Thursday, June 7

Mark Richt Is Totally Awesome!

With Jay Holgate

Surfing through some SEC Football material, I came happened upon a cute little article from a newspaper in Forsyth County, Georgia. While I'm not sure if the author, Jay Holgate, is married, his potential-wife might need to be a little worried. Because his true love is Coach Richt.

This PSA for Mark Richt should be in the personals section or headlining an commercial...

"The brilliance of Mark Richt is he is constantly working to do better. When he makes a mistake, he admits it, and tries to resolve it so it won't happen in the future. This understanding of leadership is what seperates Mark Richt from the rest of the pack. Coach Richt is constantly analyzing his own performance and trying to do better. These are traits of a strong leader and a winner.

Good People Make Better Team Players--Richt takes his great players and turns them into good people by having them do community service. He builds player character by encouraging responsible behavior. Coach Richt works very hard to explain to players the consequences of risky behavior. Richt knows good people make better team players.

The SEC is fortunate to have Mark Richt. He is a good person, a likeable leader and he is a winner on the football field."

Geez, I feel dirty just reading that. Buy/Sell: Jay has a shrine to Mark Richt in his closet...

"When Coach and I met at that press conference, I think we really connected....right Mark?! Oh, Did you know that Mark reads his players informative bed times stories about the dangers of drugs and talking to strangers! He's such a Saint. We're just perfect for each other...Um ...he's a perfect coach."

You know, maybe this is all completely normal.

Maybe I am just overreacting...I know that Richt really is good guy, and I should be glad that this alleged pervert is obsessing over a grown man and not some little boys on the internet.

Maybe Jay and I just got off on the wrong foot when I first realized the website he writes for is

WTF? Maybe I'm crazy...but that creeped me out just a bit. I don't know.

But I do know there is a town in Georgia called "Cumming," and I'm fine with that. What I'm not fine with is naming your home town newspaper's website "" Oh, that's witty! I'm surprised it doesn't get blocked by NetNanny. What the hell were they thinking?

I mean, if I'm a wealthy business man starting a newspaper in my small town of "Douchebag," I sidestep that landmine and name my website something else. Anything else.

Jay Holgate and

What a team.


Cumminghome (Safe for Work)
The Full Article

Update: We've received some knowledge from Mr. Holgate himself! Jay is strangely not a Bulldog at all; He's a Cock. He is married, and to a Bulldog. (cue the "house divided" license plate - cute). He is not actually employed by the fine folks at CummingHome, but his article was just syndicated by the burgeoning porno purveyors. He writes for Thanks for the update, Jay.


  1. outstanding journalism! cumming is a dump little town near athens. i wouldn't expect anything less from their journalistic endeavors.

  2. Really hunting some Big Game their Erik.

  3. *there*

    (for you grammar/spelling gestapo)

  4. Hey, I'm no Jamison Stone, I admit. I just call 'em like I see 'em.

    PS - we don't worry about grammar on this site.

  5. Jamie A - If by "near Athens" you mean a 1.5 hour drive, then yes, Cumming and Athens are practically the same city!!!

  6. Guys, I did the leg work on this one. Cumming and Athens are 61 miles apart.

    It's all relative, right?

    Jamie lives in South America I believe, so in the grand scheme, it's pretty damn close to Athens.

    Can't we all just get along?!?

  7. Did I type "South America"? Cause I meant Central. My bad, Jamie.

    Must be insulting. Like confusing Alabama with Arkansas.