "Original" Bama FOTW and FUBU aficionado as you read the eloquent words of a Tider:
"i want to thank Saban for destroying my family. My sons grandparents are auburn fans and we visit them only at deaths in the family. Well we Lost a 41 year old Auburn fan and preacher on Nov 11 2007. So we got together for the Funeral.the first time in two years because we are Bama fans. They ask us to come to their home for Christmas so we can help with the lost of their youngest son. we agreed when we left their house my sons one is 24 one is 16 said if Auburn beats Alabama they never wanted to see them again. Guess what we lost and thanks to the sorry backs and Quarterback we have and the 4 million dollar coach we lost our family for good. Thanks for destroying our hope our faith and family and the youth of Alabama's hopes forever. My 24 year old was going to transfer. this year if Bama Won but who wishes to play with a bunch of loser like the ones that take the field in Alabama, "
Posted at 9:38AM on Nov 26th 2007 by screwauburn
[HT: The Fanhouse via Brain at The Fanhouse]
Tuesday, December 18
Sponsored by The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue
I ask you, who needs toned, universally attractive painted supermodels when you've got this Bama Skank?
If you're not blind yet, notice the beautiful houndstooth hat adorning this young ladies shoulder, adding the perfect touch of Tider class to this already mind-numbingly embarrassing image
This Bama fan's awesome display of disregard for basic human decency can only be categorized as "Damn, I hope that's not fake cause it is 10 shades of sad."
While the above picture passes the eyeball test as real (as in, an undoctored photograph), these below pics fall under a somewhat different category. Something like "Fark of the Week." However, they are no less amusing.
I Could See This...
Nobody's This Lucky...
Te-Hos Come In All Shapes and Sizes
A Classic: Somebody Cropped this Pornstar in where Tony Joiner Used to Be
I Call this Screen-Cap From Bama Online "Priorities" (wait this one's real)
click to enlarge/see the whole thing
Monday, December 17
My new favorite, random LSUFreek fark
Excuse my lack of content of late. On top of real life excuses, work has been blog-blocking me. (those cocksmen) I guess they don't want their employees blogging at work or something. Even so, I think I've found a way around it.
It's kinda like watching those scrambled channels at the end of the dial way back in...er, junior high (without the cheezy music). The Man won't ever come between me and my contrabanded entertainments!
So what did I miss??? Lets see. What to tackle first?
- Here's a few pics of The New Ole Miss First lady courtesy of nafoom.com...I present to you, Diana Nutt...
Where does Diana fit in the hierarchy of SEC Wives?
Interesting. Maybe Houston's not as far behind The Orgeron as we once thought in the recruiting department. Speaking of, I wonder how the big move is going for good ole' Kelly Orgeron...
Another Top SEC Wife bites the dust
Word on the street is that Kelly was a "square peg" to the Oxford scene's round hole. Among other issues, it seems Kelly had quite the potty mouth in the grove. Apparently candelabras, Abners, F-bombs and G.D. don't mix. That's doesn't jive at all with the drunken, pseudo-chruch picnicy vibe of The Grove. She wasn't too fond of the Grove M.O: "Hold your liquor, mind your manners and keep your problems in the closet"
Either way, A "Meet The Orgerons" Reality show would be a gold-mine and they'd make the Bonaduces and Kardashians look like the effin' Cleavers. Seriously, what has Orgeron been up to the last coupla weeks?
In hindsight, has there ever been a less productive SEC coach in terms of Wins and Losses? Apparently, it doesn't pay to have a wife at the top of my old list. You're next Urban.
- In other news, it seems if your school holds out for a month and looks like a bunch of clueless a-holes, you are rewarded with a big name coach. Just ask Arkansas, Michigan and (last year) Alabama.
- Oh, and I love the prevailing thoughts of internet Bama fans at this juncture (basically the same place they were with Shula a year ago). I actually read some ignorant, mediocrity-induced rivals poster write something along the lines of, "Shula put us in such a big hole cuz of bad recruiting not to mention probation that it's gonna be 3 or 4 years to rebuild The Tide." WTF ever. Why is it always, that after your new coaching staff proves to suck balls in their first year, "Well, we all knew it was gonna take 4 years to get this thing turned around."
Horsepiss! You don't pay a guy $4 million a year to do no better than Mike Shula with Mike Shula's pretty damn talented players. Clearly, Nick Saban has lost the respect of everyone that counts (outside of the recruitniks). Mostly the players. You can't tell me they didn't quit on him after that LSU game. Why would you want to play for a coach who will gladly sell you in the media every chance he gets. I certainly wouldn't show up drunk at the airport for a guy that's gonna take me from 6-6 to...yeah, 6-6. (BTW, BOL Open Board Moderator/Tough guy MrCrimson is an Uber-Scrotebag)
- David Cutcliffe is now the head man of Duke Football. Wow, what an impact hire. I wonder if the Dukies even bothered to talk to Ole Miss administration. (requisite Cutcliffe joke in 3...2...1..) Is there a previously unknown 6'4", high school senior quarterback, bastard son of Archie Manning residing somewhere in the Carolinas? Otherwise, Duke football is screwed. As if they could be anymore screwed than 4 and 42 in four years under Ted Roof. This pic pretty much sums up the excitement and effort David Cutcliffe will bring to Durham...
- Speaking of the Cutcliffe/Orgeron era, the goat of these men's flailing, pathetic offenses was more often than not Michael Spurlock. Spur was the starting quarterback the year after Eli under offensive genius David Cutcliffe. As you know, Eli is a 6'4", lead footed honky with a strong, fairly accurate arm. Michael Spurlock is a 5'10", fast as lightening, athlete with a cannon for an arm but zero accuracy or (how do I say)...touch or requisite height to see over offensive linemen.
Obviously, these two men should run the same offense.
There are two amazing indicators of Cutcliffe's ineptitude: Patrick Willis...who I think I can safely say will quickly become one of the best linebackers to ever play the game of football, at any level (If you want to argue see Exhibit A, B or C), Cutcliffe stumbled upon him when no other SEC schools offered the small school, Tennessee Mr. Football and then promptly sat him on the bench for two seasons of eligibility in the name of seniority. WTF! [/tangent]
Anyway, If you need more evidence than that, check out the youtube below to see what kind of talent Cutcliffe wasted by trying to make Michael Spurlock a pro-style, pocket passer...
So...Congrats to Spurlock who "couldn't hack it" in college ball, but is making history in the NFL. Thanks, Cut! You offensive guru and genius developer of quarterbacks!
Good luck with all that, Duke.
Monday, December 3
Real life intrudes. More high quality crap later this week. I leave you with an up-close-and-personal youtubes interview of "The Bama Superfan" Nate Davis. Yeah, that guy. One of the original BFOTWs!
Here CSTV catches up with Nate on campus...naturally carrying a flag, in a kilt. I have to say, Nate being from Dothan, the accent wasn't all I had hoped for and imagined. Maybe that's what makes him even more nutsack-thumpin', punch-me-in-the-throat awesome! He sounds like he's from Indiana, but never fear. He's still a special Tider at heart...plus he prays to the Bear. Way to carry the "Alabama is Not AssBackwards?!?" Flag for all to see, Nate:
"It's not a tomb [asshole]. It is a living testament."
Edit: It appears DeepSouthSports surpassed 500K in the page hits department some time this morning. Even though sites like Deadspin do 500K hits on a slow Saturday in July, I'm pretty pumped. Seriously...Thanks for stopping by.