Tuesday, June 24

Saban Frees Up Another Scholarship, Process Continues

Johns, Jimmy Wesley

100081495TR071697103/04/2008Seat Belt Required
100081496TR071697203/04/2008Driving While Suspended
$20,000.001Poss of Cocaine
$20,000.005Unlaw dist. cont. substance {13A-12-211} {Class: 2F}
$20,000.006Unlaw dist. cont. substance {13A-12-211} {Class: 2F}
$20,000.002Unlaw dist. cont. substance {13A-12-211} {Class: 2F}
$20,000.003Unlaw dist. cont. substance {13A-12-211} {Class: 2F}
$20,000.004Unlaw dist. cont. substance {13A-12-211} {Class: 2F}

[tuscaloosa county sherrif's office, arrest database]
[al.com story]
[ESPN - Bama linebacker Johns charged with selling cocaine, possessing Ecstasy]

Saban sits in his home-office tapping his finger-tips together, Mr. Burns style, as he unleashes a maniacal, Napoleonic laugh.

"THOSE IMBECILES! I told those newspaper imbeciles that these scholarships were taken care of, DIDN'T I! Ha Ha Ha! What's the loss of a few bricks from my personal stash? There's more yayo where that came from. Don't worry your pretty little head, Ter-Bear. And to think, he was so easily and seamlessly framed. What can I say? I'm THE KING OF THIS STATE!!! I'm the f&%king 4 Million Dollar Man! I'm Nick Saban, Bitch. Ha ha!

WHOOPS! So Sorry, Jimmy. Sorry you had to go down like that, but selfish, thuggish backups such as yourself are a-dime-a-dozen and clearly...so easily disposed of.

TERRY...WHERE'S MY F*&KING GREY SPORT COAT!?! F%$k! I've gotta go do some "damage control"...you know trot out my classic "Relative to Character and The Process" speech and blame it on Shula. HA HA HA HAAAAAA! I F*$KING LOVE MYSELF!"

UPDATE: "And poof. Just like that, he's gone." via ESPN...

It didn't take Alabama coach Nick Saban long to react; he dismissed Johns immediately.

"This type of behavior obviously will not be tolerated, and he is no longer a part of our program," Saban said in a statement.

Johns is the 10th Alabama football player arrested within the last year. (Not including "The Snake" RTR!!!!!1)


  1. this was Shula's recruit - once saban gets them weeded out we'll be ready to roll

  2. You're right...Saban can see into recruits souls. He knows if they'll be bad or good and he obviously keeps his team on a tight leash once they get on campus. I'm sure these types of arrests will start to trail off as he gets character recruits like Julio Jones in the program.

    May Saban Bless you and keep you.