Friday, April 25

My New Favorite SEC Football Player

Jason Cook - he's smarter than you

Typical SEC football player? 5-11, 248 pounds of eff you up?...Check. Menacing stare?...Check.

Jason Cook is a fullback, so like most glorified offensive linemen, we, as typical fans, pay little attention to him (unless he makes a bone-headed play- like that fullback in The Program -or he's Rick Razzano). He doesn't get the ball much and rarely shows up in the box score (hopefully that will change this season cause he's a great receiver out of the backfield).

He doesn't have a ridiculously awesome name (Yeah, I'm looking at you, De'Cody), he doesn't counterfeit bills as to make it rain, he doesn't even talk about himself in the third person, as in "Jason Cook loves to bring the pain."

Until this week, I just figured Jason Cook fit right in with the rest of the questionable qualifiers/big dumb animals...then I read his blog on, and it made me a believer.

“It’s been a long, long time coming but I know change gon’ come. Oh yes it will.” Sam Cooke could not have said it better. There is a natural human tendency to abhor change. Yet during this period of change that we are going through, there is no sentiment of regret or disdain for change. Instead, change has been embraced and appreciated. There is a great feeling in the Ole Miss Rebel locker room; one of liberation and great anticipation of what is to come in the future."

[rebelog - the rest is just as impressive]

ab·hor (ăb-hôr')- To regard with horror or loathing; detest

WTF? This dude writes better than I do...and I can't block a linebacker for s**t. I don't usually count on my vocabulary word-o-the-day coming from a SEC football player either. Turns out, Jason "abhorred" the whole criminal justice/sociology trend among athletes (like Rick Razzano) and went and decided to major in English, with a minor in political science. not only is Jason Cook one of the best fullbacks in the SEC, but his prose would have Faulkner soiling his pantaloons (wrong era?).

All that to say, Big 10 Commisioner Jim Delaney, you can gag on some Jason Cook verbiage, bitch.

[HT: someonestolemyusernamedamnit]


  1. Sounds like he's in Oxford on an academic scholarship.

  2. They have those in Oxford?

  3. Umm, outside of Vandy, I don't think any of us in the SEC can take that attitude re: academic scholies.

  4. The Truth Incarnate10:48 AM, April 28, 2008

    It's a shame that you lump SEC players into the "questionable qualifiers/big dumb animals" category. The fact that you would classify any young college student as an animal is disturbing. How kind of you to actually view a football player as a human being, as opposed to some object, good only for your entertainment as a college football player.

    You should be proud of yourself.

  5. Truth, shut your whorish mouth.

    This is a site where we "make jokes." and try to "have some fun." I try to sprinkle my posts with a liberal amount of facetiousness and sarcasm.

    For example, when I say that this is a "classy" southern sports blog, well, nothing could be further from the truth.

    So, in that vein, kindly eat my ass.

  6. Erik, only Jason Cook could have responded better.

  7. The Truth Incarnate11:11 AM, April 28, 2008

    One thing I must agree with, he certainly writes better than nailed that one. I have tried not to use too many big words for you. I don't wanna make your head hurt. And by the way, I'll pass on the ass eating, I've had lunch already.

  8. Thanks, Tiger. And it's always reassuring to know, that if not for a previous lunch appointment, truth would have, in fact, eaten my ass.

  9. Gah, Truth, you're a real stick-in-the-mud aren't you? I bet you're that guy who makes a big deal outta watching Chappelle's show because he makes fun of Mexicans.