Friday, September 7

Deep Thoughts

SEC Football, Weekend 2

This will be my first solid college football gameday experience of 2007 (no "tool showers" this weekend). Last weekend was spent running rampant, driving throughout North Alabama. Trust me, it's not ideal. This time, I'm gonna settle in for the long haul. Should I bring the whiskey out? We'll just have to see where the day takes us. It's a day full of enticing matchups.

For Breakfast, we've got the Alabama @ Vanderbilt matchup. I've got a few friends of mixed allegiance who will be in attendance so the texts will be a flyin'. Sounds like a fun trip, but the campus of Vanderbilt on gameday is about as much fun as Hepatitis C. Especially when you add in a bunch of these sleeveless a-holes (nice visor, turd). Vandy will look amazing for a half, then they will hand Bama the game with a timely turnover in the forth quarter. Why? Cause they're Vandy. That's why.

For an afternoon snack, we've got South Carolina at Georgia. For some ungodly reason, the line on this game is 4 little points. Did Vegas not see Spurrier struggling with UL-LAFF last week and Georgia deep-tainting the OSU Cowboys? This is going to be butt-throttling like Spurrier hasn't seen in years.

Also at 5pm, we get to see Penn State and Jo Pa punch Charlies Weis square in the Gunt. I'll give him one more year.

Ole Miss v. Mizzou is at 5pm...Yeah, but it's not on all. Anywhere. How the F, in this day and age, can a football game between two OOC BCS teams not be on some form of visual media?!? Internet? Pay Per View? Mother of God. (Even Miss. St v. Tulane is on TV!) Oh, and the Ole Miss radio feed got switched from my Sirius to XM this season. Thanks you assholes! Like I just bought Sirius for the shitty music and Howard Stern replays. My only saving grace here in Birmingham is that Missouri's radio feed still comes in to Sirius. You ever tried listening to the other teams broadcast? It sucks. Every time they get all excited, you're depressed and vice versa. Don't think I won't sit in my car though. In "accessory" of course. With a cold beer. That's what I call being an ridiculous, obsessively pathetic college football fan.

And the Night Cap will be an ESPN viewing of Auburn v. South Florida. This game is not going to be as close as the crazy assed 7 point line would indicate. Auburn scared a few folks (in a bad way) during the Kansas State game but they're no chumps. They're gonna make improvements and they'll be whipping the over hyped Bulls up and down the field by the third quarter.

Not to be forgotten, The College Gameday locale featuring VT @ LSU. I don't know why this game is getting so hyped. VT is maybe a top 25 team (another reason why preseason polls suck). I know I haven't been too high on LSU, but they are at least a top 10 team. Best case scenario, LSU wins by 35. Worst case scenario, LSU wins by two touchdowns and Les Miles wonders aloud at the post game press conference, "I don't see why everybody's kissin' Virginia Tech ass. I mean, that team sucks balls."

Second-hand Sal says, "Les Miles is embarrassing!"


  1. Instead of bitching about Ole Miss not being on T.V., why don't you just go to the game? Geez, its not that far away, Oxford is supposedly Heaven on Earth to hear you Rebs tell it, and tickets are probably laying on the ground if you don't already have one. But then I guess you may be a little late getting your newest slam on Alabama fans up on the site. Nice way to spend your energy.

    Come on man, think of Johnny Vaught, get your ass to the stadium!

  2. Stephen, that guy has a sleeveless shirt and an upside down visor. He was asking for it.

    Why don't I go to the game? Sometimes Stephen, we married folks have to pick our battles (you probably know something about this). I may not get to go to the Mizzou game but I'll be at the Vandy game this weekend. I may not go to the Florida game, but I'll make the game @ Auburn. Life these days is a give and take. Even during football season i'm learning.