Who's Got The Best Rednecks?

One Man's White-Trash is Another Man's Treasure


The South is known for many great stereotypes: Friendly folks, beautiful women, and also great down home eats.

And luckily for me, most of those stereotypes are spot on, but depending on your viewpoint, The South can also leave a somewhat ugly taste in your mouth.

Like it or not, The Redneck is our unofficial mascot.

When some ignorant geek in California or New York thinks about our home, The South, what so often comes to mind? Or, when a Pac-10 Girly Man watches a CBS game, what preconceived notions are being reinforced and by whom?

In the vein of "One Man's Trash is Another Man's Treasure" we need to get to the bottom of this.

Rednecks run rampant and unsupervised in The Deep South. While they serve their purpose (keeping Hardees and Aaron's Rent to Own financially viable), rednecks can also be a drain on our floundering economy.

The evidence shows that Rednecks are responsible for any number of crimes against civilization:

-Pickup-trucks up on blocks ("that there got good bones")
-Miller High Life (Sh#t,Yeah!)
-Wife Beaters in Public (gotta pimp tha new "These Colors Don't Run" tatoo)
-Trucker Hats (wondering why everyone else wears them now)
-Midriff exposing attire with prerequisite gut and/or "front butt" for the ladies
-Crystal Meth
-Cutoff Jorts
-Mullets
-Football Jerseys that say things like "Roll Tide"
-Sports jerseys in general
-Wallet Chains
-Black Tee Shirts
-Tee Shirts with things like "Princess" or "Drama Queen"

These people, who so prominently represent us (Southerners) in film, on
Springer and in national news casts ("Now Bubba, tell us about the train
wreck..."), must be recognized for what they truly are. In no way representative of me/you (you are in fact reading this blog and doing so at a gainful job).

Furthermore, their drunken, unprotected and disease-ridden sexual
transgressions are the ground zero for many of the social ills that plague our
nation. If you were conceived in "The Infield" of Talladega Super Speedway, you might be a Deep South Redneck. Especially if you brag about that fact (unfortunately, those that were, probably haven't heard about this thing called "da enter net")

As you can see, this subject matter fascinates me. That's why I'm working furiously to obtain a few research grants to open the first Southern Institute of Redneck Studies. But which University would be the perfect environment to house such a groundbreaking center like S.I.R.S.?

What SEC school would give me the best petri dish from which to observe the worst and the brightest of the True Southern Redneck (Dixious Rouge-neckus) in its natural habitat?

This question will not be answered in one simple posting. Oh no! This is a complex issue with multiple facets and what not.

Soon we will ranking the SEC schools and their fans in order of their redneckery, and that, my dear friend, is something you cannot afford to miss!