"I... Don't Want...Your Life"

Hoover High School Football Practices Self Love in Two-a-Days




Two-a-Days is a look inside the biggest of the big-time in Alabama high school football. Hoover thinks that their team is God's gift to the AHSAA, and they might be right.

Here's the preseason poll for the 2006 season...

Class 6A

Rank	School	2005	Pts.
No. 1	Hoover (27)***	(14-1)	333
No. 2	Daphne	(13-2)	216
No. 3	Prattville (1)	(11-1)	190
No. 4	Davidson	(12-1)	163
No. 5	Tuscaloosa County	(12-1)	143
No. 6	Homewood**	(15-0)	129
No. 7	Opelika	(12-2)	125
No. 8	Foley	(8-2)	69
No. 9	Murphy	(10-2)	50
No. 10	Oak Mountain	(10-4)	42
	***-2005 Class 6A state champs.
	**-2005 Class 5A state champs.

Those top two schools (Hoover and Daphne) have won all six of the most recent Class 6A (largest division) State Championships. Hoover has won 5, and Daphne...1.

MTV has decided to take these already overly cocky high school kids and make them into reality tv pseudo-celebs. I can't wait to hear the jackassery that spews from their young, impressionable pieholes.

And, don't forget the parents and coaches!

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and that is certainly true in this suburb.

Remember that cute little scene in Varsity Blues (An MTV Movie) when all the dads are leaning on the fence watching practice and saying stuff like...

"That boy ain't half the G.D. Quarterback I was." and "Sh#t, dem boys haven' da time of they lives!"

Be prepared for a lot of that kind of craptacular commentary.

Don't worry though, MTV and their team of reality show writers (an oxymoron) are the real stars of the show. They get paid to make this show fit the stereotype that they find most interesting.

Yes, It should be quite a spectacle. A detached from reality, redneck and over the top view of southern high school football. MTV, not to mention 50% of the country, thinks red states like Alabama are backwards and ignant, and they'll do their damndest to package that up for you.

Being that I've done time in the urban sprawl known as Hoover and still live a safe distance away, I think I will thoroughly enjoy this latest MTV offering.

Hey, it couldn't be any worse than Pillow Biter NEXT, Room Raiders and Date My Mom. At least these kids will pretend to have family values.

Season Premiere - Wed, Aug. 23 @ 9:30 Central - MTV

Two-a-Days @ MTV
Aiming For Perfection @ Sports Illustrated
Hoover Alabama @ Wikipedia
The Preseason High School Top 25 @ S.I.