Thursday, August 31

California Love?

The LA Times Takes Notice

Bloggers, if you're not careful, can be home-field wreckers. At Oklahoma, news of Bomar's pay-for-play car dealership job first appeared on a Texas A&M post.

Florida Coach Urban Meyer is so fed up with the Internet — "it just horrifies me," he complained at Southeastern Conference media day — he banned it from his house.

Maybe the tipping point was Meyer's wife, Shelley, finishing third in a blog of "Top Wives of the SEC."

HT: The Wiz

Marshall Wraps Up The Fulmer Cup

The Thundering Herd Takes Home The EDSBS Heisman of Off Season Thuggery

Behold, the final leaderboard for Orson and Stranko's Fulmer Cup:

Tennessee makes the namesake proud by defending it's SEC Championship. Hot on the Vols heels was perennial thuggery powerhouse Mississippi State.

If only The Dogs from the West still gave us "Tha Dog Pound Rock" on a regular basis. Such a great tradition. Truly an artform. It would have put them over the top in this blogger's humble opinion.

Hotty Toddy, Old School Style

Vince Vaughn Is Cool

Is it a sign? Is Ole Miss about to go "Old School" on the SEC? A la 1960, Undefeated National Champs? Or, is Vince just a big fan of the best collection of beautiful women this side of America's Next Top Model. Either way, it makes me smile.

Rumor has it that Vaughn could have received this tee from ex-girlfriend and current Oxford resident, Joey Lauren-Adams. Or, Ole Miss could have given it to him for his recent, second half "Hotty Toddy" intro.

Either way, he looks strangely like an aging/disheveled Ole Miss student after a hard fought football Saturday.

Who am I kidding? An Ole Miss man would never leave the house without at least some sort of collared attire.

None the less, it's great to see a Celeb that has his head on straight.

Other than Will Ferrell, is there any cooler guy to share a beer with?

Hotty Toddy, indeed.

By the way, who would you rather have supporting your team? Vince Vaughn...or this turd muffin...

He's really excited about the Buckeyes upcoming season!

Wednesday, August 30

Twas The Night Before Christmas...

It's Like a Five Day Holiday...And I'm Not Even Jewish!

Warning: All Times are Eastern (those pompous jerks)

Thursday, August 31
Time (ET)MatchupTV

6:00 PMBoston College at Central Michigan

7:00 PMStephen F. Austin at Tulsa

7:00 PMTemple at Buffalo

7:00 PMFlorida International at Middle Tennessee State

7:30 PMRhode Island at Connecticut

7:30 PMNorthwestern at Miami (OH)

7:30 PMEastern Michigan at Ball State

7:30 PMMinnesota at Kent StateESPN360

8:00 PMToledo at Iowa State

8:00 PMSouth Carolina at Mississippi State

8:00 PMAlcorn State at Louisiana-Monroe

9:00 PMSacramento State at Boise State

9:00 PMSoutheastern Louisiana at New Mexico State

10:00 PMNorthern Arizona at #24 Arizona State

10:00 PMEastern Washington at Oregon State

10:30 PMUTEP at San Diego StateCSTV

Friday, September 1
Time (ET)MatchupTV

8:00 PMNevada at Fresno State

Saturday, September 2
Time (ET)MatchupTV

12:00 PMNorth Texas at #3 Texas

12:00 PMVanderbilt at #14 Michigan

12:00 PMIdaho at Michigan State

12:03 PMMontana at #16 Iowa

12:30 PMWestern Kentucky at #15 Georgia

TBAAlcorn State at Louisiana-Monroe

1:00 PMIndiana State at Purdue

1:30 PMNortheastern at #17 Virginia TechESPN360

3:30 PMNorthern Illinois at #1 Ohio State

3:30 PMMarshall at #5 West Virginia

3:30 PMFlorida Atlantic at #18 Clemson

3:30 PMAkron at #19 Penn State

3:30 PMLouisiana Tech at #20 Nebraska

3:30 PMStanford at #21 Oregon

3:30 PMMontana State at Colorado

3:30 PMRutgers at North Carolina

3:30 PMSan Jose State at Washington

4:30 PMUtah State at Wyoming

5:00 PMWeber State at Colorado State

5:30 PM#9 California at #23 Tennessee

5:30 PMEast Carolina at Navy

6:00 PMSouthern Miss at #7 Florida

6:00 PMWestern Michigan at Indiana

6:00 PMWilliam & Mary at MarylandESPN360

6:00 PMRichmond at Duke

6:00 PMAppalachian State at North Carolina State

6:00 PMVillanova at UCF

6:30 PMSyracuse at Wake ForestESPN360

7:00 PMUAB at #10 OklahomaTBS

7:00 PMSouthern Methodist at #25 Texas Tech

7:00 PMUtah at UCLA

7:00 PMMcNeese State at South Florida

7:00 PMMurray State at Missouri

7:00 PMWisconsin at Bowling Green

7:00 PMTennessee-Martin at Ohio

7:00 PMMissouri State at Oklahoma State

7:00 PMVirginia at Pittsburgh

7:00 PMCitadel at Texas A&M

7:00 PMHawaii at Alabama

7:00 PMEastern Illinois at Illinois

7:00 PMNorthwestern State at Kansas

7:00 PMAlabama State at Troy

7:05 PMArmy at Arkansas State

7:10 PMIllinois State at Kansas State

7:30 PMEastern Kentucky at Cincinnati

7:45 PMWashington State at #4 Auburn

8:00 PM#2 Notre Dame at Georgia Tech

8:00 PMLouisiana-Lafayette at #8 LSU

8:30 PMPortland State at New Mexico

8:45 PM#6 USC at Arkansas

9:00 PMHouston at RiceCSTV

10:00 PMIdaho State at UNLV

10:15 PMBrigham Young at ArizonaTBS

Sunday, September 3
Time (ET)MatchupTV

4:30 PMMemphis at Mississippi

5:30 PM#22 TCU at Baylor

8:00 PMKentucky at #13 Louisville

Monday, September 4
Time (ET)MatchupTV

8:00 PM#11 Florida State at #12 Miami (FL)

courtesy of those yankees over at ESPN

Tuesday, August 29

Who's Got The Best Rednecks?

One Man's White-Trash is Another Man's Treasure

The South is known for many great stereotypes: Friendly folks, beautiful women, and also great down home eats.

And luckily for me, most of those stereotypes are spot on, but depending on your viewpoint, The South can also leave a somewhat ugly taste in your mouth.

Like it or not, The Redneck is our unofficial mascot.

When some ignorant geek in California or New York thinks about our home, The South, what so often comes to mind? Or, when a Pac-10 Girly Man watches a CBS game, what preconceived notions are being reinforced and by whom?

In the vein of "One Man's Trash is Another Man's Treasure" we need to get to the bottom of this.

Rednecks run rampant and unsupervised in The Deep South. While they serve their purpose (keeping Hardees and Aaron's Rent to Own financially viable), rednecks can also be a drain on our floundering economy.

The evidence shows that Rednecks are responsible for any number of crimes against civilization:

-Pickup-trucks up on blocks ("that there got good bones")
-Miller High Life (Sh#t,Yeah!)
-Wife Beaters in Public (gotta pimp tha new "These Colors Don't Run" tatoo)
-Trucker Hats (wondering why everyone else wears them now)
-Midriff exposing attire with prerequisite gut and/or "front butt" for the ladies
-Crystal Meth
-Cutoff Jorts
-Football Jerseys that say things like "Roll Tide"
-Sports jerseys in general
-Wallet Chains
-Black Tee Shirts
-Tee Shirts with things like "Princess" or "Drama Queen"

These people, who so prominently represent us (Southerners) in film, on
Springer and in national news casts ("Now Bubba, tell us about the train
wreck..."), must be recognized for what they truly are. In no way representative of me/you (you are in fact reading this blog and doing so at a gainful job).

Furthermore, their drunken, unprotected and disease-ridden sexual
transgressions are the ground zero for many of the social ills that plague our
nation. If you were conceived in "The Infield" of Talladega Super Speedway, you might be a Deep South Redneck. Especially if you brag about that fact (unfortunately, those that were, probably haven't heard about this thing called "da enter net")

As you can see, this subject matter fascinates me. That's why I'm working furiously to obtain a few research grants to open the first Southern Institute of Redneck Studies. But which University would be the perfect environment to house such a groundbreaking center like S.I.R.S.?

What SEC school would give me the best petri dish from which to observe the worst and the brightest of the True Southern Redneck (Dixious Rouge-neckus) in its natural habitat?

This question will not be answered in one simple posting. Oh no! This is a complex issue with multiple facets and what not.

Soon we will ranking the SEC schools and their fans in order of their redneckery, and that, my dear friend, is something you cannot afford to miss!

Friday, August 25

Fotoshop Friday

All Auburn Farks Half Off!!!

Are You Ready?

First SEC Kickoff in Six, That's Right, Six Days!

An Ole Miss Fans Opening Concept (strong work)

Another Reason why The Grove is The Top Tailgate in America (great Background Music too)

Thursday, August 24

BlogPoll - The Coaches Poll, Without All Those Ignorant Coaches

DeepSouthSports Joins in on The Vote

Yes, it's finally here. My first stab at the nearly world famous college football poll brought to us by mgoblog.

I'm still a proponent of "watch and wait", but on the other hand, who doesn't like to speculate about College Football? If you don't, then maybe you should go check out some mindless celebrity gossip, you freak.

Why Blogpoll? Cause the coaches don't watch the damn games, I watch the damn games!

Here's the National Week 1 Preseason BlogPoll

And now, a preview of my week 2 poll (read: miseducated guess):

1- Ohio State
2- Auburn
3- Texas
4- Southern Cal
5- Notre Dame
6- Florida
7- Louisville
8- Louisiana State
9- Florida State
10- Miami (Florida)
11- West Virginia
12- Michigan
13- Virginia Tech
14- Georgia
15- Cal
16- Iowa
17- Penn State
18- Oregon
19- Tennessee
20- Clemson
21- Texas Tech
22- Nebraska
23- Arkansas
24- TCU
25- Arizona State

Explorers of the Internet, Gather Round

Lend Me Your Eyes

We seem to be having some technical difficulties with the old template. It appears to favor Firefox, while it takes offense to IE (We at DSS try not to use "The Man's" product whenever possible). If anybody notices anything that ain't kosher about the site (other than the lack of intriguing content, you smartass), please, shoot me an email and/or comment.

Edit: I just said, "screw it" and started fresh with a new template. Still, let me know If any of yall have issues with it.

Wednesday, August 23

"I... Don't Want...Your Life"

Hoover High School Football Practices Self Love in Two-a-Days

Two-a-Days is a look inside the biggest of the big-time in Alabama high school football. Hoover thinks that their team is God's gift to the AHSAA, and they might be right.

Here's the preseason poll for the 2006 season...

Class 6A

Rank School 2005 Pts.
No. 1 Hoover (27)*** (14-1) 333
No. 2 Daphne (13-2) 216
No. 3 Prattville (1) (11-1) 190
No. 4 Davidson (12-1) 163
No. 5 Tuscaloosa County (12-1) 143
No. 6 Homewood** (15-0) 129
No. 7 Opelika (12-2) 125
No. 8 Foley (8-2) 69
No. 9 Murphy (10-2) 50
No. 10 Oak Mountain (10-4) 42

***-2005 Class 6A state champs.

**-2005 Class 5A state champs.

Those top two schools (Hoover and Daphne) have won all six of the most recent Class 6A (largest division) State Championships. Hoover has won 5, and Daphne...1.

MTV has decided to take these already overly cocky high school kids and make them into reality tv pseudo-celebs. I can't wait to hear the jackassery that spews from their young, impressionable pieholes.

And, don't forget the parents and coaches!

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and that is certainly true in this suburb.

Remember that cute little scene in Varsity Blues (An MTV Movie) when all the dads are leaning on the fence watching practice and saying stuff like...

"That boy ain't half the G.D. Quarterback I was." and "Sh#t, dem boys haven' da time of they lives!"

Be prepared for a lot of that kind of craptacular commentary.

Don't worry though, MTV and their team of reality show writers (an oxymoron) are the real stars of the show. They get paid to make this show fit the stereotype that they find most interesting.

Yes, It should be quite a spectacle. A
detached from reality, redneck and over the top view of southern high school football. MTV, not to mention 50% of the country, thinks red states like Alabama are backwards and ignant, and they'll do their damndest to package that up for you.

Being that I've done time in the urban sprawl known as Hoover and still live a safe distance away, I think I will thoroughly enjoy this latest MTV offering.

Hey, it couldn't be any worse than Pillow Biter NEXT, Room Raiders and Date My Mom. At least these kids will pretend to have family values.

Season Premiere - Wed, Aug. 23 @ 9:30 Central - MTV

Two-a-Days @ MTV
Aiming For Perfection @ Sports Illustrated
Hoover Alabama @ Wikipedia
The Preseason High School Top 25 @ S.I.

Friday, August 18

Photoshop Friday

This is the first installment in a new series where DeepSouthSports will be featuring a freshly acquired photoshop gem every Friday. Enjoy.

PhotoCredit: MZone

Thursday, August 17

Maurice Clarrett Responsible for Unrest In The Middle East

Lawyer: Clarett has ties to alleged Israeli mobster

This Clarett case is just getting too bizarre to ignore. In my wildest dreams I couldn't have come up with an awesome scenario like this.

Michael Jackson, John Daily and O.J. Simpson have all weighed in on the situation and are saying that Maurice is one F'ed up dude. The writers of 24 and The Sorpranos are furiously taking notes on these latest developments.

ESPN Reports that the former Ohio State running back had an interesting working arrangement with
an Israeli mobster/Sugar Daddy. Allegedly this Hebrew Al Capone supported Clarett during his "down time" until he would start getting paid by an NFL team (House In Malibu, BMW, etc...). In exchange, Clarett would pay 60% of his NFL contract to said mobster jackass.


Unfortunately for Maurice and his evil backers, Maurice sucks at football. M.C. was one of the Denver Broncos first cuts of the 2005 preseason, and now he's out of the game forever.

I doubt this is what the Israeli gangsters had in mind. Yeah, I bet they're pretty pissed off...

Who do you blame here?

Obviously Maurice didn't get the memo. Everybody in the NFL knows to steer clear of those shady Middle Eastern Gangsters types. Duh! They're usually bigger soccer fans, anyway.

But what about the Israelis? What the hell were they smoking? Investing in Maurice Clarett is about as masochistic as employing M.C. Hammer as your financial advisor.

PhotoCredit: MZone

I've Got A Fever... And The Only Prescription Is More Finebaum!

The Paul Finebaum Interview

Sports Illustrated has named it one of the nation'’s top 12 radio shows of its kind. The Nashville Tennessean has labeled Finebaum the fourth most-influential powerbroker in Southeastern Conference sports.
So what the hell is he doing calling me (Erik from Homewood)?

I guess he had some time to kill between mental giants like Phyllis from Mulga and Shane from Centerpoint. It is a five hour show.

Here's the file on Mr. Paul Finebaum - Bio - Website - Wikipedia - EDSBS Interview

And Now... Paul and Erik tackle...

The Top 5 Wives of the SEC - The Interview (windows media) -
The Source Article

This is a preemptive "So Sorry" to Kim and Dennis Franchione

Wednesday, August 16

Clemson - Most Awesomest Place In The Ultraverse

On the strength of this promotional video, I say we drop those Vanderbilt nerds and pick up a real university. Clemson is Hot, Hot, Hot!

Plus, then The SEC would have two Death Valleys and three Tigers. It doesn't get much sweeter than that.

Is Phil Fulmer About to Get Munsoned?

It seems The DeepSouthSports' Most Hated Coach in the SEC, Phil Fulmer may end up getting munsoned sooner, rather than later. seems to believe that we can put a fork in Phil, he's done.

But wait!

Phil's 6 Division Titles, 2 SEC Championships and 1 BCS Championship should keep his corpulent noggin off the chopping block for a few seasons...Right?

Fat chance, Phil.

No, the fans and media have increasingly short memories, and it seems you're only as good as last season's record (5-6).

When you're down and out, you really find out who you're friends are, and I think it goes without saying that NCAA Chairman Myles Brand will not be receiving his holiday Tennessee Pride Sausage platter from this jolly ole football coach.

Screw it...More for Phil and the girls.

NCAA, you do not want to piss off the sausage boy!

HT: Thanks, Rob

Tuesday, August 15

How Do the SEC's Mascots Stack Up?

Golden Tornado Weighs In with "The Only Analysis That Matters"

Nathan, over at Golden Tornado, has come off sabbatical with a vengeance to give us his long awaited SEC Mascot Analysis: Part One and EDIT: Part Two.

So far, so good, as the SEC has scored relatively high on Nathan's patented "Suck Factor Scale."

How do the other conferences rate?

The PAC 10
The Big 10
The Big 12
The Big East

What we now know about The SEC:

  • A new found respect for Pork
  • The Auburn War Eagles (As Dubbya put it) would be a lot cooler
  • We've got way to many Bulldogs and Tigers
Can't wait to see what Nathan says about Ole Miss and the mascot "issues." Not that there's anything wrong with that...

From left: "Whoops, I Dropped the Soap Reb" and "Gay Pride, Personal Trainer Reb"

I think we know now know why these options were resoundingly rejected.

Hell, I guess they're better than LSU's new, more original mascot. You be the judge...

Polly Prissy Pants says "Geaux Bengal Tigerssss!"

Sunday, August 13

This Is A Public Service Announcement

Isn't MS Paint grand? (click to get the full effect)

DeepSouthSports is getting a little bit of a makeover.

It has come to our attention that the web address was a tad bit difficult to remember (especially for the elderly, and the retarded).

Yes, some folks are not hip to the "Blogspot" scene, so we broke the bank and purchased (drum roll, please)...

Wow...I know. It's clean, concise and pops off the tongue!

Why "dot net"?

Cause we don't want any part of the whole "dot com" fallout. Plus some a-hole already snagged the "dot com" version for illegal sports gambling purposes.

Now I don't have to tell people,

"Dammit, just go to google and search it."

It's the path of least resistance, and that's what we're all about here at

Danke Shen

I really want to thank all of those who made this the best week ever for DeepSouthSports (A huge understatement).

I'll certainly work to live up to the hype this Football Season, and it should be one hell of a ride.

Thanks again to all the great readers/commenters, as well as the incredible sites/blogs that have hooked me up:

Paul Finebaum

If you enjoy quality sports commentary and beautifully styled 80s power ballads, definitely check these guys out.

And, if you're wondering what the hell I'm making such a stink about, gander at this graphical representation of my visits this past week...

The Green represents my hits, while the purple represents Phillip Fulmer's career

Back to life...Back to mediocrity! Now, I'd appreciate it if you all would start referring to me as Rob Van Winkle.

"This Blog Rocks, yo! Go Gators!"

At least I know the formula:

Beautiful Women + SEC Football + Steve Perry = HITS!

To say Thanks, I'll give you a clip from one of the greatest movies of my generation. I couldn't find the Danke Shen clip so you'll have to settle for Twist and Shout. And, don't try and read those subtitles...They'll only confuse you.