This Just In: The BCS Blows Ass

I Say Screw 'Em

With apologies to The Lloyd Carr Retirement Party, what a turdtastic New Years Day of College football. Wow, Bowl Gods/BCS Gurus... thanks for putting together such titillating match ups of top tier talent and teams. Behold the once meaningful Sugar Bowl (UGA 41, Hawaii 10) or the has-been respected Cotton Bowl (Mizzou 38, Arkanas 7) or the "Grandaddy" (of poop?), Rose Bowl (Southern Cal 49, Illinois 17). Yes, BCS, directly or indirectly thank you for another huge, steaming pile of crappy dung this holiday season. I needed that.

Maybe we blogging types should spearhead a nation-wide, post season Bowl boycott. Hmmm... Don't watch and don't attend the bowl games for a year?!? Interesting.

Hit those effers in the wallet! Screw them for thinking they can force feed us this processed, punchless excuse for a post-season. College football is the people's game, and these scrote sacks are trying to tell us how it's gonna be. Nonsense! But who is this proverbial "they?"

Contrary to popular belief, the NCAA is nothing more than an organization governed by the combined university presidents. Those same university presidents who constantly beg us alumni and fans for donations, support and attendance.

I don't think I've ever met a fan who can say with a straight face, "No, I think the BCS is the right way to go. It just works. Can't you see?" No. That's total balls and ass, and it was hard to even type.

Why can't the presidents see this as clearly as we fans? I'll tell you why...Those jackholes are thinking "What is better than guaranteed money in hand?" Basically, "Why change...We gettin' paid, son!" Yeah, you'll see this kind of backwards, short sighted, ignant behavior in all aspects of life.

That why so many dumbass are out there buying Certificates of Deposit at their local bank... "Well, I may only be earning 3% interest but it's guaranteed, bitch!" Who cares that the stock market is averaging 12% returns over say the last...forever. Who wants to put their dick out there like that?..."Mutual funds ain't guaranteed and they kinda confusing, right?"

In The SEC, the biggest opponent of a playoff system (proposed by The Florida President at the SEC meeting last spring) was Vanderbilt President (And Founding Tri-Lam), Gordon Gee. Obviously, Vanderbilt (a school that hasn't been bowling since The War of Northern Aggression) potentially has the most to lose from a change. Vandy's struggling pseudo-athletic department gets a much needed kick in the pants after every bowl season when the (oft unearned) pooled bowl payouts are spread evenly among the 12 SEC member institutions. The prospect of no more SEC welfare must be a chilling possibility to these "have nots."

However, if we can somehow guarantee that the Vanderbilts of the world will continue to get their government check on the first and the fifteenth, the sky seems to be the limit (example: guarantee each conference at least one spot in the playoff and spread the money around like normal - What's the difference between that and the BCS?). The NCAA would be printing money.

Just imagine, right now, January 2...after a few rounds of the intensely exciting and lucrative college football playoff, we'd be looking at the most amazing final four in sports...

LSU vs USC and Ohio State vs. Georgia

or

USC vs Georgia and Mizzou vs West Virginia

or who the hell knows...That the beauty of a playoff.

My question is this: Why do we support this crapass system, only to complain about it for the other 11 months of the year?