Thursday, January 17

Tip Drill - Petrino Edition

My thoughts on Various Other Sundries...

I have never really teed off on new Hawg head man, Bobby Petrino like some have thought I should. Actually, I think Gene Wojo, of ESPN, did quite enough of that in yesterday's column (hint: read the 520+ angry razorbacker's comments in less than 24 hours). In Atlanta, with the Falcons, Bobby was kind of (how do I say?) outside my sphere of giving a rat's ass. Kinda like when Saban was at Miami. And interestingly enough, Petrino seems more and more like an offensive minded Saban clone everyday.

What do I mean? Well, Petrino may be the ultimate dick-faced asshole, but as long as he's your dick-faced asshole, it's all gravy, right Arkansas and Alabama fans?

How blessed am I to have such "entertaining" coaches in the SEC West this coming season. It's a gosh dang murderers row out there:

LSU: Les "The Hat" Miles - Won the BCS NC game, and he's rightfully on top of the football world...However, he's still largely viewed as an extremely lucky, high functioning retard.

Alabama: Nick M. Effin Saban - Is there anybody this guy can't piss off? Lately it's the head coach at Brentwood Academy speaking out about what a scrote-bag Saban can be on recruiting visits. Add that to the overflowing "comment box of horrors."

Mississippi State: Sylvester "Made Man" Crooms - Credit for having a winning season in your 4th year. Even so, isn't that what coaches are expected to do? Win?!? Crooms is a career .362, but everybody and their mother seems to treats this guy like he's the second coming of Black Santa Claus.

Ole Miss: Houston Damn Nutt - He's yet to open up his patented can of Arkansas Crazy in Oxford, but I've seen the warning signs. Me thinks Houston's crazy is like a crock pot: It may take a while for that Nutty goodness to bubble up, but when it does...It's on like Donna Bragg in the equipment closet.

Arkansas: Bobby "Pinocchio" Petrino - Damn. Nobody ever gonna accuse the SEC West of being "high character." He sadly takes over Saban's crown as SEC Media Scumbag-Newcomer of the year.

Auburn: Tommy Tuberville - Wow, never thought I'd view Tubs as the least volatile, least controversial coach in the division. Even so, Tommy can still be quite the asshat when things don't go his way.


  1. The East seemed to be the "flash" side of the SEC; now we've got some colorful characters in our coaches to liven things up in the West. Not to mention some developing blood feuds with guys going up against their old programs. CBS and ESPN are drooling for the high drama opportunities (see: last season LSU-Bama).

  2. say what you want about croom, but he inherited a shitbag team with a shitbag attitude. all he's done is seemingly turn things around without (as far as i can tell) offending or lying to anyone. i've always had a soft spot for the dogs and will continue to at least as long as he's there.

  3. Ole Miss could have Charles Manson as head coach and nobody would care. 3-8 is gonna happen anyway.

  4. gerry, what I love about Croom is the image the media somehow got of him that he's a disciplinarian and that his shit doesn't stink. Bullshit. His players get arrested like Brett Michaels bangs skanks. For pete's sake, He had a player sign an letter of intent from the gosh darn county pin!

    artiger, solid analysis as always. It'll gonna be an amazing season to be an SEC fan.

    Stephen, good to have you back in the fold.

  5. erik i don't expect you to have an unbiased opinion of croom. and if you think i let the media form any of my opinions for me you're insane. all i know is what i see from watching the bulldogs under sherrill and now under croom. night and day.

  6. C'mon Erik. I'm no Crimson Kool-Aid drinker, but your link about Saban to another blogger which linked to a story in the Chat. Times-Free Press only held part of the story.
    How about these comments from the same story?

    "He really is a friendly person," said Tyler Love, a touted tackle commitment from Birmingham's Mountain Brook High School. "I've gotten to know him pretty well in the months since he was hired. When I first met him, he wasn't very relaxed, but as time went on, he became more relaxed. On my official visit last month, he smiled and was kind of goofing around.

    "Well, he wasn't goofing around, but he did cut up with some jokes."

    The rest of the story from Potter.

    Once he and Jordan finally met with Saban, Potter found him to be pleasant.

    Jordan used the opportunity to ask Saban if he ever smiled. Saban apparently responded, "I will tell you a few jokes if it will do you any good."

    In early December, Jordan picked Saban's Tide over Clemson,

    "He does have charisma, and he is very organized," Potter said. "He knows what he wants and is very aggressive. He's got a plan, and every move must be according to that plan."

    And from North Jackson's coach Mark Rose who played at Auburn.
    Yet Rose has no problem with a player wanting to play for Saban after working for him at a camp when Saban coached at LSU.

    "I bet I've worked 100 camps in the last 15 years," Rose said. "Normally, the head coach will come out and speak for five minutes at the start when the parents are around, and then you won't see him again until the five minutes at the end. Coach Saban coaches every play at his camp. He goes the whole way.

    "He's a different breed of work ethic. He operates those camps a lot like Coach Dye did. He's not there to put on a show. He's not hugging necks. He's making those players work."

    I get that Nick Saban is a difficult person, probably to work for and be around, but don't exaggerate by posting only part of the story.

  7. It's probably noteworthy to make a little frowny face on the schedule when Arkansas returns to the Plains. The Petrino-Tubs lovefest will no doubt feature some touching moments. I'll bet CBS will even promote the game during daytime TV hours.