Blogging: My Evil Temptress

I've been meaning to do this for a while. Previous readers have inquired, "what has happened?"


some light background music while this post melts your face

As I browse through the frivolous, detached good times I've enjoyed at this URL since 2006, there are many things I will miss about blogging.

The creative outlet, the cordial back-and-forth amongst fans, the ivory tower from which to objectify coaches wives, embarrass young athletes and shed a penetrating light on the glut of chromosomally-challenged Tiders. Wow. That stuff was a veritable Jelly-o-the-Month-Club (the gift that keeps on giving, all the year round. AKA: comedic gold), but I digress.

I started this gig, a young buck of 25. I was recently unemployed and some might say rudderless. I was looking for an avenue; a reason to get up before 11am. Blogging was my full time job, and I pumped out one, maybe even two blog posts a day, mind you. We're not talking, "Here's a funny youtube clip of another drunk bama skank". We're talking in-depth opinions, actual thought and a lot a "Top Ten" lists. (always a crowd pleaser)

Then things took off. Finebaum took notice, Matt Stafford happened, Alana Collete Connell, Saban, BFOTW, etc. Business was good. Real good. I even earned a few psychotic, comment stalkers and over 1K hits per day.

Did I say good? Actually business was not good, because minor-league blogging doesn't pay.

Call me the "Crash Davis" of the Blog-o-sphere.

Yeah, I was in the show. I was in the show for 21 days once - the 21 greatest days of my blogging life. You know, in the show you never ask to come on Finebaum's show, somebody calls and asks you. It was great. You get linked on deadspin like every other day, your comment threads take on a life of their own, the hotels all have room service, and the women all have long legs and brains.

Ok, those last two don't apply. Even so, it was time to move on. My life was changing and the blog suffered. But instead of putting DSS out of its misery, signing the DNR and getting on with life, I drug things out. Clinging to the good ole days, like some pseudo-journalistic Brett Favre type asshole.

To do this thing right, it has to be your calling, your lifestyle. Unfortunately, that lifestyle doesn't play nice with the non-internet world: A career, a wife, a kid, not being fat. Something had to give. It was fun while it lasted, but as you know, all good things...

So here we are, saying "good bye". Let's be honest. We've all seen this post coming. It's a mere formality now. Some call it "closure".

Don't think you've heard the last of me though. I'll be around. While you're here, visit the "Best of" DSS to your right and remember me fondly.


In closing: The original BFOTW Stud, looking not awkward

Bama Fan of the Week

As if this party wasn't already white-trashy enough...


RTR!!!

Who's the Freshman?

Shots from Ole Miss Two-A-Days

courtesy of the fine photographer at Rebelsports.net


One of these massive gentlemen is a true-freshman OT hopeful while the other is a senior, first team All-SEC OT. Who's who? No cheating, a-hole.




Greg Hardy (86) motions as if to say, "Come hither, young quarterback...for this day, I dine on your soul!" In the background, Jerrell Powe (57) looks on as if to say, "Note to self: I heart Twinkies."



"Wonder what would happen if I ate my mouthpiece?"



Many douchebag cajuns seem to be taken aback by the supposed homoeroticism of the simulated QB/Center exchange prominently displayed on the cover of the SI CFB preview. WTF? Cause LSU fans are so manly and all...


I guess you could call that "manly," in a way

The Kige Party

Phil Steele's Daddy Gives His SEC Picks




Wow, Kige. Don't ever let anyone tell you those dramatic, mind-numbing pauses aren't killer! And just for the record, I believe Alabama likes to be called "the Crimson Tide"...there was no need for a dramatic pause right there, but you pulled it off beautifully.

Damn you, Kige! Just when I thought everything was going The Rebels' way (Phil Steele's pick, the SI cover, Massie and Tig are in, ) you throw the old wet blanket Ole Miss' season. Talk about locker room material.

Stud Bama Fan of the Week

A reader submission, captured in the wild...


Daniel says, "note the hair"


How could I not note the hair? An impressive specimen indeed. RTR!!!!1

Two posts in one day...you're welcome.

"More Hype, Please"

Sports Illustrated - click for a better version and more regional covers

I'm thinking it's time to just embrace the hype with open arms. There's no use fretting over stuff like this anymore ("Does the SI Curse apply to regional covers, or is that the Madden curse?") Be it the top 10 Coaches/SID ranking, the Houston Nutt cover or the reality show. At this point, does it really matter? When does the law of diminishing returns take hold? Maybe Ole Miss goes all "Princess Bride" on that ass. Rebs are to Hype as Westley is to iocane powder.


Bama Fans: "Another cover for Ole Miss? Inconceivable!?!"



["Inconceivable?" Who am I kidding. In the interest of authenticity that caption should read something like "Ole Pi$$?!? Bauuull-****!!! Hey, shut dat damn baby up, I's tryin' to cook meth in here, ya b***h!"]

Phil Steele: Pre-Season God Of Obsure Stats

Steele brings the funky knowledge that Lindy's and Athlon can only fantasize about. What I love about Phil's mag, is that in this day and age of extreme CFB oversaturation, where we pretty much know 5 minutes after our favorite safety prospect blows a .114 in a stolen car while driving without a license, and the mugshot is subsequently hitting 112 different blogs within the hour...In days where we get constant videos and in-depth reports of every spring practice and at least two first-hand accounts detailing any situation where a 4-star recruit may or may not be scratching his balls.

"Could it be Crabs?! Does his baby's momma know??"

In days such as these, I love that Phil Steele actually manages to tell me stuff I don't know about my team. You know...The one I'm obsessed with. The one I already spend countless hours wasting productivity senselessly studying and dissecting meaningless BS. And he does that for all 119 fanbases out there. Plus the neanderthal followers of Ohio State.

You gotta respect that.

I was at Publix yesterday picking up some bacon, and I happened upon Steele's SEC Preview. (I tried to finagle a copy a couple months ago "as an SEC blogger/promoter" but Steele's email Nazis weren't buyin' it...something about actually updating the site???)

Anyways, In his "Best Case/Worst Case" stat he talks about close wins and close losses from 2008.

I find it interesting that last season, Ole Miss' best case scenario was 13-0 (because the Rebs never got beat by a large margin) and our worse case was 7-6 (because they only won two close games: Ark and Florida)

On the other hand, Alabama's best case is 12-2 (their actual record) because they had two big losses to close the season. Their worse case was was 9-5 as they had three close wins (Kentucky, LSU, OM).

What are the chances of Alabama achieving their best case scenario again? Usually the truth lies somewhere in between worst and best. These people calling for Alabama to go 12-0 again (#5 in the coaches? how so?) are effing crazy. In my mind, they're like Mississippi state in 2008: The year before, all the breaks went their way, and they made the Liberty bowl. Well, the next year, the ball didn't bounce their way near as often. (4-8)

Ole Miss won 2 of 6 close games last season. Lets say win conservative 4 of 6 (.667) this season. I'd be ok with a 10 win regular season.

Again, if you want real insights into college football, look no further. If you want to rely on a bunch of glorified PE Teachers who don't watch the games, don't do their homework and most of the time don't even do the effing voting, check out the new pre-season USA Today Poll.

LSU at #9 above Ole Miss, really??

"The Blindside" Trailer - Don't Cry at Work

I'm somewhat impressed. I thought it would be a trainwreck, considering Orgeron is directly involved. He doesn't exactly have the Midas touch when it comes to acting or, well talking. Who knows though. Trailers can be very deceiving.

The director and producers didn't seem too overly concerned with messy details like authenticity and realism since they filmed the "true story" of a kid from Memphis and Ole Miss in Atlanta and GA Tech. However I'm sure the ghettos of Atlanta are pretty much interchangeable with crapholes of Memphis. The only part of Briarcrest Christian School (my high school's rival/bitch) that comes through on the big screen is their colors ("Crusaders" or "Saints"...same thing).

I'm wondering what Michael Lewis thinks about the fluffization of his best selling novel, other than "Dolla, dolla billz, yall" cause no matter what, it's gonna make some serious cash...a la Paul Blart, Mall Cop "We are...Marshall."

Alright, count me in, and bring the Kleenex.

Man of the People

"F%$& that, lady. No, I will not shake your icky, nicotine encrusted, yellowy hand. Although, I looove that purse...where did you get it!?!"

"Welcome to The Nicest Hotel in Birmingham, AL"

"Congratulations...You've got lice."

hat tip: Team Speed Kills

Overheard in the lobby of The Wynfrey at Media days:

"Is you still a virgin if you sex ur sister?"

Need more pictures of unemployed media day groupies.

Seriously?! The guy on the left is an SEC head coach?

Peyton poses with a star camper at the recent "Manning Passing Academy"


WTF? And Yankee NFL fans make fun of Elisha for looking like a douchey little brother?

"Um...Love what Layla's done with the place, Lane."

[Clay Travis]

The Kige Party: Masters Edition

"A Tradition Like Any Other"

Kige has really come into his own lately. He's like a young Dave Rowe paired with the wit and timing of a seasoned Harry Caray. Enjoy...



[halpert @ nafoom]

Crack Rock for the Rebel Soul

RebelFootball2000 put together this heart warming 2008 compilation, which is almost bittersweet as we toil though the spring and summer doldrums. As the cherry on top of this video's awesomeness, how uplifting is that totally wholesome and pure 1980's synthesized motivational music?


NFL QBs Beware: Peria Jerry (#98) is a bad MOFO

Oh, and here's the 2009 version of the Rebs (minus the freshmen) on the second day of Spring-ball, preparing to dominate what has to be the easiest SEC football schedule every assembled Thanks, Pete...

[insidethegrove]

Who Wouldn't Want to Spend 5 Years With Nick Saban?

When Saban doesn't get a recruit, he in no way acts (or looks) like a spoiled seven-year-old, deprived of his "woobie."

As few may know, yesterday was the first day of spring practice for the Ole Miss Rebels, which was open to the public. It just so happens that somehow Beast/Child 5-Star Hargrave recruit, Bobby Massie was in attendance, on the sidelines with the Rebel proletariat.


cameraphone-o-graphic evidence of the aforementioned beast (provided by crazed Rebel fan)

Naturally, Bobby was assaulted with fanboy questions. However, one question in particular yielded some interesting bits of tid:

He was asked to give a good Nick Saban recruiting story, and he had a pretty good one to say the least. Bobby said he called Coach Saban the night before signing day to let him know that he was going to sign with Ole Miss. Bobby did not even inform the Ole Miss staff that he was going to be a Rebel until the night before signing day, per Bobby, but he did say, "I had a pretty good idea where I was going in December."

Anyway, Bobby calls Nick and Coach Saban stops him before he tells where he is going and said this, "Bobby, do not even tell me where you are going, because if you are not going to Alabama I am turning you into the NCAA. You know you have a chance to start at Alabama at right tackle as a sophomore, and nobody would turn that down unless they did something illegal."

Bobby was stunned. He said he just listened to Coach Saban rant and never said another word about it. He was offended to say the least. That is why he made such a scene at the press conference when he threw the Alabama hat on the ground and put on an Ole Miss hat.

"A chance at starting Right Tackle as a Sophomore with the ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDE"!!! Excuse me while I soil myself. How did Massie ever resist that tricky little leprechaun?

Damn it's a great time to be a college football fan in the South. Especially with Dr. Evil living and working just down I-20/59. Even though Nick closed out with one of the strongest signing days in the nation, apparently the world is not enough to satisfy the Prince of Darkness.

[Note: I've confirmed the validity of this "rumor" with the source, as it was told, by Bobby, to a dozen or so fans/media at the first spring practice.]

Update, March 3: According to Ian Rapaport, Bobby denies it...Kinda. He admits he's read the post, but he doesn't go into detail about what is true or false. He does admit talking to Saban the night before signing day (like it says above), and he does admit that he never told Saban he was going to Ole Miss (like it says above). He just says "my words got switched around," so take that for what it's worth.

Sounds to me like someone at Ole Miss asked Massie to kindly "shut up" and put this in the past. I'm thinking young Bobby just learned a valuable lesson in fan/media relations.

Holy Crap (the remix)

If you haven't seen the original, uncut version of this assault on intelligence, well check here. All I can say is "WTF?" Throughout the Rodger Clemens hearings, the Free The Hops effort here in Alabama and crap like this, it's a wonder our government can manage to wipe its collective ass.

U.S. (really?!?) Congresswoman Corrine Brown

Corrine's Wiki

"How'd your big pro-day go, Andre?"

My first Lol-effort. You're welcome. A bigger (nightmare fuel) image, if you dare.

- The story
- the "i can has cheezburger" original

Bama Fan of the Week - Ninjin' Edition

I usually hate stuff like this, but this dude is effing impressive. He takes over-the-top redneckery and turns it on its ear...whatever the hell that means. He's everything "the cowboy" wants to be when he grows up...



[ridgereb84]

Texas Comes Strong With The Oklahoma Smack...

This is a revelation. The Big XII is making fun of itself, and doing a damn fine job. Funnier than anything I've seen on SNL lately, those no-talent-ass-clowns.

Laughing at Stoops' Pain

click to enlarge

How To Beat Florida

by Houston Nutt

Son of a bee-sting. I can't get enough of those highlights. Yep, some of the best plays of the season that Holly, over at EDSBS, strangely left out of her 2008 highlight video?

[HT: SSMUND]