Guess What This Baby's Name Is!

Meet "Bryant Crimson"


Subtle. His parents are subtle.

Even so, I feel honored to share a birthday with such a blessed child. He's got a bright future ahead of him. Yep, he could go on to be a revolutionary, living legend of a Ball Coach at The University, or...or he could drink lots of George Dickel while throwing his back out on the three-wheeler, move back in with his folks, live off disability and deal meth on the side.

Either one.

I vote for the former. I mean, with a name like 'Bryant Crimson,' how could you not never be nothing but a winner? (at least this was his parent's line of thinking)

Seriously, at what point does a state social worker step in on behalf of the child?

"No, ma'am. No, Sir. No! You will name him 'Brian,' 'Billy Bob,' 'Cletus'...or anything not related to a once great, 25 year-dead, alcoholic football coach. You can name you dog 'Bryant' if you want to be 'witty' and 'cute,' but this child has rights, Gosh Dammit!"

Once again, why is it always Alabama fans? Yeah, there might be a stray "Auburn Shug" or "Red Dooley" every now and then, but much like our "Bama Fan of the Week," Tiders are the gift that keeps on giving...all the year round.

• Hat Tip: EDSBS
• Another Great Bama Name: Saban Hardin Witt