Saturday, October 6

Sack-Up Saturday

"Hey Matty, guess what? The Trojans lost to Stanford, you got benched and WE'RE PREGNANT!"

Stanford Is Good

No wonder these 40 point Dogs beat the Preseason National Champion USC Trojans. Look at these scintillating Stanford stats (out of 119)...

Total Offense : 62
Scoring Offense : 87
Rushing Defense : 94
Pass Efficiency Defense: 116
Total Defense: 102
Scoring Defense: 102
Punt Returns : 92
Turnover Margin: 84
Pass Defense : 94
Passing Efficiency: 77
Sacks Allowed: 112

Wow, USC went and lost to a program that claims a damn tree mascot, and Stanford seems to care for football just slightly more than I care for blunt testicular trauma. It's not even a cool tree like a Sycamore or a Sequoia, it's just "tree." What a bunch of french fried homos. Way to ruin a USC vs. LSU national championship beatdown. (Amazing Box! 4 Picks for John Parker Wilson David Booty)

Speaking of LSU, Nice effin' game! One of the best I've seen. Everyone here needs to personally thank this 12th-year-senior LSU guy for suiting up and saving the SEC's hopes at a national title and making Tim Tebow cry his own tears of non-joy...

Jacob Hester - a middle aged man among boys

Craziness...Did you know that South Florida didn't even field a team back when Vanilla Ice was rollin' down A1A..."BEACHFRONT AVENUE," now they're gonna be top 5. College football is so fubariffic.

"Toss my Top 5 Salad, Saban!"


  1. that's odd ole miss fan touting l$!

    go gators

  2. I'm impressed...what can I say. Just like Orson Swindle (a gator fan) said, "LSU is an 800 pound Werewolf with a chainsaw for a penis."

    If you're a fan of College Football, you can help but be impressed by that team.

    I've always given credit to Florida when credit was due. Great game all around, by both teams.

  3. dude
    that queer tree is a Sequoia, isnt it?

  4. hell...i'm just surprised that it's 9:50 on monday morning of bama week and there isn't any bama hating going on yet.

  5. I'll tell you this, on LSU's last 4th down that wasn't a TD, Jacob Hester didn't even get back to the line of scrimmage and they gave him a first down. That was awful.

  6. to clarify, I don't mean the the TD, I mean the 4th down before that.

  7. it could be, Will. They change it every year (the mascot's suit) I don't know why I know this, but the students design and create the new "tree" every season. It'd be alot cooler if they were called the Stanford Sequoias, instead of, "Hey, look at 'Tree' doing that 'Soulja Boy' dance that all the kids seem to be so fond of."

  8. Gerry, I'm a little bitter about the Bama/Ole Miss game already. My Cousin committed a major violation and is getting married in the Heart of the SEC football season. Good news is, the wedding's on Sunday...Bad news is, the wedding is in Chicago - where I'm not confident in their LF/JP game broadcastability. Thoughts? Solutions?

    Don't worry though, there will be some weakass, half hearted smack.

  9. It should be on ESPN 360. You should be able to find a sports bar that has it. There aren't many games on that early in the morning, so your chances of seeing it are good.

  10. weakass and half hearted are two words i would use to describe your cousin. and in chicago?? is this clown a domer??? however...i'm here for you. if that game is being shown anywhere in chicago it will be here. don't ask me how i know about this...i just do. [insert "lunatic bama fan" joke here.]

  11. don't sweat it erik, i get the jp/lf sec game of the week down here in nicaragua. i'm sure you'll find a way!

    hoddy toddy. when you play bama, you're my friend.

    by the way, any suggestions on lsu-ole miss tickets down the road? not real familiar with oxford, but my dad's a huge fan and i want to surprise him.

  12. Gerry, thanks for the tip. That should be an interesting time. I fly all the way to Chicago to be surrounded by Bama fans! I'm sure they'll love an Ole Miss fan in that bar. Hey, if it means I get to watch the game, I just might do it. Sure my Auburn Wife will feel right at home.

    I love how on their schedule along the right side they skip the Ole Miss game. Yeah, it goes from Homecoming straight to Tennessee.

    Disrespect? Don't tell The Orgeron.

  13. holy shit that's funny...didn't notice that. if you click on the full calendar your boys are on there though. if you get there on thursday you can go to their "white trash bash." wear a wifebeater get a 40 of bud/bud light. hell i want to go to this place. if by chance you do make it, i'm gonna need a full report.