Monday, August 20

Racist, Barner Cops Entrap Simeon Castille

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Tuscaloosa Police Department Hates America

Castille, 21, was charged with disorderly conduct and booked into the Tuscaloosa County Jail at 3:30 a.m. He made $500 bond and was released at 4:25 a.m., according to jail records.

What could possibly explain this rash of recent arrests under the Nick Saban regime? 4 football players in 5 weeks?!? Certainly, this is not just a lack of discipline or good judgment on behalf of some overly-entitled college kids. No, this is much, much more...

As one enlightened tider said on The Opening Drive this morning, "Simeon is a model citizen...Them Tuscaloosa police need to get they priorities straight...I ain't tryin' to say anything, but there may be some other schools involved in this..."

Ya Damn Right! These so called "officers" are certainly not "protecting and serving" Alabama football.

Let's set the record straight before we attemt to taint a highly decorated member of the pre-season All-SEC First Team. He's got a Crimson Tide All-American preacher of a daddy in Jeremiah Castille...A good Tider brother in Tim...He went to Briarwood CHRISTIAN school...he's a team leader. He's even a founding father of Saban's groundbreaking, and completely not bullshit "Peer Intervention Group." Simeon would never do anything to hurt UAT.

Surely Simeon just took a break from his study group at two in the morning to offer Designated Driver services to some of his morally ambiguous teammates. That's the only explanation that makes sense here.

Obviously, there is a Big Blue hand in all this. What better way to hurt the tide than send undercover Barner fans to infiltrate the elite forces of the Tuscaloosa P.D.? It might take years to earn the Tider's trust, but it'll be worth it. Those Auburners knew they couldn't beat Saban in a fair fight, so I guess they'll just try and bring him down from the inside. It's genius. Who here hasn't seen "The Departed?" Surely the flagship university's highly educated fanbase will piece together this nazi-esque plot. (Tuscaloosa is to Occupied France as the football team is to the Juden) Case in point:

An eye witness account (that was told to somebody who posted it on a messageboard which was then intercepted by Good as gospel)...

Simeon and Rashad were at a club with their girlfriends. As they were all leaving Simeon and Rashad were wrestling with and trying to pull BJ and Caldwell out of a car. Simeon was pretty loud and two cops came running up and grabbed him. They cuffed him and pulled his wallet out and while Simeon was trying to tell them he was only playing. The cop with the wallet looked at the other cop and said sarcastically "should we call the coach"? The informant said the other cop stated "nah, let him find out through the newspaper." They arrested him for disorderly conduct. None of the other players or girlfriends, who were all black, wanted to talk to the cops, both white, for fear of being arrested too. So Simeon was carried off to jail and held for about four hours.
And I thought we had made so much progress as a state and a conference. These evil, racist, cartoonish Auburn sympathizing police officers have set our state back decades and should be castrated. I'm surprised Saban hasn't dropped the charges and at least fired these two rogue, barner honkies.

Next thing you know it's gonna be,
"Hey there's a Football player conversing with a white, plant this dime bag that boy's pocket...Oh, and War Eagle."

Related: Coverage
Tidefans Messageboard Meltdown!


  1. Ah yes, the OD. I was listening this morning. In between Jay's constant stuttering, and stammering to find more ways why bama can do no wrong (including Castille in this instance), they mentioned what was in the 100% unbiased Birmingham News paper this morning. They said that Simeon merely, said something to a passing car. The nasty popo decided to pick on him. When he told the University 5-0 who he was, they responded with, "Oh, one of Saban's boys. We'll see what he has to say about you being arrested." They then took him in.

    Personally, I smell Fulmer's stench all over this. After the past several years, bammers have made it clear that UT is their biggest rival. Auburn is just someone they have to play b/c they're both in the SEC West.

  2. My little brother grew up with Simeon knows him well. This was nearly identical to the story he heard hours after the alleged incident took place.
    "COPS GONE WILD" would have been an approriate headline for the story on

  3. You actually buy that explanation, anonymous?

    That thread on Tidefans is as bad as anything I've ever seen on Gene's Page or the Spirit.