Monday, April 7

What Will The Media do Without Above-Average White Kids?

white is the new black

This is the worst possible national title matchup for the media. Watching the Memphis/UCLA game with my folks back in Memphis, it was painfully obvious who all involved in the broadcast wanted (read: hoped) to win.

What you and I might see as a titillating (heh heh) Kansas/Memphis game of speed-on-speed, well, the national media is lost looking for a prominent honky to fluff. ("honky" or "honkey"? somebody help a brother out)

No Tyler "Psycho T" Hansbourgh?!? No Kevin "Full Court 3" Love?!? WTF? Who will Dicky V filate? Who will Billy Packer fudge pack? Now, don't get me wrong, Kansas has more than their fair share of Caucasians, but none that I could pick out of a lineup at the Whole Foods.

Then their's Memphis. The team that the national media is embrasing with all the warmth of a disapproving mother-in-law. What is Memphis' latest problem? Coaching, foul shooting, crime, street ball...Even the NCAA committee hates Memphis and loves North Carolina. (guess which 1 seed got to play every game up to the final four in it's home state while the other 1 seed got to play an elite 8 game in the 2 seed's backyard).

Instead of a combined 15 national championships playing in the title game, we've got a combined 2 (Kansas 2, Memphis 0). And lets talk in stereotypes here... Let's say what the media would like to say. Kansas is a boring assed little state in the middle of the country with only 3 million boring assed people, while Memphis is a police state governed by Nazi-Taliban where the "residents" are as likely to stabrapeshootkill you as look at you.

So how do you sell this game if you're some ACC gargling ESPN/CBS douche? Somebody tell me, who's tonight's featured "smart," "old-school," "unselfish," "fundamentally sound" WASPy Jayhawk?

white people are overrated


Word out of San Antonio is Derrick Rose is having some stomach issues...

"He eats Gummy Bears and Starburst for breakfast, and Twizzlers and Honey Buns for dinner. That's why his stomach hurts," fellow guard Chris Douglas-Roberts said. "We tell Derrick the whole year, 'Stop eating so many Gummy Bears and Sour Straws.' But he can't. ... Nobody eats Gummy Bears more than him."

Sunday afternoon, Rose walked into a scheduled group interview with all the starters and coach John Calipari, then went over to Calipari and whispered something to him. They went into the hall together, then Calipari returned alone.

"He said his stomach was bothering him," Calipari said. "I told him to go back and see the trainer."

That story leads me to this clip. I don't think Rose was so much pissed about the question as he was pissed that he just sharted his warm-ups. See, star athletes really are just like you and me...


  1. You're right about the sports media. They wanted UCLA and UNC all along. The sports media is so bad. Go TIGERS!

  2. I wanted UNC and UCLA too. Both college basketball and the NBA need more white american kids.