Wednesday, January 23

Was Gregg Doyel Sexually Abused in Oxford?


It's pretty clear Gregg Doyel of has a little something against the University of Mississippi, where he spent a portion of his childhood. He rants about Ole Miss' supposed shortcomings quite often.

Well, Dorky Doyel is at it again. This time, he's raking a great man over the coals because he can't think of anything else to write about. This weeks attempted victim is Archie Manning.

Doyel is quick to say, Archie shouldn't be stealing his son's thunder. He should just disappear...fade away...

"Archie didn't go away Sunday. He went front and center. On the biggest day of his son's athletic career, the day Eli Manning led the Giants into Lambeau Field and did what no team in NFL history had ever done -- beat Green Bay at home in a title game -- Archie Manning stole the spotlight. If there was another father in the Giants' locker room, I didn't see him. Then again, how could I? Archie was blinding.

He had accomplices, of course. Only the most brilliant thief does it alone, and Archie Manning, for all his football ability, has never been accused of brilliance. To dominate the room, the winning locker room immediately after the NFC Championship Game, Archie needed help. And he got it from the media, who saw him standing there and couldn't help but seek his opinion."

First off, bullsh*t on Archie "dominating the locker room." I sure as hell didn't even glimpse Archie Manning when the Giants were celebrating and accepting the NFC championship.

Even so, when my young, oft-maligned, NFL quarterback son goes and wins three road playoff games on the way to the gosh darn Superbowl, you better believe I'm gonna be right down there in his mug, getting emotional and patting him on the back. Sue me, toolshed.

I certainly wouldn't give a rats ass what some random bleach blond, pube-hair goatee sportin' scrotum has to say about it on Wednesday. In those crazed moments, when your baby boy just beat living legend Brett his house... to win the conference...when it was negative cold as balls, you don't think about what the media might're just there for your boy. Right where he wants you to be.
"Archie has gotten a lot of media mileage out of his kids. If this comes off as armchair psychology, so be it, but I sense something unfulfilled in Archie. He was one of the most talented quarterbacks of his generation, but he was stuck for most of his career on the horrible New Orleans Saints and never played in the postseason. He's not in the NFL Hall of Fame, and it doesn't look like he ever will be. As good as he was, he had disappeared from the NFL conversation."
Wow. Hate to be Debbie Downer, Gregg, but this is a little more armchair psychology for you: Maybe that "unfulfilled something" you sense in Archie, is Archie knowing that his own father was never around to congratulate or applaud when he did good. Archie was 19 when his father committed suicide.

Yeah, maybe he's holding on to his boy a little tight. Maybe he lingers a little long in the locker room. Maybe he cares a little too much. So what? Instead of thinking Archie is somehow envious of his son's successes, try and think about it this way: Maybe Archie's still trying to give his boys another experience he missed out on. Asshole.

To Catch a Predator much?


  1. This guy actually went to Ole Miss? What happened, did he not make the cut during rush? For whatever reason, he's got some burr up his ass with the Mannings (mainly Archie, it sounds like). As an LSU and SEC fan, I'm happy as hell for the all the Mannings.

    I still can't figure out why CBS hires some of the asshats that they do.

  2. **comment hijacking**

    da saints hire da coach o. this saints fan is loving it.

  3. Nice post, Erik. Was this idiot at Ole Miss when Eli was there? Maybe Eli banged his girlfriend on video and then gave it to him as a present or something and he's had a vendetta against the Mannings ever since.

  4. Double K, I doubt Eli and this ginger nob even looked at the same class of women, much less dated (or banged) them. Scrotumhead's bio says he's 36, so I don't think he was at Oxford when any of the Mannings were. This is just more of injecting drama into what is supposed to be sports reporting and commentary.

    Doesn't Doyel remind you of the "child technician" (nanny) in "Jerry Maguire"?

  5. He even looks like a loser.

  6. I read this one. In the column he asked something like "does anyone know what Tom Brady's dad look like?" Yeah, I know it's a rhetorical question, but I'm going to answer: "No, asshole. Nobody does because Tom Brady's dad doesn't have his jersey number as the speed limit on an SEC campus."

  7. This clown didn't go to Ole Miss he coat-tailed on his father who supposedly taught there when he was was a kid. Maybe his ire toward the Mannings is a result of all of the attention Arch got, while his poor worked in anonymity. Archie is a great Dad and I'd much rather see him in the locker room hugging and bragging on his son, than all of the posse members, agents and would be "journalists" digging for dirt.

  8. Who is this guy, Doyel? This is an individual with serious emotional and mental problems. A jealous person, he needs help, seriously.