Monday, October 1

How'd You Enjoy Scrote-Bag Saturday?

I don't think you could call this weekend "Separation Saturday," or "Survival Saturday" or any of the other homo erotic hype phrases that ESPN so liberally applies. No, I think the most appropriate term is "Scrote-Bag Saturday." "The day when your favorite ranked team stank of old balls."

I was gonna try and talk about all the upsets in the Top 25, then I just went off on the Auburn game.

Oklahoma lost to Colorado? Do they even play DIVISION I FOOTBALL up there in Boulder? I thought they were too busy up there smokin' dubes and playin' intermurals, brother. (game winning kick)

Screw it...Let's talk Auburn/Florida

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The game everyone in these parts is talking about took place in Gainesville. How bout Auburn owning Florida? What is it about the Auburn Tigers? Georgia can't beat Florida...Tennessee gets owned by Florida...Ohio State lost it's manhood to Florida...but Auburn goes from Sly Croom's bitch (the lowest of lows), to beating the defending national champion Florida Gators in two weeks? Maybe Tuberville's got the Voodoo.

Tebow looked downright human in this game (19 carries for 3.8 per?). Brandon Cox may have been sacked 4 times, but he didn't throw a pick. He didn't throw a touchdown either, but he didn't throw a pick. That's the story of the game. Brandon Cox didn't beat Auburn for once this year. Good for you, sir. A couple issues with the game...

Had Auburn come up on the short end of the score, the play of the game would have been the non-existent Halo rule violation. WTF? If you watched Ole Miss v. Florida last week you know, the refs have been commissioned by the SEC offices, Mike Slive or maybe even Satan to do everything within their power to keep BCS teams undefeated. For those of you that don't know, THERE IS NO HALO RULE in College football (not even in the pros anymore) and as long as you allow the punt returner to catch the ball (aka don't touch him or getting in his way) you're cool. You know how I know Auburn was cool...The asshole caught the ball! Just fine. I'm proud of Tuberville for getting pissed as hell. It was complete commie horseshit, and those cock-gobbling refs deserve to be lined up and golden-showered in the face on the fifty yardline of Jordan-Hare.

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I don't care if it cost Auburn the game or not...It sure as hell could have, and therefore they should be punished. It was also a perfect example of why penalties should be reviewable in the booth.

Next issue that sparked some controversy was Herban's evil timeout usage as Auburn's legendary, true-freshman placekicker, Wes Byrum stroked the game winner. I've had a few folks complain about this. Yeah...icing the kicker (even extreme icage like this) is asshole, but don't act like Tommy T. wouldn't have done it. Tommy's pretty evil himself.

It may be sinister, but it's within every coaches right, and I think you'd be dumb not to try it in that situation.

All in all, this game was a perfect example of why we love college football. So many story lines. So much passion.

For UF it was the invincible, super-human Florida quarterback. The win streaks and championships. The evil genius of Herban and 90,000 in the Swamp at night on ESPN. Then on the Auburn side, there was the quarterback controversy, the Boos, the losses, the lack of confidence and ultimately, the doubt...The doubt that things were moving in the right direction down on the plains...The creeping doubt about Tuberville...The doubt that Auburn could even beat Alabama.

Now there's a starting, senior Quarterback who knows he can win and (and win big) with this team, a hero of a true-freshman kicker (from Florida, mind you) and a team, nay a fanbase with a some real confidence.

A little something to beat back the that over-zealous Bama Fan with. Tuberville's 9 of 10 against the Top Ten. How bout them apples, Saban? This will be the first week of the Season in which Auburn Football is the story in this least for doing something positive.

No, I don't think you'll see a Sports Illustrated covers proclaiming "Auburn's Back" or anything like that. Auburn Fans have been here before. 9 out of the last 10. Save that kind of meaningless, collector's edition propaganda for lesser fans.

Even so, something tells me it was a little easier for Auburn folks to get out of bed this Monday morning.

Toomer's is a mess, and all is right in the world


  1. the halo rule call was complete bullshit. i hate tubs but i truly enjoyed him losing his shit. urbs timout call was chickenshit as well. byrum should have rubbed it in his face way more than he did. anarchy rules in college football.

  2. Thanks for the post Eric. What a great win for Auburn - we really needed that one as watching the SECOND kick split the uprights and the following celebration just about makes up for having to watch Miss St. celebrate on our field just a couple of weeks ago. I am an SEC fan just as much as I am an Auburn fan and I was very happy to see Flordia stick it to Ohio St. just as much as the next southern boy but I'm sick of hearing about Lord Tebow and he needed a little humility 101. Seeing him on the sidelines on Auburn's last drive, helpless in the loss did put a smile on my face. War Eagle!!!!