Thursday, August 17

Maurice Clarrett Responsible for Unrest In The Middle East

Lawyer: Clarett has ties to alleged Israeli mobster

This Clarett case is just getting too bizarre to ignore. In my wildest dreams I couldn't have come up with an awesome scenario like this.

Michael Jackson, John Daily and O.J. Simpson have all weighed in on the situation and are saying that Maurice is one F'ed up dude. The writers of 24 and The Sorpranos are furiously taking notes on these latest developments.

ESPN Reports that the former Ohio State running back had an interesting working arrangement with
an Israeli mobster/Sugar Daddy. Allegedly this Hebrew Al Capone supported Clarett during his "down time" until he would start getting paid by an NFL team (House In Malibu, BMW, etc...). In exchange, Clarett would pay 60% of his NFL contract to said mobster jackass.


Unfortunately for Maurice and his evil backers, Maurice sucks at football. M.C. was one of the Denver Broncos first cuts of the 2005 preseason, and now he's out of the game forever.

I doubt this is what the Israeli gangsters had in mind. Yeah, I bet they're pretty pissed off...

Who do you blame here?

Obviously Maurice didn't get the memo. Everybody in the NFL knows to steer clear of those shady Middle Eastern Gangsters types. Duh! They're usually bigger soccer fans, anyway.

But what about the Israelis? What the hell were they smoking? Investing in Maurice Clarett is about as masochistic as employing M.C. Hammer as your financial advisor.

PhotoCredit: MZone

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