SEC Power Poll - Erik's Ballot - Week 3

UF - Class of the East

1) LSU - Like a well oiled machine. Tops in all three phases.

2) Florida - Much like LSU, but with a young, sub-elite defense. Impressive win over the Vols. I would dare say that the offense is more effective this season in the post-leak era.

3) Kentucky - Large drop-off at this point, but Kentucky is a very dangerous team. Crazy I know. They remind me of the Eli led Ole Miss team that went 7-1 in the SEC in 2003 on the power of a deadly offense. Best QB in the league with a defense that is good enough to keep the Wildcats alive in a shootout. Great win over slightly overrated yet top 10 Louisville. (Kige's take on his team's big win)

4) Arkansas - How do I rate Arkansas here after a loss? It's a power poll. (If the Colts had lost a close one in week two of the NFL, do you drop them to the bottom half?) It's still "who's the best team,"regardless. I'm still a believer after a three point loss, with a slow start in a hostile environment. Never doubt Darren McFadden.

5) South Carolina - Didn't find out much about The Cocks this week. Solid, but need to show some real Spurrier-worthy offense and run-it-up on somebody.

6) Alabama - Strong offense. Suspect defensive front 7. Not much has changed here. The defense looked even more suspect this past week against the best rushing threats in CFB.

7) Tennessee - My buddy David wanted me to make sure, no matter what, to mention the super stud that is true-frosh, DB Eric Berry. (newsflash) Eric Berry is Fantastic. If Darren McFadden was a defensive back, he would be Eric Berry (good enough?) He even made the almighty Tim Tebow look foolish on an interception return for a TD. Despite the awesomeness of Eric Berry, The Vol defense put up about as much of a fight as one of Bret Michaels' groupie-skanks on "Rock of Love."

8) Georgia - Wow, how bout Troy taking Okie State behind the woodshed too. Kinda takes some of the shine off Georgia's big victory doesn't it? Kinda like when your fat, sloppy, ass-faced buddy starts talking about his "mediocre at best" hookup with one of your top conquests.

9) Vanderbilt - I may have them ranked a little low on the poll, but on any given Saturday these Dores could beat any team south of # 2. Defense is pretty weak, but if the Commies get a few breaks/turnovers they can really hurt you. Unfortunately, Vandy is usually the team doing the breaking/turning-over. Any SEC win by two touchdowns is a good win.

10) Mississippi State - They're going to have to win games on defense like they did against Auburn. Henig lasted 3 games this season (broken hand or wrist or something) which is a record for the wee bulldog QB (Seriously, that's him on the right). Anyway, who's next in line to get "Croomed?"

11) Auburn - This team is just broken. It can be fixed this season, but it's gonna take some time (read: losses) If the fans can stay off Tuberville's back, he can turn it around. The Iron bowl is all that matters at this point.

12) Ole Miss - I've always tried to give Orgeron the benefit of the doubt (supposed Cutcliffe induced talent deficit), but I got to see things first hand this weekend up in Nashville and it's damn UGLY. Worst offensive play calling I've ever seen courtesy of Dan Werner, and the Defense...The Defense couldn't cover "Jesse's Girl."

Thanks as always to Brandon at Garnet & Black Attack for sponsoring the SEC Power Poll and keeping us all on task.

Mindless Morning Youtubery

Can you find the Notre Dame Quarterback?

Clausen For Heisman

Jimmy Clausen is an absolute badass on the gridiron and he will get all the praise and highlights he deserves. Here's a little clip that some Irish fans put together to showoff their prized recruit with his veritable cornucopia of skillz and abilities...



I would usually feel somewhat bad about making fun of a mere 18-year-old kid, but the little spiky-haired prick had his college commitment announcement at the College Football Hall of Fame. He can go suck himself.

By the way, I'm no Notre Dame hater (really just dislike Jimmy a lot) but the Irish are 0-3 with nary offensive touchdown. Major credit.

The Orgeron - Man of the People

The Devil Went Down to Mississippi

As you've probably heard, Ole Miss coach Ed Orgeron isn't exactly the touchy-feely kind of "Mark Richty" coach that some would hope for. He's an in your face, tell it like it is, 4 red bulls-a-day, no excuses, old-school, crazy-assed defensive line coach who doesn't have time for your bulls**t.

So when some punkass five-year-old comes up to Ed at his son's little league baseball game looking for a "Coach O" autograph on his Florida Gators hat (excuse me?), Orgeron does what any of us would have done...He basically tells that kid to F**k off.

This is a letter to the editor of the Oxford Eagle. It appeared in the print edition but was unavaiable in the crappy online edition.

Mother Unhappy with Coach O's Actions

This summer, our family was at a little league baseball game at Batesville, and Coach Orgeron was there. Many children stood in line to get an autograph from this arrogant man. Unfortunately, my five year old was one of many who waited.

He waited until the game was over, so as not to bother him while the game was going on. He stood there waiting with his Florida Gator team hat (the five year old that is). When his turn came, he was very rudely turned away by Orgeron. He told my son he was not going to sign his hat because it was a Florida hat.

My five year old had no idea why he was denied by this person, who must have been a great man because everyone was standing in line to get his signature. The look on my child's face when he turned around to walk away, hanging his head, would have made any real man sad.

My heart hurt so bad for my little man. My mother always told me, "Give a man a little power and his true character will appear". Coach Orgeron's true character was seen that day, to be sure. Coach Orgeron is the little man, and that day my son walked away the bigger one.

A mother whose heart hurt that day,

Sally Summerman

Wow. Way to keep your rep, brah. That kid can s**t in his hat for all I care. I'm actually surprised Orgeron didn't slap the Gators hat off that little punk's head and call him a "traitorous pussy."

On the flip side, way to go, Sally. Way to think it through. Real smart calling out The Orgeron. Yeah, try not to sweat with fear as you start your minivan in the next few weeks, months or years. Next thing you know, Sally Summerman's gonna have a one-on-one fiddle playing showdown with The Devil.

HT: Nafoom.com Messageboard

Various Other Sundries

LSU is taking care of business...in the front

The Link Dump

- Garnet And Black Attack puts together The Week 2 SEC Power Poll. It's unanimous...LSU is the ass handing, chest thumping, wife stealing Bill Brasky of College Football. At least until next Saturday (who wants to bet LSU doesn't allow MTSU 45 points this weekend?)

- The LA Times kicks off the BCS drama extra early this season with mention of a USC, LSU and Oklahoma hate triangle.

- Some elderly A-hole crashed his mini-van into the goalpost during a high school football game in Wisconsin over the weekend. This just reinforces my belief that driving tests should be given to seniors starting with their 80th birthday. How many football games have to ruined?

- Kentucky Fans Rejoice! The Round Mound Of Touchdown, The Battle Ship Lorenzen, J-Load, The Pillsbury Throwboy, The Hefty Lefty (AKA Jared Lorenzen) should...if not for some unforeseen disaster (like complications from Gastric Bypass) be starting his first NFL game next week for the New York Giants.

- On the flip side, Ole Miss alum Eli Manning is going to miss the first start(s) of his career. Eli's out for at least a month with a "slightly separated shoulder." He is seeking a second opinion from Uber-Ortho, James Andrews here in The Ham. This really blows, cause Eli looked great in the opener. I was looking forward to Eli shutting up all those critical yankee a-holes. I guess that's an impossible feat though (they hate freakin' A-Rod).

- More Kige, anyone? Reader, Blake sends me a link to what is undoubtedly Kige's best non-sports related take to date. (wish he would delve into pop culture more often) As you can tell from Kige's lifestyle, he is so over the Hollywood scene and people like Nichole Richie.

BlogPoll - Erik's Ballot - Week 2

The Cream Is Rising...Hint: The Big Ten Is Not Involved

Rank	Team	Delta
1	LSU	2
2	Florida	1
3	Southern Cal	1
4	Oklahoma	4
5	West Virginia	1
6	Louisville	2
7	Georgia Tech	3
8	Penn State	3
9	California	--
10	Nebraska	3
11	Arkansas	6
12	Wisconsin	7
13	Texas	2
14	Tennessee	12
15	Oregon	11
16	South Carolina	10
17	Texas Tech	7
18	Clemson	6
19	Rutgers	2
20	UCLA	6
21	Ohio State	5
22	Missouri	1
23	Hawaii	4
24	Washington	2
25	Georgia	18

Dropped Out: TCU (#14), Texas A&M (#18), Auburn (#20), Kansas State (#22), Miami (Florida) (#25).

Fark This!

Strong Work from Newcomer Respect The Cocks - Very nice gunt-shot of Charlie

The Kige Party

"The Slyfox" Goes 12 for 12 On Sunday

He may not be picking against the spread or anything like that, even so, what an amazing way to start the season. Apparently The Kige is like "Rain Man" in more ways than one...



What's more important, is that I've finally found a good link to Kige's radio interview he did recently for Houston's 1560 The Game. Here Kige talks about "The Studio," his love life and what's in that damn notebook.

SEC Power Poll - Erik's Ballot - Week 2

1) LSU - I think we all knew Va Tech was not a top 10 team, but LSU made them look like Tennessee Tech. LSU is damn near a lock to win the West.

2) Florida - Great offense (49 points in the first half) but the defense allowed Troy to put up 30?!? Most of it was garbage time. None the less, it's unacceptable.

3) Arkansas - They win this spot by default. They didn't lose this past weekend. They didn't even play. Congrats.

4) South Carolina - I know it sounds crazy, but who else do you put up here? Spurrier's voodoo worked on Richt and his Dawgs. The Cocks didn't look overly impressive but they won a tough SEC road game.

5) Tennessee - This Vol team is just kinda uninspired. Ainge is playing well, the backs are running well. The defense is just average. There just seems to be something missing. The jury is still out on this team.

6) Kentucky - This offense is the read deal Holyfield. The D sucks. That could cause some issues vs. Louisville, but newsflash: The 'Ville's Defense sucks too. Look for Andre' 3000 & Co. to pull the upset this weekend at home in Lexington.

7) Alabama - Saban still hasn't played anyone of note, and his team really hasn't looked too convincing doing it. Even so, the Tide is 2 - 0. They earn this position by default. Sara Jessica Parker Wilson rolled up an amazing 150 yards passing against the highly respected Vandy defense.

8) Georgia - After making us all believe in week one, UGA lays a stinky turd with a four field-goal loss against The Cocks. Who knew? Spurrier said it best when he said, “They’ve actually lost five in a row to Eastern Division opponents. Kentucky and Vandy beat ‘em last year.” Ouch, Head Ball Coach. Very ouch.

9) Auburn - Phil Steele is laughing all the way to the bank. Preseason, he ranked the Tigers just outside of the Top 40 (# 41) and he earned the ire of the Plainsman nation. Well, it looks like Auburn should live up to expectations.

10) Ole Miss - The Ole Miss defense gets lit up by the spread offense. In other news, Germans land on the moon. Even so, Ole Miss had it's best offensive performance since the Eli era (300 yards passing, 230 yard rushing). Vandy is favored by 5 in Nashville for some reason, but the Rebs will be victorious straight up.

11) Vanderbilt - The Commies looked pretty damn anemic against the Tide, plus the refs might as well have been slobbing Saban's knob. Pretty much every big play or touchdown for Vandy was called back because of phantom penalties. Otherwise, Vandy just played like Vandy. Which is not a good thing, mind you.

12) Mississippi State - Credit for beating Tulane this season. Major credit to Michael Hening for keeping both collar bones intact for two consecutive games.


Sorry ladies. Tebow has but one mistress, and her name is Football

Mindless Morning Youtubery

Mascots Gone Wild

Thanks to Larry Brown Sports, we now know that The Oregon Duck mascot will be suspended for this weekend's home game against Fresno St. Apparently The Duck got disrespected by The Houston Cougar and was forced to regulate. No word yet on the involvement of drugs or alcohol. My take: Well, I think it's mighty convenient they waited to suspend this thug until after the big Michigan game. Crazy how he just happens to sit for a non-BCS, WAC opponent. Anyway, here's the incriminating evidence...

Deep Thoughts

SEC Football, Weekend 2

This will be my first solid college football gameday experience of 2007 (no "tool showers" this weekend). Last weekend was spent running rampant, driving throughout North Alabama. Trust me, it's not ideal. This time, I'm gonna settle in for the long haul. Should I bring the whiskey out? We'll just have to see where the day takes us. It's a day full of enticing matchups.

For Breakfast, we've got the Alabama @ Vanderbilt matchup. I've got a few friends of mixed allegiance who will be in attendance so the texts will be a flyin'. Sounds like a fun trip, but the campus of Vanderbilt on gameday is about as much fun as Hepatitis C. Especially when you add in a bunch of these sleeveless a-holes (nice visor, turd). Vandy will look amazing for a half, then they will hand Bama the game with a timely turnover in the forth quarter. Why? Cause they're Vandy. That's why.

For an afternoon snack, we've got South Carolina at Georgia. For some ungodly reason, the line on this game is 4 little points. Did Vegas not see Spurrier struggling with UL-LAFF last week and Georgia deep-tainting the OSU Cowboys? This is going to be butt-throttling like Spurrier hasn't seen in years.

Also at 5pm, we get to see Penn State and Jo Pa punch Charlies Weis square in the Gunt. I'll give him one more year.

Ole Miss v. Mizzou is at 5pm...Yeah, but it's not on TV...at all. Anywhere. How the F, in this day and age, can a football game between two OOC BCS teams not be on some form of visual media?!? Internet? Pay Per View? Mother of God. (Even Miss. St v. Tulane is on TV!) Oh, and the Ole Miss radio feed got switched from my Sirius to XM this season. Thanks you assholes! Like I just bought Sirius for the shitty music and Howard Stern replays. My only saving grace here in Birmingham is that Missouri's radio feed still comes in to Sirius. You ever tried listening to the other teams broadcast? It sucks. Every time they get all excited, you're depressed and vice versa. Don't think I won't sit in my car though. In "accessory" of course. With a cold beer. That's what I call being an ridiculous, obsessively pathetic college football fan.

And the Night Cap will be an ESPN viewing of Auburn v. South Florida. This game is not going to be as close as the crazy assed 7 point line would indicate. Auburn scared a few folks (in a bad way) during the Kansas State game but they're no chumps. They're gonna make improvements and they'll be whipping the over hyped Bulls up and down the field by the third quarter.

Not to be forgotten, The College Gameday locale featuring VT @ LSU. I don't know why this game is getting so hyped. VT is maybe a top 25 team (another reason why preseason polls suck). I know I haven't been too high on LSU, but they are at least a top 10 team. Best case scenario, LSU wins by 35. Worst case scenario, LSU wins by two touchdowns and Les Miles wonders aloud at the post game press conference, "I don't see why everybody's kissin' Virginia Tech ass. I mean, that team sucks balls."


Second-hand Sal says, "Les Miles is embarrassing!"