Racist, Barner Cops Entrap Simeon Castille

Tuscaloosa Police Department Hates America

Castille, 21, was charged with disorderly conduct and booked into the Tuscaloosa County Jail at 3:30 a.m. He made $500 bond and was released at 4:25 a.m., according to jail records.

What could possibly explain this rash of recent arrests under the Nick Saban regime? 4 football players in 5 weeks?!? Certainly, this is not just a lack of discipline or good judgment on behalf of some overly-entitled college kids. No, this is much, much more...

As one enlightened tider said on The Opening Drive this morning, "Simeon is a model citizen...Them Tuscaloosa police need to get they priorities straight...I ain't tryin' to say anything, but there may be some other schools involved in this..."

Ya Damn Right! These so called "officers" are certainly not "protecting and serving" Alabama football.

Let's set the record straight before we attemt to taint a highly decorated member of the pre-season All-SEC First Team. He's got a Crimson Tide All-American preacher of a daddy in Jeremiah Castille...A good Tider brother in Tim...He went to Briarwood CHRISTIAN school...he's a team leader. He's even a founding father of Saban's groundbreaking, and completely not bullshit "Peer Intervention Group." Simeon would never do anything to hurt UAT.

Surely Simeon just took a break from his study group at two in the morning to offer Designated Driver services to some of his morally ambiguous teammates. That's the only explanation that makes sense here.

Obviously, there is a Big Blue hand in all this. What better way to hurt the tide than send undercover Barner fans to infiltrate the elite forces of the Tuscaloosa P.D.? It might take years to earn the Tider's trust, but it'll be worth it. Those Auburners knew they couldn't beat Saban in a fair fight, so I guess they'll just try and bring him down from the inside. It's genius. Who here hasn't seen "The Departed?" Surely the flagship university's highly educated fanbase will piece together this nazi-esque plot. (Tuscaloosa is to Occupied France as the football team is to the Juden) Case in point:

An eye witness account (that was told to somebody who posted it on a messageboard which was then intercepted by rolltideroll.com. Good as gospel)...

Simeon and Rashad were at a club with their girlfriends. As they were all leaving Simeon and Rashad were wrestling with and trying to pull BJ and Caldwell out of a car. Simeon was pretty loud and two cops came running up and grabbed him. They cuffed him and pulled his wallet out and while Simeon was trying to tell them he was only playing. The cop with the wallet looked at the other cop and said sarcastically "should we call the coach"? The informant said the other cop stated "nah, let him find out through the newspaper." They arrested him for disorderly conduct. None of the other players or girlfriends, who were all black, wanted to talk to the cops, both white, for fear of being arrested too. So Simeon was carried off to jail and held for about four hours.

And I thought we had made so much progress as a state and a conference. These evil, racist, cartoonish Auburn sympathizing police officers have set our state back decades and should be castrated. I'm surprised Saban hasn't dropped the charges and at least fired these two rogue, barner honkies.

Next thing you know it's gonna be,

"Hey there's a Football player conversing with a white woman...here, plant this dime bag that boy's pocket...Oh, and War Eagle."

Related:

AL.com Coverage
Tidefans Messageboard Meltdown!