"The Blindside" Trailer - Don't Cry at Work

I'm somewhat impressed. I thought it would be a trainwreck, considering Orgeron is directly involved. He doesn't exactly have the Midas touch when it comes to acting or, well talking. Who knows though. Trailers can be very deceiving.

The director and producers didn't seem too overly concerned with messy details like authenticity and realism since they filmed the "true story" of a kid from Memphis and Ole Miss in Atlanta and GA Tech. However I'm sure the ghettos of Atlanta are pretty much interchangeable with crapholes of Memphis. The only part of Briarcrest Christian School (my high school's rival/bitch) that comes through on the big screen is their colors ("Crusaders" or "Saints"...same thing).

I'm wondering what Michael Lewis thinks about the fluffization of his best selling novel, other than "Dolla, dolla billz, yall" cause no matter what, it's gonna make some serious cash...a la Paul Blart, Mall Cop "We are...Marshall."

Alright, count me in, and bring the Kleenex.

State Attempts to Bust Balls

And it looks as if they've succeeded

The above billboard is naturally a reference to Derek Pegues' Mississippi State punt return for a touchdown that completed a 14 point, fourth quarter Egg Bowl comeback against the worst team in the SEC. Ok, the billboard is funny. It's smartass as hell, and I can appreciate that. I also appreciate that they've slapped one of these things up on I-55 as close to Ole Miss as possible (Batesville). Credit. I wish more schools would talk shit in this fashion.

If you're confused as to the play they're referencing, I've got a youtubes for you. The Rebs should be embarrassed, but damn. This highlight video attempts to make me weep about the Bulldogs comeback victory over The New England Patriots The 3-8 (0-7) Ole Miss Orgerons. This is your watershed moment?



I didn't see any special-ed kids winning the hurdles...nor did I see a long lost kitten reunited with a wounded solider. WTF? (Maybe Ole Miss can make one of these end-of-"Rudy" type videos if/when they beat Vandy at home this season!)

Ole Miss fans might even well up a few tears of joy watching the above clip, as it marked the end of the illustrious Shrimp Boat Capitan Orgeron era.

What would be the predictable Rebel counterstrike? Ole Miss' fans question this "character" of which Crooms speaks. (See: 1 , 2 , 3 or 4 or 5)...

Nutt Busts onto The Scene In Oxford

Houston flew into to Oxford town today to lead a revival like nothing seen in these parts since The Lacoste Shop opened online. With all the verve of a big tent, Baptist preacher (who may or may not have been R U N N O F T at his previous stop), Houston looked right at home in the pulpit as he rallied the faithful with plenty of standard-issue, requisite coachspeak.

Who am I kidding...He looked about as comfortable as a man who got caught by his wife sending oh...say 1000 some odd text messages to some random news-skank.

Especially when a stuffy, British sounding, piss-in-our-kool-aid type gunt/reporter lady asked Coach Nutt if he really thought he deserved to be the highest paid employee at the University...(Nearly $2Mil a year)

What a buzz killing, socialist whore, right?

THIS AIN'T INTERMURALS, SISTER! She can take all that "integrity," "academics" and "perspective" talk and shove it up her flat, unsweetened tea drinking ass. This is Football in the South, and Houston's gonna lead us to tha promise land... or probation. Either one.

Giggity Giggity AMEN!


"Judge Not! Lest Ye be Judged. Can I get a Hotty Toddy!?!"

[watch or read the whole danged press conference]

Ole Miss Hires A New Brand of Crazy: Houston Dale Nutt

Ole Miss after Firing Cutcliffe: "We will not accept mediocrity!"

Ole Miss after Firing Orgeron: "Yes, I'll have the mediocrity please, medium-average...Looks scrumptious, yes! With a side of Crazy...and the Refried Scandal. Thanks!"

I have to admit, I'm not exactly thrilled with this hire and I'll tell you why. I wanted a young head coach from the lower levels with fire and ambition and a great spread offense...oh and no baggage. Somebody with tons of upside. Somebody that the fans of his current school would fight hard to keep. Someone who was loved by many.

That's why I made my list. I had these visions of up-and-comers like Paul Johnson, Brian Kelly and or even taking a risk on a great young guy like Chris Hatcher.

Not some retread with outstanding lawsuits and Clintonian affairs.

Then again, Ole Miss is getting a guy who is proven to be...eh pretty good, which Ole Miss administration will take right now. The "Safe" pick to save their asses.

Is he on the up slope...or the down slope? I think that's yet to be determined. I don't want to hear any of this, "Who else you gonna get?" or "But you're Ole Miss?" This was an easy chance to reel in a "9" or a "10" but Boone and Khayat quickly settled on a "6."

1.8 Million a year can still get you a whole lotta coach, if you're smart.

Thus the same attitude that causes rival fans to say, "What was Ole Miss thinking firing Cutcliffe?" now causes them to say, "That's a good hire, Ole Miss." Yeah, it's good for you. It's non-threatening.

Yeah, he might win 7 or 8 games, but it's been proven that Nutt's not gonna win the conference or go to a BCS bowl. Hence the whole "no upside" thing.

In fact, Nutt was the longest tenured coach in the BCS conferences to never go to a BCS bowl. That's MY Coach! Would you like him to be your coach?



Just for shits and giggles, here are a few of my message board post concerning the coaching search in the last few days. You'll see how I went from utter putrid disgust at the thought of Houston Nutt to Denial, to bargaining to admittance, to acceptance...now I think I'm in recovery or something. Is this how Heroin addicts feel?


Why the hell would Boone do that? - Yesterday at 3:56pm

what a moron. does he know how stupid he'll look? Why would we hire another SEC program's garbage? DUMB DUMB DUMB. Way too much baggage and he WILL divide the fan base more than ever.

Ole Miss needs a fresh start...Ole Miss doesn't need that a-hole.

They're chasing him out of Fayetteville like nothing I've ever seen - Yesterday around 5pm

You don't think their's a reason behind that?

Half our fanbase already doesn't like him (not so with guys like RN or Kelly or PJ or Chris Hatcher)

He put his dick out there to get a 5 star QB and then completely effed it all away and lost a great offensive coordinator.

He's scandalous.

He's a joke (much like Orgeron).

He's batshit crazy.

He's never won an SEC title in ten years at a school that has no in state competition and a relatively rich recruiting base.

He's got the two best running backs to ever share a backfield and he can't beat the likes of Alabama, and Kentucky or do anything legitimate by them.

Fact is, The Arkansas fans don't care that he left... - Last Night

...that should bother the ones of you who claim to be not-so-wooly.

He went on a hot streak to end the season. LSU was susceptible. Shit, Bama almost beat 'em the week before they lost to UL-Monroe. Ed Orgeron put up 500 yards on their #1 Defense. WTF?!

Nutt is a hot name right now BECAUSE of McFadden and Jones. If he finished the season like he did last year, with three straight losses even having the great RBs (not to mention his 4-7 2005 season) Nobody would give him the time of day.

But pulling one out against LSU in the last game of his Ark career, sheeit, he upped his offers about 1 Mil a year.

It's incredible, it's foolish and it's kneejerk.

Don't even try to compare him to Orgeron. We've proven that Dinardo would win that battle handily. Yeah, Nutts not a bad football coach, but neither was David Cutcliffe.

Cut just wasn't getting us where we want to go.

There's no upside with Nutt. You guys think that Nutt, with less of a recruiting base, less big money around him, at less of a traditional power...you think that Nutt's gonna have equal or more success?

Naw, I'd much rather take a chance on a guy who didn't get run out of town. This choice is crazy, and makes Ole Miss look like little brother to effing Arkansas.

Pros and Cons - This Morning, When It was Inevitable

Pros:

-He stayed at a school for 10 years. That's gotta count for something.
-He's been to Atlanta a few times
-He owns Mississippi State
-He beats Auburn and Alabama more often than Ole Miss does
-He's charismatic?
-7 bowl games in 9 years (soon to be 8 of 10 if they let him coach it)

Cons:

-He's scandalous
-He previously coached at a divisional rival (and it's not like Ole Miss stole him a la Tuberville)
-He only had one 10 win season and that was last year
-He's never won anything more than a cotton bowl
-He's not exactly known as a great recruiter
-He's only won 2 of those 7 bowl games
-He's already got the fanbase divided
-Hog fans are not worried about seeing him go (have I said that before?)

Later, I'll atempt to convince myself that Nutt can do a better job at Ole Miss than he did at Arkanasas, and that his best years are ahead of him. Hope Houston Dale proves me wrong.

Hot Damn, Yaw yaw, giggity giggity. It could be worse...

How Eddie O Lost The Egg

First Things First

If you don't know...Ole Miss was up 14-0 on Mississippi State with roughly 9 minutes to go in the fourth quarter, in Starkville. Orgeron, like the genius he is, goes for a fourth down conversion close to midfield and doesn't get it. 17 points later, he's 0-8 in the SEC. Below are a few ways a head coach can effectively eff a game away. Enjoy...

1. Obviously the 4th down call was a mistake and it hurt OM bad. Turned the tide actually.

2. The Fake Punt that didn't work. Luckily it didn't hurt but if OM were playing a team with some actual offensive talent, it would have.

3. The Kick offs were eff-me-in-the-ear horrible. At least kick it deep ever once in a while.

4. The crap ass line drive punts were obviously killer.

5. The poor clock management going into the first half - OM should have had a shot at a field goal.

6. Allowing O.C. Dan Werner to play call like a scared 11-year-old girl down the stretch (what happened to the Brent Schaeffer bootlegs and the misdirection?) He also abandoned the spread and went back to the worthless "I" formation.

7. Allowing D.C. JohnThompson to abandon the attacking style that had kept State on their heels all night.

8. Not finding a way to score more than 7 point in a first half that saw 2 State first downs.

Piss poor. Ole Miss has the talent, now they just need the coaching. Teams with far, far less talent than Ole Miss would have found a way to put up at least 21 in that first half.

3-9 in year three (Coach 0-8 in the SEC).


"Coach..Coach! Yeah, thanks. Just wanted to ask you quickly why you think you're so not good at your job?"

Edit: YAW YAW YAW YAW...YAW YAW FIRE-ED!

- Orson (EDSBS), one of The Orgeron's biggest fans, sums things up beautifully here.
- My list of replacement (designed with Ole Miss in mind)

A Metaphor for the Ole Miss Season

Classic Message Board Fodder by "An Old Standard"at NAFOOM.com

Cause sometimes you just need to honor a classic message board post that seems to capture the moment, and, ever so eloquently, sum up the thoughts of a fanbase. I'll never look at Bebe (The Orgeron's Cajun nickname) the same way. This post comes to us from an Ole Miss fan in anticipation of the "big CBS game" this weekend between his 3-7 Rebels and #1 LSU...not to mention the huge Egg Bowl coming up in Starkville.

Pissin' In The Hot Tub

We were drinking one night at an apartment complex in Starkville. One toolbag drunk kid who was friends with someone we were staying with has brought home a classic Starkville skank. She’s got a beer gut (with belly-button piercing), a bad blonde dye job, acne covered with caked on make-up, all the intelligence and charm of a cow patty and dresses in a manner that can best be described as 10 lbs of meat in a 5 lb sack. The guy has been talking s**t all night, trying to start fights, taking fruity shots and talking endlessly about how much of a badass he is and how much tail he can pull. He owns at least one windsuit and wears it on a regular basis, guaranteed.

They disappear from the apartment together. Later, we discover that they’ve stripped down and are getting down in the apartments’ hot tub. Upon seeing this display, my friend RW (smoked out of his brain) stumbles down to the side of the hot tub, largely unnoticed by the happy, naked couple. When the guy finally comes up for air, it’s too late. RW has dropped his pants and is taking a piss into the hot tub. They both freak out, jump out of the water and scurry off. RW shakes, zips up and goes back upstairs to puke in the bathtub and pass out.

LSU is the douchebag guy. The delusional legend of his own mind, drunk with his own perceived greatness (and lots of Hot Damn), but mostly just a pain in the ass to everybody else. State is the girl who lives with constant self-esteem issues, but covers it up with make-up and wine coolers. Every now and again, she stumbles upon someone whose beer goggles match her self-image. She sees such drunken hook-ups as validation of her beauty and the start of long-lasting happiness. However, it always ends in tears when everybody sobers up.

And then there’s us. Stumbling through life only half awake with nothing in front of us other than a fade to black until all the self-inflicted poisons wear off, so we can start the road to recovery. But, before our time is over, we can do the rest of the civilized world a great service by putting the annoying couple in their place.

For the rest of the season, it’s all about pissing in everybody else’s hot tub of love. It's time for Bebe to crank the shrimp boat up to ramming speed and take some of these assholes down with us.

- An Old Standard

Wow. It's like a suicide note and a Lou Holtz pep Talk all in one. It's a thing of beauty. Major credit, Mr. Standard. I'd start a slow clap, but I the whole slow clap thing is pretty gay these days (NTTAWWT).


Who wants a golden shower?!? Miles? Anyone?

Various Other Sundries

Things I'm thinking about this Monday (other than work)...


photocredit: James Bryant

Ole Miss is Sofa King Bad!

I came to Oxford, I saw Ole Miss/Arkansas, I sharted my khakis.

Everything on the trip was great except the product on the field. Ole Miss was so bad we had a Brent Schaeffer sighting under center. Ole Miss was so bad, they turned off the scoreboard and "Jumbo-tron" for a majority of the second half*. Ole Miss made Arkansas looked so unbelievably good that Houston Nutt just got a contract extension. Well, maybe not that last one, but the others are true. Ole Miss is the Tampa Bay Devil-Rays of SEC Football.


Was I the Only One Who Saw This?

College Gameday in Lexington Kentucky, Best Sign:

Picuture of Kige Ramsey's mug with caption: "Tim Tebow has Anorexic" (major credit to the first to find a screen cap of said sign)


This Youtube is so Germans

I'm sure you've seen it a few times...Chaz Ramsey, Auburn's true-freshman offensive Ninja, attempts to end Glenn Dorsey's career with a text book hi/low, karate-chop block to the side of the knee. Even the biggest Auburn homer can't deny it after watching this "indisputable" footage.



I'm not gonna go as far as to say he was ordered to do it or taught to do it, but it just looks awfully deliberate to me. Like he couldn't have tried harder to eff up Dorsey's knee. Oh...but Tuberville says it wasn't intentional.

"Chaz clearly had a seizure on the left side of his brain which caused him to fall down...and block to his right...I mean, I'm no doctor, but...It's science."

Fake Lou is So Much Cooler than Real Lou


I'm feeling confused, yet strangely motivated - Hat Tip: Matt


More Great Officiating


The Unfair Catch

Finally, Congrats to The Dores!


Just pretend this guy is saying, "Go Dores" (best I could do on short notice)



*actually, the half-time fireworks show (at 3pm) knocked the power out in the stadium for an hour or so.

The Orgeron - Man of the People

The Devil Went Down to Mississippi

As you've probably heard, Ole Miss coach Ed Orgeron isn't exactly the touchy-feely kind of "Mark Richty" coach that some would hope for. He's an in your face, tell it like it is, 4 red bulls-a-day, no excuses, old-school, crazy-assed defensive line coach who doesn't have time for your bulls**t.

So when some punkass five-year-old comes up to Ed at his son's little league baseball game looking for a "Coach O" autograph on his Florida Gators hat (excuse me?), Orgeron does what any of us would have done...He basically tells that kid to F**k off.

This is a letter to the editor of the Oxford Eagle. It appeared in the print edition but was unavaiable in the crappy online edition.

Mother Unhappy with Coach O's Actions

This summer, our family was at a little league baseball game at Batesville, and Coach Orgeron was there. Many children stood in line to get an autograph from this arrogant man. Unfortunately, my five year old was one of many who waited.

He waited until the game was over, so as not to bother him while the game was going on. He stood there waiting with his Florida Gator team hat (the five year old that is). When his turn came, he was very rudely turned away by Orgeron. He told my son he was not going to sign his hat because it was a Florida hat.

My five year old had no idea why he was denied by this person, who must have been a great man because everyone was standing in line to get his signature. The look on my child's face when he turned around to walk away, hanging his head, would have made any real man sad.

My heart hurt so bad for my little man. My mother always told me, "Give a man a little power and his true character will appear". Coach Orgeron's true character was seen that day, to be sure. Coach Orgeron is the little man, and that day my son walked away the bigger one.

A mother whose heart hurt that day,

Sally Summerman

Wow. Way to keep your rep, brah. That kid can s**t in his hat for all I care. I'm actually surprised Orgeron didn't slap the Gators hat off that little punk's head and call him a "traitorous pussy."

On the flip side, way to go, Sally. Way to think it through. Real smart calling out The Orgeron. Yeah, try not to sweat with fear as you start your minivan in the next few weeks, months or years. Next thing you know, Sally Summerman's gonna have a one-on-one fiddle playing showdown with The Devil.

HT: Nafoom.com Messageboard

Mindless Morning Youtubery

Apparently the 4-8, '06 Ole Miss Rebels Were Really The '72 Miami Dolphins



This compilation of Ole Miss' 2006 season really gets me pumped up for the weekend...even though it's pure communist propaganda. It's amazing how good an 8 loss team can appear on a highlight reel. It is wrong to admit that I kinda enjoyed that Creed song?

Breaking Ole Miss News:

The Orgeron Moves Brent Schaffa to Wide Receva



Word out of Mississippi is that Orgeron has officially given up on the former 5-Star quarterback, Brent Louisville-Slugger Schaeffer. What a long strange trip it's been for the first true freshman to start on day 1 in the SEC since Bear Bryant died.

Supposedly, Brent wanted to make the move. And in other news, Lindsey Lohan wants to go to rehab.

So let me get this straight...

- Ole Miss now has a former 4-star duel threat QB starting at tight end (Robert Lane)
- And a Former 5-Star duel threat QB at wide out (Schaffa!)
- All the while, A 3-star kid (redshirt sophomore Michael Herrick) who broke John Elway's California high school career passing record is riding the pine while we wait for him to blossom and/or hit puberty (he's got size 13 feet though)
- And a 4-star Texas transfer (Jevan Snead) who can't, by NCAA rule, hit the playing surface until fall 2008.
- Not to mention the backup running back (Bruce Hall) was a 3-star QB signee at Wake Forrest.
- Oh Yes...All of The Rebels hopes and dreams are tied to A walk-on QB that couldn't even crack the starting lineup at Delta State (Seth Adams).

That's strong...to quite strong? Eli who?

Nutt, Orgeron on The Hot Seat

So Says Some Scrote with an Excel Spreadsheet

According to the guy/girl over at CoachingHotSeat.com, Houston Nutt is #1 while Ed Orgeron is sitting at #5 on this hottest of the hot seat list.

Yeah...I'm callin' bullshit.



Any hot seat list that doesn't begin and end with Sylvester Slytanic Crooms is an Abomination. An Embarrassment. A Farce. (He's #13???) If you need a reason, just talk to any...literally any MSU fan for 5 minutes (If you can find one).

The aforementioned website predicts a 5-7 record for the Hawgs. Really? Darren McFadden's left testicle is good for at least 5 wins. When you throw in Felix Jones and the rest of the team, anything is possible.

After predicting another 4 win season for The Orgeron, he/she goes on to say,

"Memo to Pete Boone (OM AD): David Cutcliffe is a terrific football coach"

Really? really?!? Wow. That's odd. How many Head Coaching interviews/offers/opportunities has Cutcliffe been mulling over since he got canned? Most "terrific football coach" types at least get one look. Maybe "terrific quarterbacks coach" was what you were reaching for.

Then Nostradamus lays this knowledge on us:

"THE BOTTOM LINE

Ed Orgeron will be looking for a new job in December 2007."

How bout "No," Scott. As funny as you think the Coach O song is and as unintelligible as The Orgeron seems to be, there are a lot of folks sold on the talent he's bring in (read: Jevan Snead: QB, 2008) Orgeron's not going anywhere soon.

I wouldn't touch him. Seriously...He'll effin kill you.

SEC Reality Shows

Have you ever thought that your school and/or football program needed a reality show? Of course you have. Otherwise, you wouldn't be at work checking a college football blog in July. So, assuming the consent of the football program (a slight assumption), these are the shows I would pitch to the networks, and I would make billions.

SEC West:



Alabama - Bama's Back? - The Rise of Sabanism

Lets start off with an easy one. How could this not be a #1 hit that makes American Idol look like watching C-SPAN at your grandmother's quilting convention in Jasper.

What would the over/under be on the number of the fan's, media and administration's children that Saban would eat per episode? And you thought Rush Probst was an egomaniacal asshat. After reading Saban's Itinerary, I'd be watching this 24/7 a la The Truman Show.

Plus, seeing Saban's cranium explode after his first loss to Houston on homecoming would take me to a very happy place. It would appear on Fox, but with Saban's filthy mouth, it would be much better suited for Showtime.


Auburn - How Big is Your Love?

Kenny Irons stars in a Bachelor-esque reality show where they pit 7 "average" ladies against 7 small midget dwarfs for all of Kenny's love and affection. The city of Auburn would host the spectacle and there would be plenty of mud wrastlin', 7 on 7 football and dates to whatever bar currently occupies the locale formally known as "The Blue Room." Obviously, this would appeal to the VH1 crowd that somehow embraces Flavor of Love.


Arkansas - Hawgasm

This Telenovela would make everybody in the Natural State forget about The Simple Life (the edsbs archives). The storylines are breathtaking. Character's include Beck Campbell and her Springdale Posse, Diane Nutt, Donna Bragg, Frank Broyles, Gus Malzahn, Darren McFadden, Dick Nut Johnson and that dips**t with the Arkansas fan poll... Why? Cause Arkansas fans are as crazy as Bama fans without all that old timey "Tradition" in the spank bank. In essence, this would be the only show in town, and what a magnificent multi layered show it would be.

Hawgasm would play out like a true life Pulp Fiction, with all the characters doin' they own thing until they come together in the end at Manhattan's Downtown Athletic Club for the Heisman Presentation...But when the curtain flies back...It's Coach Nutt, Beck Campbell and Lee Corso in how do I say...An unorthodox formation...playing a lively game of naked tag! And in the closest Heisman vote ever, the Award goes to Brian Brohm. WTF?! America's not ready for this brand of reality yet. This would certainly be a Telemundo exclusive.


LSU - Everybody Hates Les

Could this guy be anymore of a dickass turdface? All I know is he's a public relations nightmare, and he would make great TV. (Not that LSU fans care about any of that s**t - They'll piss all over you) Lester's assault on Hayley LaFontaine was truly something to behold. Yes, this walking, mouth-breathing bobble-head has all the cockiness of Saban and all the smarts of Gump. A lethal combination...unless you're looking for ratings. Which we are.


Mississippi State - The Slytanic

How to lose a Black SEC Head Football Coach in 60 Days. Lets face it. Things aren't exactly hunky dory in Starkganistan. This is Sly's 4th season in at MSU and the Bulldogs haven't tasted Bowl since Y2K when hell froze over (literally) in Shreveport. In fact, they haven't even won more than three games in a season! More importantly, there are Zero signs of improvement on the horizon (read: recruiting) Everybody wants Crooms to succeed real bad (at least they used ta), but this isn't The Post Office, and he's gonna have to show us something on the bottom line to even sniff year 5.

Basically, the show would revolve around how the administration is going to try and save face in this inevitable s**t storm of a firing. Sharpton, say what?


Ole Miss - The Courting of Jerrell Powe

Will this story ever effing die? This might make for a better novel than reality TV show. Jerrell Powe, the most sought after high school player that the state of Mississippi has produced since Marcus Dupree is trying for the old "third time's the charm" bulls**t. Jerrell has been denied college by the NCAA twice and now the Ole Miss administration is getting sick of all these shenanigans. Even his Momma, the one who's supposed to be forever in his corner, was callin' bulls**t on Jerrell. She was quoted as saying something along the lines of "That Mother F**ker Can't Read, Y'all!"

Needless to say, it was an ugly scene and made all the papers. Illiteracy issues aside, this show is a producer's wet dream. Plus, anything that involves The Orgeron is good for you and good for TV. If you ever thought that The Program needed a Reality based sequel, this show is for you.


Orgeron is money in the bank