Tuesday, January 30

Super Bowl Ads

Federline's Best Work To Date

Dignity is Overrated

Sunday, January 28

Reason #1837 Why I Love The South

You Think Yankees Could Handle This?

Sunday, January 21

Geaux Saints

Geaux Deuce

Update - 1-22-07: Deaux!

Thursday, January 18

Breaking News: Michael Vick is Not Smart

Herpes Makes You Stupid

There's dumb, then there's Ron Mexico dumb. According to The Smoking Gun:

JANUARY 18--Miami police are investigating NFL star Michael Vick after airport screeners yesterday seized a water bottle from him at a security checkpoint and later discovered that the bottle included a "concealed compartment" that appeared to contain a small amount of marijuana.

Tricky Vick's "water bottle"

According to a Miami-Dade Police Department report, the Atlanta Falcons quarterback was "reluctant to turn over his water bottle during the screening process" at Miami International Airport (the athlete was booked on an AirTran flight to Atlanta).

First things first. What the hell is Vick doing flying AirTran/ValueJet? This genius is in the midst of a 10 year $120 million deal. You'd think he might could spring for Delta business class over the AirTran cattle car. I mean, you've tricked the Atlanta Falcons, you got your head coach fired, so you might as well fly first class, right?

I'm sure this whole thing is just some kind of misunderstanding. He was just holding the water bottle for a friend.

Ode to Senor Mexico:

Thursday, January 11


Ode to a Tebow:

Leaving high school as one of the most highly sought after quarterbacks...ever: Priceless

Signing a football scholarship with your home state Florida Gators: Priceless

Playing like a veteran as a true freshman and winning the love of the Gator Nation: Priceless

Scoring 2 Touchdowns in a BCS Nation Championship Win: Priceless...

The cost us humans would have to pay for the company of this young lady:

A $1,500.00 bottle of champagne

(click to..ahem...enlarge)

Wednesday, January 10

Erik's Season Ending Blogpoll Ballot

Perfection takes Time

1 Florida 1
2 LSU 2
3 Southern Cal 6
4 Boise State 9
5 Louisville 3
6 Wisconsin 5
7 West Virginia 3
8 Auburn 2
9 Ohio State 8
10 Oklahoma 5
11 Michigan 8
12 Arkansas 5
13 Virginia Tech 1
14 Rutgers 1
15 California 9
16 Brigham Young 5
17 Wake Forest --
18 Texas 2
19 Georgia 7
20 Penn State 6
21 TCU 5
22 Oregon State 3
23 Boston College --
24 Hawaii 2
25 South Carolina 1

Dropped Out: Houston (#14), Notre Dame (#16), Tennessee (#18), Nebraska (#19), Texas A&M (#22).

Tuesday, January 9

tOSU is THE Weakest Link

Bowl Games: Buckeyes 0-8 vs SEC

Even Mike Cooper couldn't get excited about last night's game

Loss... 01-02-1978 ... Alabama ... Sugar Bowl

Loss... 01-01-1990... Auburn (AL)... Hall of Fame Bowl

Loss... 01-01-1993... Georgia... Florida Citrus Bowl

Loss... 01-02-1995... Alabama... Florida Citrus Bowl

Loss... 01-01-1996... Tennessee... Florida Citrus Bowl

Loss... 01-01-2001... South Carolina... Outback Bowl

Loss... 01-01-2002... South Carolina... Outback Bowl

Loss... 01-08-2007... Florida... BCS National Championship

Surprisingly enough, Florida's 41-14 victory was not the biggest spanking in this series. Alabama beat tOSU by 29 in the first meeting at the Sugar in '78.

Monday, January 8


Hype This!

BCS, Thank you so much for allowing Florida to play Ohio State in the Championship game.

Florida Makes Ohio St. and their Heisman winner look like Special Olympic Bench Warmers.

Congrats, and Thank you to Gators everywhere. You did the conference proud tonight.

The SEC and it's champion have been disrespected for years:

2003 LSU split Championship after BCS Win
2004 Auburn 13-0

In the DeepSouth, was there ever any doubt who plays the best football?

OSU Stats:

Heisman Winner, Troy Smith - 4-14, 35 yards, 0 TDs, 1 INT, 1 Fumble and 5 SACKS (worst Heisman Performance Ever?)

Total Offense (4 quarters) - 82 yards

Some might think I'm being an ass here. Take a look back at the season and the lack of respect for anyone from the SEC and you might understand why it feels justified.

Even so, at least for the moment...

All is right in the College Football World. Go Gators.

BCS Championship Game

Where's The Hype?

Could Fox do a worse job of promoting the BCS National Championship game? I feel like there has been zero hype this season.

"Why is that, Erik?"

1. ESPN/ABC/Disney doesn't care - because they aren't hosting the BCS anymore. And if they didn't get to show the games, what's the point in covering college football anymore. The Championship is dead to them. They blew their collective wad on the Snoozer we call The Rose Bowl because that was the biggest game they bought. (They ALWAYS referred to it as the "Grand Daddy of them All". As if to say, "We may not have the big game this year, but we don't care...ours is The GRAND DADDY!!! So Naah!") Obviously, Fox has not learned, or doesn't have the avenue, to hype like the used car salesmen at ESPN.

2. WTF? The playoffs are everywhere - The reason the NFL can get away with having the Super Bowl two weeks after the end of the playoffs is because they're isn't another gosh darn thing to watch. (College basketball is just heating up, and the NBA could go on strike for a year and nobody in these parts would even know) However, the climax of College Football gets decapitated by wild card playoff weekend. What a tease! Tonight's Championship game seems to be an afterthought on the national scene, when It should take center stage! Example: USA Today's Sports page has a small article below the fold about "Ohio Coaching Roots" - Who give a rat's?

3. That dumbass ladder climbing ad - Why is the one dude helping pull his teammate up the ladder? IT'S A FREAKIN' LADDER! Use the rungs, A-hole.

Quickly, I don't feel good about it but, you know I'll be pulling for Florida. UF 34- OSU 31.

Free Colette!

Ms. Connell for Mascot

In the spirit of change that Nick Saban has brought to "The University," we thought one more issue needed a little attention.

Make Alana Colette Connell the Official Mascot of Sidewalk Bama Fans Everywhere.

The University of Alabama already has two mascots for their athletic teams, why not have another exclusively for the fans? Kinda like Texas A&M and their 12th Man, right? Something the RV crowd can really relate to and be proud of!

What Does Colette have to Offer?

Well, she was everywhere at last Wednesday's Saban-mania, supporting her team and representing the best of the Bama Nation (read: like a mascot):

- Sporting a beautiful, classic, two-toned "Crimson Tide" inscribed bama jersey

- Spreading her team spirit, like the clap, to all whom she come in contact

- Doing countless interviews for the paparazzi

- Obviously, welcoming Coach Saban in her own special way

- Comforting Nick's wife, Terry

- Taking one for the team (sacrificing herself, so other Tiders could go on to drink-and-drive another weekday afternoon)

- She overshadowed "Sign my Man-boob" Guy to become the biggest story of the day - quite an honor

- Basically, she embodies a stereotype

As if Saban's plane were to sign her crumpled sheet of paper itself, Colette stands ready to support her new coach any way she can...no seriously...nothing's off limits here.

Yes, Colette is a phenomenon, and her resume precedes her. Not only is she great at "Public Relations," but she is also a published and renown poet (from the Tuscaloosa News):

“Praise the Lord, God is so good, Nick is now in the Bama hood."

Seriously, where would we be culturally, without substance abuse? How many amazing rhymes like this one would have gone unwritten without a little extracurricular encouragement.

That is why I say, Free Colette and put her on the sidelines where she belongs.

Alana Colette Connell is seen here "pregaming," only minutes before her alleged assault on Alabama Coach Nick Saban and subsequent DUI arrest.

We will show you today that Ms. Connell is a Model Bama fan; With integrity, class and dignity on par with a great majority of the Bama Nation.

So What if Colette was wasted off her ass before five on a Wednesday?! She's got love for the Tide!

And if loving your team (and your Dickel) too much is a crime, then...yeah..maybe Colette's guilty.

But if Not...You have to acquit Ms. Connell on all charges.

Isn't this video punishment enough?

A Prelude to a Kiss

Friday, January 5

The 10 "Worthless, Classless, Morons" List

The Tide Fights Back Against the Haters

"BABY RUTH!...ROLL TIIIDE!" Are rivals scared of Saban, or is it this guy?

This list is growing by the day. With the spotlight shining squarely on T-town, Bama fans are fighting back in the war of words. These are the 10 most prominent thorns in the Tider's side. According to Alabama fans, most of these folks can barely wipe themselves.

(Some general Bama Fan reaction in quotes):

1. ESPN - Take your pick here: Cowherd, Dan Patrick, Mike and Mike, Ivan Maisel, Pat Forde, Mary May..."Everybody's Classless." The evil Disney empire still has the false impression that Tiders are nothing but a bunch of desperate, good ole boy, redneck, cheaters with unrealistic expectations and financed tattoos of Bear Bryant leaning on a goalpost*.

2. Bill Curry - Former coach that "never won no national champyunship. His opinion don't count."

3. Rick and Bubba - "Dem boys is Barners and they need to shut they fat, classless lip"

4. Miami Media - "Dem Sour Grapes, Ere-body Lies! What they pissin' and moanin' about?"

5. National Media - "What the hell are they talkin' bout? Running off coaches? Who'd we run off lately, other than Fran, Price and Stallings?!? Ain't nobody compairin' coaches to da Bear!"

6. Al Del Greco - "That guy is just a no-talent, jealous Barner! I don't know how a class act like Jay Barker even talks to that dude!!!"

7. Shulas - "Don Shula, Mike Shula and their stupid-ass Steakhouse too. What does Don Shula know about real football or beef anyways?! I took my wife to the Winfrey on our Honeymoon and we've loved that Shula's, but in the last month, they're steak started to suck. They don't even have any tradition. I wouldn't eat there if you paid me Nick Saban Money! I hope that restaurant closes and all them Shulas can go to hell! Classless, Classless, Classless!!! Shooot, I wouldn't even touch, that Sheri Shula with mike price's...well, she is per-ty hawt!"

8. The Atlanta Journal Constitution - "Dem big city boys don't know nothing about Saban. He ain't never leavin' Roooll Tide!"

9. Education Mongers - "Our schools is plenty good...Look what they did for me! What this state really needs is Bama bein' back, baby!"

10. Tigers - Both the Auburn and LSU variety - "Bama's Comin' for ya'. Don't be skeerd!"


I've seen Black Jesus, Black Santa, but never black bear (Note: we couldn't show you his new Saban tat.)

Bama's Butt Buddies:

(New Friends Of The Tide)

Mal Moore - I still say he sucks, he just let the Benjamins do the talkin'. $32 million is like Pot: No salesmanship need. Even so, to the fans, he's the golden boy.

Paul Finebaum - I don't know if the king of Birmingham sports talk has ulterior motives, but lately Paul has become the defender of all things Crimson.

The Crusader of the Capstone. The Prince of the Tide.

Geez...and you think you know a guy.

Paul, If you love Saban so much, why don't you marry him?

Thursday, January 4


In Bama's Finest Hour, One Classy Fan Shines Through

The best part about this whole fiasco is getting to see Bama Fans exhibiting the class and tradition that they are so well known for. Yes, The Proletariat extended their new gun-for-hire a very special welcome.

That brings me to the kissing, hugging, boozing, triple threat that is Alana Colette Connell.

How did I come upon her name you might ask?

From Alana's Tuscaloosa County Jail File for yesterday's DUI arrest, of course.

As the haters would have you believe, Alana was arrested driving away from Tuscaloosa International. Drunk with joy (and George Dickel) on a Wednesday afternoon.

Hard to imagine, I know.

Tuscaloosa County Jail Search


Driving under the influence {32-5A-191} {Class: VI}

Proven Winner: Alana Colette Connell

UPDATE: Jan 5 - DeepSouthSports has stumbled upon some Incriminating Video Evidence

Wednesday, January 3

"I'm Not Going To Be Ignored, Nick"

Bama Finally Gets It's Man: Saban

Who says harassment isn't an effective form of negotiation?


Things I'm sick of...

White (adulterous) Trash?

Used Car Salesman?

Like the rich, old, drunk at Sammy's, Mal finally scammed a stripper into going home with him. Score! I just hope he didn't get something Ajax can't wash off.

How much do you wanna bet that Saban hates his new boss, before he even arrives in T-town.

Ok...Now that's just funny

Who is the raging a-hole that pumps out this crap?

Does anybody else think that Saban backed himself into a corner? Albeit, a very profitable corner. Would Dolphins fans have ever gotten over this if he decided to stay?

Imagine for a second that you said a little something like this to your wife/girlfriend/owner:

"Baby... You know I like you, and that I'm legally/morally committed to you... and the last few years have been pretty neat...but...well, OK, this other chick just got done with a nasty divorce...She's really in a bad place right now...also, she's got tons of money and she's all up on my jock! I don't know what to do!


Does she look better than you?

Well...she's a little used up, high maintenance, and well she's kinda got that former-prom-queen mentality, oh and her Family is insane...but...like I said, she's got money, and I just thought I should talk to her...you know, see what she thinks about our future together.

She really wants me bad, and I just think it would be poor taste to just turn her away!

Yeah, I told her 'No!' several times but she keeps throwing herself at me...It's crazy!

I know, she's, like, REALLY desperate, right?

I hope this won't effect our relationship if I have dinner with her.


The Alabama Job - Rough Equivalent of Sifler's Mom