Saturday, August 25

Rough Week for South Carolina

Only a few days after Cocks QB, Blake Mitchell did us all proud once again, Miss Teen South Carolina, Caitlin Upton, further lowered the bar for the next generation in The Palmetto State...

How about a nice, "I blame the terrorists." (and the mic drops) Or...just start a rousing chant of "U-S-A...U-S-A!" That always get the crowd going. I thought she might be back on the right track when she brought up Iraq, but then she failed to mention "those damn terrorists and their weapons of mass destruction." Actually, who am I kidding...She had me at "U.S. Americans." It's almost as if her speaking coach just told her, "When in doubt, just start naming all the counties and continents you can think of...Oh, and say 'such as' a lot."

Why do they ask these lovely young ladies such thought inducing questions anyway? They're called Beauty pageants for a reason.

I recall some old drunk football coach once mumbling something to effect of, "You'll never see 60,000 fans show up to watch a chemistry experiment," and well, you'll also never see 10 million folks tune in to watch uncomfortable 18 year-old girls with their ta-tas taped together talk about national education issues. Why can't we all just appreciate Caitlin for her obvious strong points and forget all that silly public speaking and critical thinking.

By the way, Caitlin was the 3rd runner up. That's right ladies. That girl is better than 90% of you dumb skanks!

HT: Dirty D


  1. About two years ago, I caught how campy and truly, spectacularly gaudy beauty-not brainy-pageants were to enjoy

    And while I usually cringe at uncomfortable situations like this, this one had me howling within seconds

    I asked my friend, "did she really just say the reason these people couldn't find the US on a map is because they don't have maps?"

    And then seconds later, after rambling onto South Africe & Iraq, I asked, "What the living Hell is she blabbering about?"

    And from one of the many youtube vids and comments on this spectacular Crash & Burn, the actual transcript of what she said

    "I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some people out there in our nation don't have maps, and, uh, I believe that our education, like such as in South Africa and The Iraq -- everywhere like such as -- and I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., or should help South Africa, and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future, for us."

    Also, notice how she kept rambling even after her time was up and the bell rang

    Beauty pageants are a greatly under-appreciated entertainment form, and Miss South Carolina is exactly why, it's something no one who watched it will EVER forget

  2. Isn't that A.C. Slater serving as host? I wonder if they let him do a drum solo at some point.